[Bianca]
"I honestly don't see what choice you have, BB. You can hide out in my shitty apartment or on a beach while Star Agency weathers a sex scandal. Frankly, I think the blue waters surrounding a billionaire's island are better," Macy countered, her words sounding more and more surreal.
"What about my life?" I hissed, still too fucking docile for my liking. "My internship begins tomorrow, Mace. I can't just bail for The Brianna Show. Not fucking this time. My career comes first, damn it."
I come first. When did that stop being the case? When was the last time I put my needs first?
The buzzing got the better of me, so I didn't hear Macy's reply because I finally pulled the phone away from my ear.
"One second. Let me just turn the vibration off," I said, but temptation got the better of me when my eyes fell on the many, many new notifications.
At the top of the list was an email from my new firm. I gulped and clicked on it.
The subject read: Update regarding your internship offer.
My eyes skimmed rapidly, looking for important information, while a lump formed into my throat.
Just like when I stood outside my bedroom, I already knew what was coming. I had to look anyway.
…due to a change in our program needs…regrettably rescind internship offer…decision was not made lightly…
"I just got fired," I murmured into the phone, raising it back up to my ear. "Mace, explain," I insisted, dread and shock taking over my voice.
Fucking no. Just no. Brianna already took my sorry excuse for a fiancé. She was not costing me a coveted internship too.
"Why the fuck does the world think I'm Brianna? They don't even know about me being her sister. I made sure of it. I buried my modeling past before law school. I was careful. Stayed out of the limelight as she rose to fame," I insisted, like life owed me something.
I was entitled to a fucking break, damn it.
Breathing became difficult. My heart thudded painfully. My dream and hard work went up in smoke before my eyes. There was nothing I could do but watch. I felt powerless.
"Later. No socials, okay? Grab her passport and plane ticket. Use the fire escape and get your ass on that plane. As far as the world is concerned, for the next few days, you're The promiscuous princess of fashion. You're Brianna Chase. Do you understand? Fucking try to have fun while you're at it," Macy spoke firmly.
No, I wasn't going. I had to stay to fix things. Somehow my hand ended up digging around Brianna's things anyway.
Looking for the passport was busy work. I wasn't losing my mind. Bianca Chase wasn't stupid or crazy enough to actually go on vacation right now.
Just as my frazzled search commenced, a lazy voice hit the back of my ears.
"Hey baby. I thought you and Macy were doing wedding stuff," Jason said, his voice laidback, laced with just a hint of alarm.
Maybe he wasn't the world's shittiest actor after all.
I bit down so hard on my lower lip that I broke skin and tasted blood. Silent tears that I managed to hold back up until now for the most part streamed down my face.
Tempted to turn around and punch him in the dick, I continued digging instead. Find the fucking passport. My lifeline. Flee. Put me first. Fuck the internship. Fuck Jason and Brianna. I couldn't fucking breathe. Just. Needed. A. Damn. Breath.
"Let's fuck again before she gets home," Brianna's bubbly voice slurred as she entered the common area.
My blood ran cold. White hot fury tore through me. I took a moment to wipe away the tears discreetly. Then I whipped around towards them, glaring daggers at their traitorous faces.
They were both buck naked. His puny dick had shrunk back to almost non-existent. He covered his junk while staring me dead in the eye, trembling like a fucking pussy. The sight amused me.
"Like I didn't know what I was settling for. Jay please," I said, hysterical with laughter.
My engagement. My sisterly bond. My career. It was all one big, fucked up joke. I was done being the punchline.
"Baby, listen. Let's talk, okay?" Jason began, throwing on his boyish grin.
That smile used to fix everything. Now I wanted to kick his teeth in so that he could never use it on me again.
"BB, there isn't time. Paparazzi will swarm your apartment building in a matter of minutes. Get the fuck out of there. I'll deal with the traitors," said Macy, ever the voice of reason.
Like me, she'd been putting up with Brianna's shit for years. At least she got a paycheck out of it. What the fuck was I doing it for?
Suddenly everything was crystal clear. I didn't want these people. They were selfish assholes that made me miserable. I deserved more.
"BB, I can explain," Brianna began, her grey orbs brimming with tears. "I'm such a fuck up. It wasn't even good. I swear."
"Bitch, please. I taught you the fake waterworks trick. Fuck knows where the painful memories are coming from though, you shell of a human being," I spat back at my sister with a snort, then turned my glare on Jason. "Maybe she was thinking of her time in bed with you when she forced out those crocodile tears, Jay."
"Hey, I'm a great lay," Jason said defensively, his face marred in outrage.
