"Don't hurry—or you'll make it in time."
I've heard this expression more than once. But I didn't think it would reflect on me in such a way.
Winter, black ice... It probably wouldn't have been so humiliating if I'd slipped and ended up under a car. But the fact that I managed to throw the car into a skid on an empty road... And on summer tires, no less.
Yeah, it doesn't do me any honors. I could probably try to justify myself by saying I was hurrying for a good reason. Though, who cares now? It certainly won't help either Marina or me...
Nor those blurry figures on the roadside, hurrying toward me through half-meter snowdrifts. It's cold... So cold.
Is it because I'm dying, or because the tree pierced the windshield? Anyway, what difference does it make now, right?
My chest hurt, and I coughed. It hurt even more. And not from the blood-red stains I was hacking up onto the light plastic of the mangled dashboard. But from the huge chunk of tree that had pierced my chest on the right side.
"Hang in there, kid!" one of the blurry shadows shouted at me in the voice of an elderly man. "What the hell... Where were you rushing to, you young idiots?"
I really wanted to tell him exactly where I was rushing to.
And tell him about Marina, and about everything-everything... I wanted to vent at the end, it seems, huh?
It's getting dark. How long have I been lying here? When I went off the road, it was barely nine... Oh, yeah, it looks like I'm dying.
What a shame. Pointlessly, ingloriously... Alright, I need to conserve my strength; the guy said to hang in there. I should believe him—after all, I was the one who "took myself off" the road, not him. I need to trust experienced people...
For some reason, it got a little warmer. And brighter. And the pain went somewhere. The darkened world filled with colors. Mostly blue and red. Flashing on and off right under me.
Wait a minute, those are flashing lights! And there are angels in blue uniforms with red crosses. And the "DPS" guys in vests scurrying around the car. Oh, even rescuers! What's that thing in their hands? Oh, those are hydraulic shears! I've only seen those on TV news.
Hey-hey-hey, folks! I'm here, right nearby... Literally, ten meters above you.
What?!
***
"Seen enough?"
That's how the Voice addressed me for the first time.
To be honest, I was even getting bored from the hopelessness, watching as they extricated my bleeding body from what had been a brand-new European sedan just six months ago. Yeah, vaunted quality, damn it. The steering rack jammed only halfway. And the wheels locked... Looks like I did something wrong during my race with fate.
Anyway, it's not important anymore. I don't care: I see the ambulance doctor shaking his head. Negatively shaking.
"Uh-huh," I waved my hand without looking at the Voice, like, come on over, don't be shy. It'll be more fun with two ghosts. "Come on over, be my guest."
The Voice looked like a clump of light, white fog. Such... warming, warm fog... I don't know how to describe it.
"I am indeed just a guest," the Voice admitted. "But for you, as you see, there's no place here anymore."
"I see," I replied. "Too bad..."
"Pitying yourself for dying?" the Voice clarified.
"Pitying that I hurried," I admitted. "Right now, I'd probably be with Marina already."
"You know you couldn't have helped her," said the knowledgeable Voice. "That's beyond human capabilities. Beyond your capabilities. Medicine is only a small part of success. The surgery..."
"But I would have been there. And the surgery would have gone successfully, for sure. But without the medicine... There's none at the hospital. I let down both her and myself... Screw myself. It's Marina I feel sorry for. I couldn't..."
"Caring for those close to you is commendable," the Voice agreed. "For those who are younger. Weaker..."
"She's my first love," I confessed. "We've been together for ten years, practically... 'Like behind a stone wall,' yeah..."
The Voice was silent. For some reason, the usually curious me now couldn't care less about what was happening. I promised Marina I'd make it. And I couldn't.
"Flight delay, long security check, snow and rain outside, sudden cold snap," the Voice listed everything I'd been cursing since dawn. "Sure it's all just because of you?"
"It's always just because of you," I said. "At least in this case. If there were a second chance..."
"And what would you do?" the Voice became interested. It seemed to me, or was he speaking somehow very... quickly. Rushing somewhere?
"I'd do everything right. If I knew everything I know now. I wouldn't have come home from work and gone to sleep a month ago, because of which I couldn't order the medicine in time, but I'd sit down at that damn computer and do everything! I got angry. "If only I'd known...""
"What if I told you that what happened can be fixed?" the Voice asked unexpectedly.
"Oh yeah, divine bitch," I laughed in helplessness. "Wind it all back. Where do I sign in blood to go back a month?"
"Here... I can't help with that anymore," the Voice said. "But something is within my power."
"No way?" I was surprised.
In a blink, I realized everything around me had vanished. The snow, the car, the people... Even the light from the flashing beacons.
Just me, a white clump like cotton wool soaked in water, and darkness around us.
"I can save her," the Voice said. And where's his mouth, anyway? What kind of unknown...
"Save Marina?" I tensed.
"Exactly," the Voice assured. "You help me, I help you. A mutually beneficial deal."
"And how will you help me if you won't bring me back to life?" it seems I wasn't the only one who hit my head hard.
"Your body is dead," the Voice said. "Personally, I can't help you in this world anymore. But while there's still time, I can cure your beloved. Not only from the disease that's killing her. But I'll make it so she can become a mother. I'll fulfill her most cherished dream..."
"Our dream," I corrected automatically.
"Yours," the Voice agreed. "But in return, you'll go where you need to save someone... something... complicated language, why did you make it like that?"
"Get to the point, cotton wool," I wanted to grab him by the lapels, but... It's a cloud. Grab the fluffy part, and he might like it? "I'll die, but she'll live and be happy, right? My Marina?"
"Right. In return, you'll go... to a familiar place. Where difficulties and a mission await you."
"I don't care, do it."
"You'll have enemies..."
"I don't care, do it already."
"Possibly—friends."
"Where's the ear to yell into?!""
"You'll never come back here," the Voice warned.
"But she'll be happy?" I clarified.
"Yes," the Voice said somewhat absentmindedly. "You're... agreeing awfully quickly. The others... they don't care, they want something else... And here. Had to sacrifice yourself often?"
"Not your business, cotton wool," I don't need philosophizing psychologists in the darkness here. "Go on, do your dirty work, Bus-sama. Let's go. Where's the dragon to save and the princess...""
And then darkness came. Complete, hopeless. Without flights through glowing tunnels and phantasmagoric visions.
The Voice just disappeared.
And I...
***
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