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The Accidental Oracle of Zorynthia

R_Nocturne
28
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Synopsis
Eiji Sora was an ordinary office worker… until he died in the most ridiculous way imaginable—tripped over a banana while being attacked by a drone-driven pigeon. Reincarnated in the magical kingdom of Zorynthia, Eiji is branded as the Oracle of Misfortune, a prophet whose visions are always… technically correct, but catastrophically inconvenient. Every prophecy he utters backfires hilariously: predicting thieves that turn out to be royal cats, warning of dragons that appear in kitchens, or foretelling curses that turn out to be practical jokes by mischievous elementals. Despite his endless bad luck, Eiji’s accidental visions reveal hidden truths no one else can see—including the dark schemes of a mysterious guild that threatens the kingdom. Armed with a sarcastic elemental companion, an unusual knack for chaos, and zero sense of dignity, Eiji must bumble his way through magical mayhem, unravel conspiracies, and survive Zorynthia’s hilariously dangerous adventures. Will the kingdom be saved by the unluckiest oracle in history… or will his misfortune doom everyone?
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Chapter 1 - Death by Pigeon… and a Drone

Eiji Sora never thought that death would be so… embarrassing.

He was standing on the sidewalk, staring at his phone, trying to figure out if the coffee he just spilled on his shirt counted as a "life mistake." That was when it happened.

A drone, operated by a very enthusiastic teenager across the street, collided midair with a pigeon who apparently had a personal vendetta against Eiji. The bird flapped, the drone whirred, and Eiji—of course—tripped over the banana peel he had been foolishly carrying in his left hand.

It was… spectacular.

One second he was flailing in the air. The next, he was staring at… nothing.

"Wait, this isn't a white light? Am I—?" Eiji blinked.

"Nope!" a booming voice said. "Welcome to Zorynthia! You've been reincarnated as…"

Eiji felt a sudden weight on his head. A golden crown? A glowing staff? No, worse. Something heavy, sticky, and suspiciously squishy.

"You are now… the Oracle of Misfortune!" the voice declared. "Destined to see the truths others cannot… and to cause absolutely catastrophic luck while doing it!"

Eiji's first thought: What does that even mean?

His second thought: Why is something wet sticking to my head?

Before he could process, a small flame hovered in front of him, blinking.

"Hi. I'm Pyra. Your sarcastic elemental companion," it said. "And yes, your head is now officially covered in bird droppings. Congratulations."

Eiji groaned. "I… I died? And I got a talking fireball and bird poop as my inheritance?"

Pyra blinked. "Inheritance? No, that's your curse. Enjoy!"

Then, a scroll appeared out of nowhere, floating in midair. Eiji grabbed it. Words shimmered on the parchment:

"A prophecy: The one with the unluckiest soul will prevent the Shadow Guild from… wait, no. Drop the scroll!"

The scroll slapped him across the face, leaving a smoky smell. Eiji coughed. "I… I think I can do this?"

And just like that, Eiji Sora's life—or whatever it was now—started in Zorynthia, a kingdom filled with magic, mystery, and absolutely zero respect for his dignity.

Little did he know: his accidental visions were about to start revealing secrets no one else could see… and causing chaos everywhere in the process.