"You're a fucking lazy waste of space in bed. Your little dick never gets me off. It's fucking exhausting pretending I feel something when you bother to stick your dick into me," I said, my hands flailing about, eyes rolling back for dramatic effect.
"She's not wrong. Your dick doesn't do much for a girl, Jay. No offense," Brianna confirmed, when Jason looked to the woman he just fucked for an assist. "I helped you dodge a bullet, BB. Honestly," she said, rushing towards me.
"It was good enough to fuck behind your sister's back for the last six years," Jason quipped spitefully, then instantly regretted it.
Six years. That was the bulk of our relationship. Hell, I was determined to leave the dickhead behind. I deserved better. And yet, his last words would not stop playing in my head on repeat. Was being with me so horrible he had to look elsewhere so fucking early on?
I knew Brianna was drunk out of her mind, but fuck if I didn't want to mess her face up anyway. She was right though. Whatever went wrong between Jason and I, it wasn't all on me. The man I fell for had disappeared over the years. This sad sack of shit who lacked ambition was all that was left.
Just like that, the penny dropped. I loved him, truly, but fuck I didn't like him. I was just indifferent. We barely knew each other. He was a habit. Like brushing your teeth or setting an alarm, only bad for you.
All these years… Why the fuck did I stay?
"Forget about Brianna. It was just meaningless sex, baby. It meant nothing. I missed you so much. You're always so busy that I was bored and lonely and she's an easy slut," said Jason with venom, taking a step in my direction.
A million accusations and curses flooded my brain. I will say though watching them turn on each other amused me to no end.
"When you miss someone, you say so. Make the effort to show it. You do not proceed to fuck her sister for the next six years of your relationship," I roared, then laughed so hard I was afraid I'd piss myself.
Not haha, I'm happy laughter. Although, in a fucked up sort of way, on some level, I was glad. Fuck knew I wouldn't have left this asshole without the betrayal.
Weak. Sad. Pathetic. I could say Jason used me, but I used him too. He was a convenience. Knowing I wasn't coming home to an empty apartment made me feel better about how hard life was. I convinced myself that was love. Was I wrong? Could I not stand on my own two feet?
"Baby, come on. I didn't mean that. It was like once every couple of months. Saying six years makes it sound worse than it is," Jason backtracked, poorly.
The fucker couldn't lie for shit. Like I said, lousy actor.
"Oh please. We fuck like bunnies. Every time I'm over and you aren't home. I can't help myself. It's so fun sharing with you, BB," my drunk whore of a sister announced, then bounced up and down on the spot and said, "Who is next?"
I stared at the deranged psycho in front of me wearing my face. Sisterhood, my ass.
"Shut your lying, whore mouth. She is drunk. She does not know who she's fucking half the time," Jason said, taking another step towards me. "We're getting married, BB. I'll do better then. Things before the wedding don't count. Do they, baby?" my slimy, shameless fiancé said, then tossed in, "Bad time, I know, but the rent is due. Don't forget, okay?"
His lopsided smirk. Her giddy, almost manic face. A cash cow and a fucked up obsession gone too far. How did I not see that this was what I was to these people?
"You're going to tear my skin off in the middle of the night and wear it one of these days, aren't you?" I said to my sister, genuinely appalled despite her drunken state.
Because fuck, when wasn't she drunk? Was this my rock bottom or hers?
"Pay the fucking bill yourself, you degenate loser. There isn't a letter in the alphabet to denote how shitty your acting is. You suck. No talent means no hire, Jay. She can have your little knick knack. Both of you, stay the fuck away from me," I said, locating Brianna's passport and plane ticket at last. Deciding to just take the whole handbag altogether, I added, "I have a plane to catch."
"You pretentious bitch," Jason spat at me. "You think you're fucking better than everyone, don't you?"
"But I've been waiting years to—" Brianna began with a pout.
Did his words rattle me? Yes. It stung to know that this was what he thought of me. Oh well. Pain faded. Brianna's puppy dog eyes wasn't going to work either. I had a beach to be on.
"Save it. We both know I have earned at least this fucking vacation while standing in for your ass over the years," I hissed at her, before zeroing in on Jason. "Have your shit out of my apartment by the time I get back."
Oh it was going to hurt like a bitch before this was over. It wasn't just Jason I gave everything to after all. My twin was just as much of a leech and I was her enabler. I allowed this to happen. Our identities were so entangled, she barely existed without me. The irony of me stealing her identity for this trip was not lost on me.
Getting from my apartment to the airport was a blur. I cried like a baby for everything I gave up over the last few years, screaming my lungs out.
I was lost. Broken. Lawyer? Sister? Fiancé? Not anymore. So who the fuck was I then?