The crowd continued to stare at Rick like he'd just performed a miracle or a curse, nobody was quite sure which. Rick, for his part, was too busy counting his stolen respawned coins to care much about the theological implications of what he'd just done.
Then Ace chimed in with what was becoming his trademark enthusiasm for Rick's suffering. "Oh, and congratulations! You've earned a new card!"
A notification appeared in Rick's vision, accompanied by the now-familiar ding.
[DEATH CARD GENERATED: COIN SWALLOW]
[RARITY: RARE]
[EFFECT: Summons a burst of metallic coins that deal bludgeoning damage to enemies. Coins remain after use and can be collected. Side effect: May cause enemies to become confused and attempt to collect coins during battle.]
"Wait, this is actually useful!" Rick said, examining the card that materialized in his hand. It showed an illustration of coins erupting from someone's mouth in a golden spray. "I can literally make money by fighting!"
"You died choking on stolen coins and the universe rewarded you with a money-generating attack. I don't know whether to be impressed or concerned about the moral implications," Ace said.
"I'm going with impressed. Now come on, I've got registration to do."
Rick marched toward the Adventurer's Guild with the confidence of a man who had just successfully committed the dumbest heist in history. The crowd parted for him, some still making warding gestures, others whispering to each other about the crazy foreigner who couldn't die.
The guild building was even more impressive up close. The double doors were made of thick oak reinforced with iron bands, and through the windows, Rick could see a bustling interior filled with adventurers of all types.
He pushed through the doors and was immediately hit with the smell of ale, leather, and what might have been dragon breath. Someone in the corner was definitely part dragon.
The interior was exactly what Rick had imagined. A large common room with tables scattered about, a bar along one wall, and a massive quest board covered in papers.
Adventurers sat in groups, planning their next moves or celebrating successful quests. At the back of the room was a long counter with several clerks handling registrations and quest turn-ins.
Rick walked up to the counter with perhaps more swagger than someone who'd died twice in one day should have. The clerk, a tired-looking woman with glasses and an expression that suggested she'd seen it all, looked up from her paperwork.
"Can I help you?" she asked in a tone that implied she'd rather not.
"Yes, I'd like to register as an adventurer." Rick slapped a handful of coins on the counter with unnecessary flair. "I believe this should cover the registration fee and then some."
The clerk glanced at the coins, then at Rick's distinctly non-medieval clothing, then at the wet spots on his shirt from the fountain water. "You're the guy who just died in the town square."
"That's me! But as you can see, I got better."
"That's not normal."
"I'm not a normal guy." Rick flashed what he hoped was a charming smile. "So, about that registration?"
The clerk sighed the sigh of someone who was not paid enough for this. "Fine. Name?"
"Rick Rolland."
"Class or specialization?"
"Card Master." Rick pulled out a few of his cards and fanned them on the counter. The clerk's eyes widened slightly at the sight of the glowing magical cards.
"That's a new one. Alright, Mr. Rolland. Registration fee is five copper. You'll receive a guild badge that serves as your identification."
"You start at F-rank and can move up by completing quests and proving your abilities."
"Don't die, don't cause unnecessary property damage, and don't accept quests above your rank unless you're in a party with someone qualified. Any questions?"
"When can I start taking quests?"
"Right now if you want. The board has listings for all ranks. F-rank quests are mostly gathering, pest control, and delivery jobs. Nothing glamorous, but it pays." She pushed a bronze badge across the counter along with some paperwork. "Sign here, here, and here."
Rick signed with flourish, officially becoming a registered adventurer. The badge was warm when he pinned it to his shirt, and he felt a small surge of something that might have been magic binding it to him.
"Welcome to the guild, Mr. Rolland. Try not to die on your first quest."
"No promises!" Rick said cheerfully, gathering his remaining coins. He had enough left for a room at an inn and maybe some food. Things were finally looking up.
The inn he found was called The Sleepy Dragon, and it was exactly the kind of cozy establishment Rick had hoped for. The innkeeper, a portly man with a magnificent mustache, was happy to rent him a room for two silver coins, which included breakfast.
"First floor, room three," the innkeeper said, handing him a key. "Breakfast is at dawn. Don't be late or the other guests will eat everything."
Rick climbed the stairs to his room, his body suddenly remembering that it had experienced multiple deaths today. The room was small but clean, with a bed that looked infinitely more comfortable than sleeping in an alley. He collapsed onto it without bothering to remove his shoes.
