Rick's strategy worked better than he'd hoped, which was a pleasant surprise considering his usual luck. The Guardian charged forward with its massive sword, and Rick activated Reversal of Fortune at the exact right moment.
The blade struck him in the shoulder, and the reflected damage slammed into the Guardian's cracked breastplate with the force of a battering ram. The crack expanded further, spiderwebbing across the dark armor.
Rick, even as his body started breaking apart from the damage, threw three cards in rapid succession. Guardian's Grudge to amplify damage against armor, Bisection Blues to target the magical barrier beneath, and finally his new Decapitation Special card to follow through with physical force.
The combination hit like a sledgehammer. The Guardian's breastplate shattered, revealing something underneath that looked like swirling dark energy held together by sheer willpower.
The massive figure stumbled backward, and for the first time since the fight began, Rick heard genuine surprise in its voice. "Impossible. You actually damaged the core."
Then Rick died again, death two hundred and fourteen, but he'd seen what he needed to see. The armor wasn't the real body. The energy core was. He respawned outside, checked his new card (Core Striker, which dealt bonus damage to energy-based enemies), and immediately turned to Coralia.
"I need you to do something for me," Rick said.
"Anything, Master Rick!" Coralia's tentacles perked up with enthusiasm.
"When I go back in there, I'm going to break that thing's armor again. The moment I do, I need you to grab the Guardian with your tentacles and hold it still for as long as you can. Can you do that?"
Coralia's eyes went wide. "You want me to fight with you?"
"I need someone I can trust to follow orders exactly. Fortuna would probably try to bet on the outcome, and Ace is a card. You're the only one who can help me."
The octopus girl's face lit up with such pure joy that Rick felt a little guilty for not including her in the fight earlier. "I won't let you down!"
"Good. Also, keep holding Fortuna. I don't need her causing chaos right now."
"Understood!"
Rick pushed open the golden door again. The Guardian was still on its throne, but now there was a visible hole in its breastplate where the armor had shattered. The dark energy core pulsed with an ominous red glow.
"You've forced me to reveal my true form," the Guardian said, standing up. "No one has managed that in three hundred years. The God of Trials will be pleased with your performance."
"Great. Can I get that in writing for my resume?" Rick started channeling mana into his cards. "I died to a banana peel, survived fifty floors of traps, and impressed a divine guardian."
"That's got to be worth something."
"Your humor won't save you."
"No, but it makes dying less depressing."
The Guardian raised its sword, but this time Rick was ready with backup. He activated Reversal of Fortune the moment the attack came, and the reflected damage slammed into the exposed core. The Guardian reeled backward, and that was Coralia's cue.
Eight tentacles shot forward from behind Rick, wrapping around the Guardian's arms, legs, and torso with surprising strength. The massive figure struggled, but Coralia held firm, her face set with determination.
"Now, Master Rick!"
Rick didn't waste the opportunity. He threw every card he had that could damage an energy core. Core Striker, Lightning Card to disrupt the energy flow, Acid Splash to corrode the protective barrier around it, Hydra's Curse to multiply the damage, and finally his trusty Explosive Finish to cap it all off.
The combination was devastating. Lightning crackled across the Guardian's body, acid ate away at the energy barrier, and the multiplied damage from Hydra's Curse turned what should have been a moderate assault into an overwhelming barrage.
The explosion that followed sent both Rick and Coralia flying backward, though Coralia managed to keep her grip on the still-wrapped Fortuna. Rick hit the marble floor hard, his health bar dropping to critical levels.
But when the smoke cleared, he saw something beautiful. The Guardian was on its knees, its sword dissipating into particles of light, the energy core flickering like a dying flame.
"You have won," the Guardian said, its voice fading. "The fragment is yours, challenger."
"You have proven yourself worthy through persistence, strategy, and sheer stubborn refusal to give up. The God of Trials acknowledges your victory."
The massive figure began to dissolve, the dark armor crumbling away to reveal something small and glowing underneath. A crystal fragment, no larger than Rick's thumb, floated in the air where the Guardian had been. It was beautiful in a way that hurt to look at, pulsing with colors that didn't quite exist in normal reality.
Rick stood up on shaky legs and approached the fragment. The moment his fingers touched it, information flooded into his mind.
This was Fragment Seven of Thirteen, one piece of the legendary Wishing Card. He needed twelve more fragments before he could access the final vault where his main quest would be fulfilled.
"You did it!" Coralia rushed over, her tentacles waving excitedly. "You defeated the Guardian! You're amazing!"
"I died two hundred and fourteen times to do it," Rick said, carefully storing the fragment in his inventory. "That's not amazing. That's just stupid and stubborn."
"But you won! That's what matters!"
Ace floated down beside them, and if a card could look impressed, Ace definitely did. "I'll admit, Rick, that was actually clever."
"Using Coralia as support while you focused on offense. You're finally learning to think tactically."
"Don't get used to it. I'm sure I'll do something stupid soon enough."
A notification appeared in Rick's vision, glowing golden letters that made him blink.
[QUEST UPDATE: FRAGMENTS COLLECTED 1/13]
[LEVEL UP! LEVEL 38 → LEVEL 45]
[TITLE EVOLVED: "THE UNKILLABLE MORON" → "THE PERSISTENT BASTARD"]
[NEW SKILL UNLOCKED: CARD FUSION (COMBINE TWO CARDS INTO ONE STRONGER CARD)]
[DEATHS: 214]
Rick read the notifications with mixed feelings. On one hand, he'd gained seven levels and a new skill that sounded incredibly useful. On the other hand, his title had somehow gotten worse despite the upgrade.
"The Persistent Bastard," he read aloud. "Really? That's what we're going with?"
"It's accurate," Ace said.
"I hate this system so much."
A doorway appeared on the far side of the chamber, glowing with soft white light. That was presumably the exit, the way back to the surface after fifty floors of hell. Rick looked at it, then at Coralia, who was still holding the tentacle-wrapped Fortuna, then at the fragment in his inventory.
"Alright," he said, starting to walk toward the exit. "Let's get out of this place."
"I need a drink, a bath, and about three days of sleep. Not necessarily in that order."
"What about me?" came a muffled voice from Coralia's tentacles. Fortuna had apparently woken up or finally gotten tired of being quiet.
"What about you?" Rick asked without stopping.
"Are you going to let me out?"
"That depends. Are you going to immediately try to gamble away our reward money?"
There was a pause. "Define immediately."
"That's what I thought. Coralia, keep her wrapped until we're back in town."
"With pleasure, Master Rick!"
Fortuna's indignant protests were muffled by tentacles as they walked through the glowing doorway. Rick didn't look back at the chamber where he'd died over twenty times fighting the Guardian. He'd gotten what he came for, and that was enough.
One fragment down, twelve to go. The journey to collect them all would probably kill him a few hundred more times, but at this point, Rick was used to it. Death was just another inconvenience, like rain or taxes or goddesses who couldn't stop gambling.
As they emerged into the cold air of the Deadlands, Rick allowed himself a small smile. He'd survived the Vault of Eternal Suffering, earned his first fragment, and even managed to keep Fortuna from causing too much chaos. All things considered, that was a pretty good day.
"So," Ace said as they started the long walk back toward civilization. "Where to next?"
"Somewhere with a bar," Rick said. "Definitely somewhere with a bar."