I had a childhood friend named Sui. Not actually mine. Her the girls, whom body i am in right now.
The first time i met her she kept talking about not giving up on life. So i ensured, maybe she did shared few of her mental stress and sorrow's with her. She is pretty, tall, calm and so understandable.
She lives few buildings far away. As far i hit the memory of the girls, she was her neighbor and they met maybe at their age of five. Her talking style and expressing feeling's, sharing methods are insanely close, no doubt they are best friends too. But since i came here the friendship became pretty distant, created by my attitude i guess. Still i acted all like busy or tired or family quarrels as excuses. She have countless friends too, pretty independent. And her braveness made me get to close to her.
She comes often to meet me at home also i only go to their home as friends. I never hanged out with friends or travelled through since i came. actually i never made friends. But when our home position turned into fire, she also came sharing her stresses with me. She really have a huge dream of becoming successful and study hard. She also applied for few country scholarship but her family never let her leave from this country. Though her life's only troublemaker is also her dad. Like seriously male human's stinks more.
She is her families elder child. Sure she is the depressed one there. She is also top student of her class, So hardworking. I sometime feel so bad, she really don't deserve that much pain. Her family gotten in more worse state. Her parents already about to getting divorce. Her face and struggles all just kept popping at her face. She often wanted to meet me. We met sometime at sidewalk or park.
One day we met at a park. She looked so down. I couldn't say a thing but understood her mom is at hospital gotten heart attack of overstress. Honestly she is so damp though. She barely cries. After a while sitting silently for a moment she spoke,
Whenever i see your face i forgot everything. But when you started to behave, It feels like you're not my friend Charles.
I caught off guard. I acted pretty much like her though my sudden changes made people surprised. I said,
You know the experience changed me, made me careless, rude and cruel.
She chuckled,
Made you act like a man too? I know Charlotte were the all smiley, soft, cute girl who barely wore black. Her smiles were comforting. Now you're just playing with us.
I scratched my ear, remained silent.
Then she added shouting as her tears came up,
Give me back our Charles. Please act like before Charlotte. You changed so much. I don't want to lost my only best friend. You are the only one who can understand me. Don't scare me.
I patted her,
Sorry.
She spoke up,
But one thing makes me realize you're my Charles. Because you have the same eye. Which is not living, dead and always hides the pain.
I understood i need to act more like her. At least i got saved from a huff that she really didn't doubt or believed something really to find out the truth.
I looked down. I realized maybe I am opposite of her. But maybe our this match made god choose this body for me to live. Sure god give you that pain which you can bare and keep living on.
I remained all silent the whole way, almost drowned in thoughts and memory.
As i reached home I again looked at the mirror. This face is so cute to act that cold. Those eyes so innocent to live like dead, those lips are so soft to split curses. I am really using her bad way. Felt like I am falling for her. This body. I can't take opportunity of it. After all i am living someone else's home, someone else's life.
I sited down couldn't hold but cried again after a long time. Squeezed out pains, but those tears couldn't comfort me for all my pain. Even a high liquor cant also make me forget my all those pains, fetch out them to get rid of.
Pathetic.