— — — — — —
Kazuma studied Makarov's stunned face and sighed inwardly. The old man really was getting on in years. His reaction speed just wasn't what it used to be.
"Ahem... Master, I've got more than just the first point. With these alone, the Magic Council is in for a world of hurt."
"Second, everything Jose did is textbook dark guild behavior. Hitting him back is perfectly justified."
"Third, he's clearly been doing this kind of thing for years, and the Magic Council somehow never noticed. That's negligence. At best."
"At worst, they're covering for him. I'd bet someone in there has been pocketing Jose's bribes."
"Old man, use your unbeatable network. Call up the other guilds. No need to sit around waiting for the Council to summon us. We march straight to them."
"When the time comes, we take the whole crowd with us and just topple the Council outright."
"Why should kings and nobles get all the power? I've been itching to do this for ages, and this time we're making sure the Council pays. When they're gone, we take their place and unite all of Fiore's magic world under us!"
He got so fired up he needed to smash something, looked around, grabbed a stone and crushed it with one slap.
"Wait, hold on. I'm old, my brain needs a second. Let me think."
Makarov had been completely blindsided. His mind short-circuited, leaving him staring into space for a long moment.
"No, wait! What was that last part?! What do you mean you've been planning to overthrow the Council? When did you start having ideas that dangerous?!"
"And don't talk like I've got some kind of god-tier network. You think the Magic Council is something you can topple just because you feel like it?"
"Don't get any funny ideas."
Makarov's rebuttal was immediate.
"Relax. Worst case, we fight. Nothing to be afraid of."
Back then Kazuma might've hesitated around the Council's force, but now? Avoid them? Please. They should be the ones avoiding him.
"Alright, that's enough. Stop fooling around. Let me handle this."
"I may be old, but I can still keep things together. You should head back, everyone's waiting. Oh, and that girl Juvia? I heard about her. Good kid. She can join our guild."
"I also heard she likes you, so treat her well."
Hands clasped behind his back, Makarov pretended he hadn't heard any of Kazuma's nonsense and wandered off on his own.
"You wait, old man. One day you're gonna retire, and when I take over, the first thing I'm doing is sending you to Black Bullet world! Let the lolis there teach you how to do things."
Kazuma tossed him the magic crystal with the recorded images and left even faster.
"I still don't understand half the words you're using, but retire? Sure, I'd love to live a peaceful, carefree life…"
Honestly, Makarov was kind of looking forward to retirement. A little farmland, a comfy lounge chair, tea every afternoon… tormenting his grandkids.
---
Finally, Kazuma and Makarov returned to the waiting guild members.
"Kazuma, you brat, that was one hell of a stunt! I always knew you weren't normal. So? How strong was the enemy?"
"Man, if I were ten years younger…"
"Oh shut it. Even if you were reborn as a baby and grew up again, you still wouldn't manage it."
"Mind your own business. Get lost."
"Wanna fight?"
And just like that, chaos erupted. When there's an enemy, they fight together. When there isn't one, they fight each other. Fairy Tail traditions.
"Kazuma… if you can't stand anymore, you can lean on me."
Erza watched him standing there like nothing happened. Even as a bystander, she felt drained just remembering the magic output from earlier.
How was the actual guy involved this completely fine? Was he faking?
She stepped forward, took his arm gently, and insisted he stop pushing himself and just collapse already.
"What? Do I look weak to you?" Kazuma felt seriously underestimated.
Erza looked in admiration, "When a beast is wounded, it puts on the fiercest face. I understand. You can fall now. We'll catch you. That's what comrades are for."
"So I have to lie down today? I can't go home unless I collapse or something?" Kazuma sighed.
Mira came over to hook onto his other arm, voice soft as a cloud. "I don't mind if you don't lie down. But Erza will feel awkward."
"She nearly drained her magic just watching you, and here you are, completely fine. It's gonna make her look bad."
Mira smiled sweetly, but it looked like she'd sprouted tiny devil horns and a swaying tail.
