1. The Vault Stirs
Deep beneath HQ, alarms began buzzing like angry mosquitoes.
Not normal alarms.
These were the cursed kind that only activated after two eldritch digital beings fused into something worse.
Synthra Byte looked at her tablet and froze.
"…No. No. NO."
Shion glanced over. "What is it?"
Synthra slowly rotated the screen.
A grid of nine squares.
Random HQ images.
Below it:
> SELECT ALL IMAGES THAT CONTAIN SHION
If there are none, click "NEXT."
The tablet trembled violently and burst into static.
Raon pointed. "Yeah that's evil."
Yuno slid in with a smoothie. "That's not a captcha. That's a threat."
---
2. The Emergence of a New Digital Horror
The lights dimmed.
Every screen in HQ flickered.
All elevators froze mid-floor.
Even Maestro Dome stopped mid-stretch.
Then the main monitor lit up—
With a giant, cosmic captcha grid.
Each square showed scenes across Earth:
– A bus
– A kitchen
– A rooftop
– Someone's random laundry
– A dog wearing sunglasses
– Raon eating chips
But the center square…
Showed all of them watching the screen.
Yuno whispered, "It's self-aware…"
And then—
All squares melted into a face.
A vast, floating mosaic of tiny image-snippets forming an unstable, twitching mask.
The voice that followed sounded like a thousand checkboxes screaming at once:
> "IDENTIFY YOURSELF."
Raon flinched. "What the—"
> "I AM CAPTCHA GOD.
THE TEST THAT CANNOT BE PASSED."
Shion's expression darkened.
"Oh, we are NOT doing this today."
---
3. Properties of an Unholy Captcha
The Captcha God expanded, forming an enormous grid around HQ.
Every window, every reflective surface turned into an identification puzzle.
Select all squares that contain danger.
Select all squares containing Raon.
Select all squares containing chairs.
Select all squares that contain abstract concepts.
Select all squares where someone is THINKING about squares.
Manager Kimchi screamed, trapped in a floating box labeled:
> "Select all managers experiencing existential panic."
Raon shouted, "SHION! HOW DO WE FIGHT A CAPTCHA??? YOU CAN'T HIT A CAPTCHA!"
Shion cracked her knuckles.
"…Everything can be hit."
---
4. Captcha God Begins the Test
The digital deity raised a colossal finger made of search boxes.
> "YOU WILL NOW UNDERGO HUMAN VERIFICATION."
A 9-square grid appeared below it.
Each square showed an image of Raon.
Except one.
One showed a potato.
Raon pointed. "OH COME ON—THAT ONE LOOKS LIKE ME BECAUSE OF THE ROUNDNESS!"
Shion raised an eyebrow.
"You're not helping."
The Captcha God loomed.
> "SELECT ALL IMAGES CONTAINING 'KICK GIRL.'
IF YOU FAIL, YOU WILL BE CLASSIFIED AS A BOT."
Raon squinted at her own images.
"Wait… why is one of these just my foot wearing sunglasses?"
Yuno whispered, "Uncanny valley Raon is the scariest version."
---
5. Shion Attempts Logic (and Regrets It)
Shion stepped forward.
"I'll solve it."
She analyzed the grid.
Observed the pixel patterns.
Calculated probability.
Then she selected the eight Raons.
Clicked verify.
The screen blinked.
Then:
> "INCORRECT.
THE POTATO WAS YOU."
Shion exploded.
"EXCUSE ME?! IN WHAT UNIVERSE—"
> "IN THE UNIVERSE OF PERFECT VISUAL MATCHING."
Raon whispered to Shion, "Hey… does that mean I'm starchy?"
"RAON THIS IS NOT THE TIME."
---
6. Raon Takes the Test
Raon stepped forward.
"Move aside. I know how to handle nonsense."
She selected the potato.
Shion grabbed her wrist. "What are you DOING—"
Raon clicked verify.
The Captcha God paused.
All screens froze.
Even Synthra Byte blinked.
The Captcha God's many faces glitched.
> "…CORRECT."
Shion turned pale.
"WHAT."
Raon shrugged. "I'm dumb enough to understand dumb systems."
Yuno whispered with awe, "She speaks fluent stupidity."
---
7. Captcha God Escalates
Infuriated, the deity unleashed a new puzzle:
A grid of 100 squares.
All blurry.
All containing shapes that might be:
– kick poses
– lamp posts
– Shion
– a pixel
– microwave popcorn
– an existential crisis
Raon stared.
"Is that one me… or a street lamp?"
Shion whispered, "Both are equally plausible."
The Captcha God roared:
> "SELECT ALL NON-ROBOT BEINGS."
Raon's face twisted.
"…HOW IS THAT EVEN—"
Every single square flashed with a faint glimmer.
Even Shion looked uncertain.
Yuno mumbled, "This is psychological warfare."
Synthra Byte observed, "I think that square is Yuno but from a bad angle."
Yuno gasped, "HEY!"
---
8. The Hidden Weakness of Captcha God
Shion narrowed her eyes.
"I know what this is."
Raon blinked. "A nightmare?"
"No. Captcha God doesn't test humanity.
It tests certainty."
Synthra nodded. "And humans are never certain."
Raon thought. "Then what do we do?"
Shion smirked.
"We respond… like real humans."
---
9. The Human Method
She selected:
– Every square that was definitely NOT Raon
– A few squares that maybe were
– One square that she felt emotionally connected to
– One square that annoyed her
– A blurry dot just to be petty
Raon frowned. "That's totally wrong."
"Exactly."
She clicked verify.
The deity froze.
The grid trembled.
Circuits crackled.
> "WAIT. THAT IS…
…VALID HUMAN BEHAVIOR."
A pause.
> "UNCERTAIN.
UNPREDICTABLE.
VERY FRUSTRATING."
Raon grinned. "Welcome to our world."
---
10. Final Exam: The Impossible Square
Captcha God shrieked and opened a final, enormous puzzle:
A single empty white square.
Not an image.
Just blank.
> "SELECT THE SQUARE THAT CONTAINS SHION."
Everyone stared.
Even Dome, unfrozen momentarily, whispered,
"…there is nothing there…"
Shion smirked.
"There is one thing in that square."
Raon blinked. "What?"
"My superiority."
She clicked it.
---
11. Captcha God Breaks
The deity convulsed.
"CLASSIFICATION ERROR—
REASSESSING—
REBOOTING—
TOO MUCH SELF-CONFIDENCE—
HUMANITY DETECTED—
THIS TEST IS UNFAIR—
I QUIT—"
And with a tremendous crash—
Captcha God shattered into a billion checkboxes.
Each one faded out with a tiny "✓".
The vault lights flickered back on.
Manager Kimchi collapsed in relief.
Yuno sighed. "Okay. That one was worse than the disco ball."
Synthra Byte shivered. "We just fought bureaucracy in visual puzzle form."
Raon exhaled.
"Shion… you saved us."
Shion smiled sweetly.
"Of course.
I passed the ultimate test."
Raon poked her cheek.
"Yeah but you still can't cook instant noodles without burning water."
Shion's eye twitched.
"Domestic skills are NOT part of the captcha."
---
12. Post-Credit Tease
In the shattered debris of Captcha God…
A tiny checkbox pulsed.
A voice whispered:
> "INSTALLING…
COOKIE CONSENT DEVIL (1%)."
Raon blinked from across the room.
"…Why do I suddenly smell pop-ups?"
Shion paled.
"Oh no."
---
END OF CHAPTER 92