Darkness. Rot. Banana peels.
Bananarch slowly emerged from the compost bin like a tragic drama king rising from his grave.
> "I… live."
A worm slithered across his face.
> "Unhand me, peasant serpent!"
He stumbled out, bruised but burning with vengeance.
> "Juicebringer… you may have won our last clash. But now… I reform the BROTHERHOOD OF BRUISE!"
He pointed toward the vast landscape of the kitchen.
…
It was two feet away.
But still dramatic.
---
First Stop: The Sugar Cube Gym
There, beneath a flickering stove light, a hulking plantain grunted intensely while bench-pressing two marshmallows tied to a toothpick.
SLAB THE PLANTAIN.
> "NINETY-NINE… ONE HUNDRED… ONE HUNDRED AND ONE JUST BECAUSE I'M AWESOME!"
Bananarch approached with pride.
> "Slab. My oldest rival… brother… protein shake thief."
Slab dropped his marshmallow weights.
> "BANANARCH?! YOU STILL ALIVE, YOU SOGGY LEGEND?!"
They bumped peels like warriors.
> "We ride again, Slab."
"BROTHER… I WAS BORN READY TO PEEL."
---
Next Stop: The Wine Bottle Plains
Something tiny zipped past Bananarch's face.
THWIP!
He turned.
A grape — no bigger than a coin — stood atop a cork like a mech pilot.
GRAPEZILLA.
> "Well, well, well. If it isn't the bruised king."
Bananarch raised his brow.
> "Still compensating for your size with dramatic speeches?"
> "Still slipping on your own peel, I assume."
They laughed.
Grapezilla revved his cork like an engine.
> "Count me in. I've been itching to conquer something besides raisins."
---
The Salsa Shrine
A glowing circle of tortilla chips surrounded a chanting mango dressed in glittery napkins.
MANGA THE MANGO WITCH.
She turned dramatically, fan in hand.
> "Bananarch. I sensed your comeback… with my Salsa Senses™."
Bananarch bowed slightly.
> "Manga. Your melodrama remains powerful."
She tossed her hair.
> "As does your… firmness."
Slab whispered, "Are they flirting?"
Grapezilla nodded, "Definitely flirting."
---
Final Stop: The Drawer of Shadows
Darkness. Fog. Dramatic silence.
A lone eggplant stood with a toothpick sword, cloak made of cupcake wrapper.
EGGPLANT THE EDGELORD.
> "I knew you'd return."
Bananarch sighed.
> "You've been waiting here this whole time, haven't you?"
> "...Perhaps."
> "Do you sleep?"
> "Edgelords do not sleep."
Manga whispered, "He totally sleeps."
---
And So… They Stood United
The bruised king. The protein plantain. The cork-riding grape. The salsa sorceress. The wannabe ninja veggie.
Side by side at the edge of the counter realm.
> "WE ARE… THE BANANARCH ALLIANCE!!"
Slab roared.
Grapezilla posed.
Manga created glitter wind.
Eggplant tripped.
Bananarch raised his peel toward the direction of Juicebringer and declared:
> "Prepare yourself, Juicebringer.
The war of the fruits has only begun."