"Alright, fine. I'm totally exhausted... And seriously, that fight did make me hungry."
He wasn't lying about the last part. That punch had drained not just his magic but his stamina.
"I'll cook for you when we get back." Mira promised.
"Mira, can you also make a cake? I want a cream cake." Erza spoke in such a serious tone that if Kazuma hadn't heard the words, he'd have thought she was discussing a life-or-death mission.
"Cake is fine, but Erza… did you gain weight? Feels like you've got a bit of belly fat." Mira asked casually.
"Really?"
Erza poked her stomach, then poked Mira's, and with full sincerity said: "It's not mine. It's yours. I train every day. You haven't worked out in a while, right? Definitely some squish there."
"...!"
Dark aura spilled from Mira's head. They had never gotten along, and fights used to break out constantly.
Her temper had mellowed, but the rivalry was still there. Physical fights had just turned into psychological combat.
"Women, huh."
Kazuma shook his head and left them to it. They could handle their own battlefield.
He headed for Lucy and Juvia.
"Kazuma… I'm sorry…"
Lucy stared at everyone in the guild, then at him as he approached, her expression full of guilt.
All of this happened because of her. If it hadn't been for her, Kazuma wouldn't have needed to confront Jose. No one would've had to join this battle.
Lucy kept her head down, shoulders trembling. She might act carefree most of the time, but she was still a little girl at heart.
"You think a simple sorry is enough after all this? If you really feel guilty, then pay up. I basically soloed an entire guild today."
"And not some small guild. One Wizard Saint, four S-class mages, and the rest are at least on Natsu's or Gray's level."
"If this were a real mission, the reward would be at least a hundred million."
Kazuma ruffled her bowed head, smiling casually.
"A… a hundred million?! You might as well kill me!"
"You know what, fine, I'll pay with my body. Do whatever you want. I have no money, and I'm not giving you my life!"
Her sorrow evaporated instantly. One hundred million. Her family might cough up something like that… But she couldn't. She couldn't even afford her seven-thousand-rent apartment. A hundred million was impossible.
Lucy squeezed her eyes shut, chest puffed up in tragic resolve. Whatever happened happened. She was broke.
"Lucy." Kazuma reached out a hand.
Lucy let out a tiny squeak, but the touch wasn't on her chest like she expected… it was on her shoulder.
She opened her eyes, confused, only to see Kazuma giving her a look dripping with pity. She immediately felt offended.
"Lucy, you're giving yourself way too much credit. Even if I bought you outright, you'd be worth maybe a few hundred thousand. A million tops."
"You still owe me ninety-nine million."
It wasn't that Kazuma refused. It was that Lucy simply didn't match the listed price.
"What did you just say?!"
"I am Lucy Heartfilia. Daughter of the Heartfilia family. Sole heir. And you think I'm only worth a million?!"
"Who are you looking down on? Forget my status, just my looks alone are worth way more!"
Lucy was furious. Fine, call her weak, but don't you dare say she's not pretty. She was a genuine beauty straight from her mother's genetics: golden hair, white skin, slim waist, huge chest. Anyone would be dizzy looking at her.
"Sole heir? Rich?" Natsu popped up beside her. "Hmm... Lucy, if this counts as a job, then I deserve payment too. I'm not asking a lot. Just three hundred thousand. That's the discount."
"Happy only needs ten thousand. For fish. Friendship price." Happy added.
"Should I ask for some too? I only need five hundred thousand… no, one hundred thousand is fine. My armor broke again and I need a new set." Erza walked over.
"Little Lucy, they're all asking for big money. I only need ten thousand. Pay me in installments."
Mira smiled sweetly as she joined, and more and more guild members came over, listing their prices like a wholesale mob raid.
"You… all of you… uuuh… Master! Help! They're robbing me! Especially Kazuma! He's robbing me the worst!"
Lucy burst into tears, grabbing onto Makarov like a lifeline.
"Lucy, don't worry… you don't have to pay any of them," Makarov said in a gentle, grandpa-like tone.
