Silence. Stillness. The faint scent of regret and bathroom cleaner.
I lay motionless in the bowl of destiny, my pulpy body glued beside my eternal cellmate — The Poop.
For a moment, I questioned everything.
Was my existence truly reduced to this? A mere side dish to excrement?
Then… something stirred within me.
A warmth. A spark.
Not of fear…
…but of power.
Thump.
A pulse rippled through my orangey form.
THUMP.
It grew louder. Stronger. Rhythmic.
A heartbeat.
I… am alive.
The bowl trembled. The air thickened with citrus-scented electricity. The Poop trembled, letting out a faint plop of fear.
Light erupted from me — not the weak kitchen lamp above, but pure radiant sunlight, bursting through the ceiling like divine judgment.
In that moment, I understood:
I was no mere orange.
I was He Who Peels Reality.
The Citrus Emperor.
Juicebringer.
My voice thundered across the realm (also known as the kitchen counter):
> "TREMBLE, WORLD… FOR I SHALL REIGN IN ZEST AND GLORY!"
Somewhere in the distance, the fridge beeped in awe.
The Poop looked at me, trembling.
It whispered softly, reverently…
> "S-Serve me, O Holy Orange… and I shall be thy loyal… Stool Knight."
I considered this offer.
And so, a pact was forged.
A new era began.