"Let me tell you some good news and some bad news. Which one do you want to hear first? Never mind—your opinion doesn't matter. The bad news is: you're already dead."
"Is that so". Hemu replied expressionlessly, dead-fish-eyed, staring at the strange figure across the table.
Calling it human felt like a stretch, though it did have a vaguely human shape. It looked like a silhouette of a person made entirely out of pure white.
"The good news is: you're a noble Earthling."
At that, the faceless figure's tone suddenly shifted, becoming somewhat respectful.
"You now have the option to accept our Time-Space Administration Bureau's invitation and become a glorious transmigrator. Or you can return to Earth for reincarnation. Of course, if you choose reincarnation, there's only a one in a hundred million chance you'll be reborn as a human. The more likely outcome…"
The faceless man didn't finish his sentence, but Hemu already understood where he was going. Still, he wasn't that shaken. Back when he was alive, he'd been an overworked corporate slave doing 996 every day. He was already fed up with the endless grind. Maybe being reborn as an animal wouldn't be so bad. If he got lucky, maybe he'd reincarnate as a panda and get a cushy government job.
But then the faceless man dropped a bomb:
"The more likely outcome is you'd reincarnate as a paramecium."
"...Huh?!" Hemu jolted in alarm, instantly sitting upright with a serious face.
"I choose transmigration."
"Very well. I have three transmigration targets for you to choose from. Their difficulty levels vary. Naturally, the harder the difficulty, the stronger the cheat we'll provide. But if you don't survive, well—you'll still end up as a paramecium."
"Go ahead."
"Here are your options:
A newly-appointed earl in a magical world.
A magical girl living in a tentacle cave.
An elven maid in a noble mansion."
"...Are you serious?" Hemu looked at the faceless figure in disbelief, pointing to his own face with a grim expression.
"Look at this—see this face? This is a man's face. And you're giving me two female character options? Are you serious? Don't tell me the first one is a countess, too."
"Of course not."
"Good. Then I'll take the first one."
"Are you sure? Once chosen, there's no going back."
"Obviously. I'm a real man—through and through."
Hemu made the choice without hesitation. No way would a seven-foot-tall man like him want to turn into a girl.
"Very well then."
The faceless man smacked his lips, seemingly a bit disappointed, but he didn't forget his duties. From under the table, he pulled out a cardboard box with the word "PRIZE" written on it in big letters. It looked exactly like the kind you'd see in a supermarket lucky draw.
"Dear transmigrator, please draw your cheat ability. As I said before, the harsher your chosen scenario, the stronger your cheat will be."
"That sounds fair". As Hemu reached into the box, he asked curiously, "So how difficult is my scenario?"
"It's the highest difficulty level."
"What? But what about the magical girl getting violated by tentacles?"
"Who told you magical girls must be violated by tentacles? Those tentacles are actually her pets."
"...So the elf maid too?"
"Correct. She's actually the noble's illegitimate daughter, and has a high chance of inheriting a title."
"And the guy I picked?"
"Ah yes, the new earl. His name is Hel Heim, the fourth child of Duke Mandrake. But due to certain circumstances, he was disowned by the Mandrake family and inherited his mother's family fief: the Heim Territory. By the way, after the death of your maternal grandfather—the Marquis Heim—none of the Heim heirs have lasted more than a year in power. The family's title has also been downgraded from marquis to earl. Also, your mother, the Heim princess who married into the Mandrake family, has passed away due to illness. So you're utterly alone. Congratulations, truly."
"Has anyone ever told you that you talk way too much?"
Hemu clenched his fists subconsciously, feeling a strong urge to punch that faceless face.
"Of course, you wouldn't be the first to say that. Feel free to try punching me—I'll let you see what it means to punch... cotton. After all, I don't feel pain."
Listening to his irritating tone, Hemu restrained himself and let it go.
"So what's my cheat, then?"
"Congratulations, you've drawn the grand prize: Universal Entry Extraction, Fusion, and Evolution Mini-Program. Of course, you may simply call it the Tag Plunder System."
The faceless man took the little note Hemu had drawn and looked genuinely surprised. A cheat of this level hadn't appeared in a long time.
"So… what can it do?"
"Oh, quite a lot. You can scan anyone's attributes and tag data at any time. Any living being you come into physical contact with—you can extract or copy tags from them, as long as their power level is within your capability range. As for inanimate objects—you can plunder all their tags at no cost."
"Cost?"
"Correct. For both extraction and copying, you need to spend energy points 10 points lets you extract from someone 1 tier above you 100 points for 2 tiers. And so on. You regenerate 1 energy point per day."
"Not bad, sounds pretty fun." Hemu nodded in acceptance of the system.
"Of course, that's not all. The system has many other functions waiting for you to discover. But first—you must survive your current crisis."
As soon as those words dropped, Hemu felt his vision go black, and memories of Hel Heim's brief life flashed through his mind.
[Congratulations: Transmigrator has bound to the Tag Plunder System][Reward: Newbie Gift Pack — Unlimited Plunder x3][New Skills Unlocked: Tag Scan, Tag Plunder, Tag Copy, Tag Pickup][Please make good use of your cheat to survive your current ordeal]
"Heh... crisis? Just some dumb noble family political drama. He's a transmigrator with a cheat—how could he lose to a bunch of medieval NPCs?"
Since he, Hemu, had transmigrated, he would live his second life well—if only to avoid becoming a paramecium. In fact, on this fantasy continent filled with magic, how corrupt could an earl's life get? Should he have a harem of beast‑eared loli maids? Or maybe elf loli maids? The thought was kind of exciting.
From now on—he was Hel Heim.
So thinking, Hel slowly opened his eyes.
But instead of the warm bed and gentle maid from the original memories, what greeted him was a dark, damp dungeon. The stench of blood and filth flooded his nose. His stomach churned, reminding him that this was real—not a dream.
"You're finally awake, little one~"
In front of Hel stood a pink‑haired girl in a gothic dress, slowly walking toward him. She wore no makeup, but exuded a mature and seductive aura. Even in the dim dungeon, her beauty was undeniable.
Even though bloodstains still marked her face.Even though her black gown was soaked in blood. Even though…She was holding a mutilated corpse in one hand.
She stepped elegantly in her blood-red high heels until she reached Hel. She looked down at his young face and gracefully crouched beside him.
Wearing black leather gloves, she gently lifted his chin with one hand.
"As expected of Mandrake blood... what a cute boy. Such an adorable face—just one lash and I bet you'll cry for hours.
Oh, right. I forgot to introduce myself. I am the Death Witch, Youming. You may call me Mistress… or Your Queen."
"Now then—Welcome to my hell. Please enjoy it to the fullest."