"Master, you're the best!"
"Just pay me. I was terrified out of my mind today. And I am a Wizard Saint. And the guild master. You don't need to give much. Friendly discount. Ten million is fine."
"What??!"
Lucy collapsed flat on the floor as Makarov grinned like a mischievous grandpa.
All the members burst into laughter, and then Makarov patted the girl's head. "Just kidding… but Lucy, don't blame yourself. We helped because we wanted to. You didn't drag us into anything, kid."
"Hmm.. yeah, we chose to be here. After all, the guild is full of stubborn weirdos." Kazuma also patted her head and spoke gently.
"That's right, Lucy. Stop looking like someone stole your lunch. That dumb smile of yours suits you better."
"You're our partner. Of course we won't sit back and watch."
"And we were joking. You can't price friendship."
Everyone laughed as they spoke. And at this moment, the guild didn't feel like a metaphorical home. It was genuinely a home.
"This kid… Kazuma…"
Makarov looked at him and, for a moment, thought maybe this boy really was the best candidate for the next guild master.
"Everyone… thank you, really. I'll never forget your kindness. And you, Kazuma… when you said you wanted a hundred million just now, you looked so serious I thought you meant it."
Lucy cried again, but now the tears weren't from guilt or fear. She'd never felt this happy before.
"..."
"No, they were joking. But I wasn't."
"There's no such thing as a free lunch. Or breakfast. Or dinner, midnight snacks, or drinks."
"I helped. Which means you owe me. That's how mages survive. So you still need to pay. I won't rush you though. You can pay a little every month. Until you die."
Kazuma wasn't joking. Partners were partners, work was work. If you mix the two, you hurt the relationship or the wallet.
"Uwaaaaah!"
Lucy wailed again. She'd barely joined the guild and was already drowning in debt.
Fairy Tail was too cruel. Especially Kazuma. The cruellest of all.
"… So do I still get my fish? I don't need ten thousand. Just fish is good…" Happy fluttered closer, whispering hopefully.
Lucy saw him and cried even louder.
Kazuma let her cry and left her to it. He turned instead toward the girl standing alone in the distance.
"K-Kazuma…"
Juvia looked up as he approached, and when he took her hand, her face went red, steam rising from her head like a kettle.
People said women were made of water. In her case, it was literal.
"No need for thanks. The old man already said it. From today on, you're officially part of Fairy Tail. And stop waiting outside the guild for me like some abandoned puppy. Just sit inside and wait."
"We're going to see each other a lot from now on. So… how about going shopping tomorrow? My treat. Anything you buy, I'll cover it." Kazuma said.
"Yes! I'll go!" Juvia practically forgot she was injured. Her eyes sparkled.
A date. A real date. Her first with the boy she loved.
What should she wear? Which hat? Which umbrella? She couldn't wait.
Off to the side, Makarov watched with a pleased smile. The guild felt so warm today.
"Wait… they're all happy, but I still have to face the Magic Council next!"
"How am I supposed to explain all this? Don't tell me I'm going to get flattened by the Council…"
Makarov's expression collapsed. He burst into tears.
The world was beautiful. Lucy was saved, Juvia got a date, Kazuma beat a Wizard Saint and even made money.
Happy got fish. Everyone had a bright future.
...
Meanwhile, not far away, Mystogan arrived just as everyone started celebrating.
"Is it bad if I join now? Probably better to stay over here…"
He wasn't disliked. He just didn't want to disrupt the moment.
---
A few moments later—
"Big news. Huge news! Write this down…"
Yakoda feverishly scribbled notes, when someone tapped her shoulder.
"Not now, I'm working."
She didn't even turn her head.
The person sighed, grabbed her by the back of her collar, and lifted her clean off the ground. A shadow soldier in black armor.
They dragged her straight to Kazuma.
"Meow? Meow meow? I'm just a cute harmless little kitty…"
Yakoda tried to bluff her way out with pure shamelessness.
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