"Not bad for a first day," Rick said to the ceiling. "Died a bunch, got cards, made money through the stupidest method possible, and registered as an adventurer."
"I'm basically killing it. Literally."
"Your definition of success is deeply concerning," Ace said, settling onto the nightstand. "But I suppose you've made progress."
"Get some rest. Tomorrow you'll actually need to complete a quest."
"Tomorrow I become a real adventurer. Today I'm just going to enjoy not being dead or homeless." Rick closed his eyes, and within minutes, he was asleep.
The sleep was deep and dreamless, the kind of exhausted slumber that comes after a day of repeated traumatic death. Rick didn't wake when the inn settled down for the night.
He didn't wake when a drunk patron stumbled past his door. He didn't even wake when the first light of dawn crept through his window. What did wake him was the sensation of something incredibly soft pressing against his face.
Rick's eyes snapped open. His view was entirely obscured by what appeared to be fabric. Red fabric. Red fabric that was moving slightly with someone's breathing. His brain, still foggy with sleep, took several seconds to process what was happening.
He was in bed. That much he knew. But he wasn't alone. There was someone else in the bed with him, and judging by the softness currently smothering him, that someone was very female and very close.
Rick scrambled backward with a yelp, falling off the bed and hitting the floor with a thud. He looked up at the bed and felt his brain short-circuit.
Goddess Fortuna was lying in his bed, still wearing that ridiculous bunny outfit, her red hair spread across his pillow like she'd been there all night. She was curled up comfortably, looking completely at peace, and showed no signs of waking up despite Rick's dramatic exit from the mattress.
"What?" Rick said eloquently. "How? Why?"
Ace, who had apparently been awake this whole time, spun cheerfully. "Oh good, you're up! I was wondering when you'd notice your bedmate."
"My bedmate? Ace, there's a goddess in my bed! When did she get here? How did she get here? Why is she here?"
"She appeared around midnight. Just popped into existence like she owned the place. I tried to wake you up, but you sleep like the dead, which is ironic considering how often you actually are dead."
Fortuna stirred slightly, making a small noise that might have been cute if Rick wasn't currently having a minor panic attack. She rolled over, her bunny ears flopping adorably, and her arm stretched out to where Rick had been sleeping as if searching for something.
"This can't be happening," Rick muttered. "This is my first night in a fantasy world and I wake up with a goddess in my bed. This is either the best or worst start to a harem route ever."
"I believe the technical term is 'complications,'" Ace offered helpfully.
Fortuna's eyes fluttered open, revealing those glitter-filled eyes that were somehow even more sparkly in the morning light. She focused on Rick, who was still on the floor, and smiled sleepily.
"Morning, Rick," she said, stretching like a cat. "Miss me?"
Rick pointed at her with a shaking hand. "You. Bed. Explain. Now."
Fortuna sat up, looking far too pleased with herself. "Well, funny story about that. Turns out I'm not supposed to just drop mortals into dangerous worlds and walk away."
"The Divine Council got mad at me for 'insufficient oversight' or something boring like that. So now I have to personally check on your progress every once in a while."
"That doesn't explain why you're in my bed!"
"Oh, that. Well, divine manifestation takes a lot of energy, and I was tired, and you had a perfectly good bed that wasn't being fully utilized. Seemed wasteful not to share."
"You could have gotten your own room!"
"But this was free. Also, you're warm. Do you know how cold the divine realm gets at night?" Fortuna stood up and stretched again, apparently completely unconcerned about the situation.
"Besides, I wanted to personally congratulate you on your innovative use of the respawn system. Dying for pocket change. Classic Rick energy."
Rick buried his face in his hands. "This is my life now. This is actually my life."
"Cheer up! I brought breakfast!" Fortuna pulled a basket out of nowhere, literally out of thin air. "We've got bread, cheese, some kind of fruit I can't pronounce, and a bottle of wine because why not?"
"It's dawn."
"It's five o'clock somewhere. Now come on, let's eat while you tell me about your adventures so far. I want to hear all about how you died!"
Rick looked at Ace for support. Ace just spun in what might have been a shrug.
"Your life is beautifully chaotic, Master Rick."
"I hate everything."
"No you don't. Now come have breakfast with the goddess. This is technically a huge honor."
Rick sighed and climbed back to his feet. His first full day as an adventurer hadn't even started yet, and it was already insane.