My health became pretty nauseous day by day. But i ignored. I was already drowned in thoughts on those days. Don't have any interest about paying attention in health. Last time Sui's words still left me in a pang of disappointment about myself.
I made myself grounded at home. Couldn't allowed myself to meet anyone. My heart was still aching, How can i find him. How can I? My soul now trapped. Even don't know what might be happen to my soul after this body dies. I became more careless more like dead now. The family became pretty worried too. But they never let me be as mine. Always yelling at me, but i have enough thing's to cry or mad for. Just a little humiliation and insult can't effect me anymore.
I gone out after a long time. The family also now gave me the permission for going out, but I myself now don't give myself access. I was at nearest park all alone, bought a cigarette. Tried to lit up for a smoke to relax but then I tossed it up.
The thought of, this body is not mine. This pureblooded girl's blood will no longer be pure just because of my selfishness. I sited under a big tree. Closed my eyes felt the wind. I felt so relaxed. Sure nature is the best stress reliefer. I spread my hands and buried myself into grasses, so carefree. Like connected with the nature. Earth is indeed beautiful Every inch of it is beautiful.
Suddenly someone coughed and said,
Miss, The ants are surrounding you're legs, might slip inside you're organs.
I surprisedly opened my eyes. A young boy maybe around twenties looking at me, leaning down. I sited up instant and seen heinous ants are really around my leg. I backed of started to slapping my pant and stood up.
He stood beside me, chuckling.
I scratched my ear,
Thanks.
As I started to leave, he started to following me. I started to walking fast then he ran to catch me. I started to run too.
Hey, Stop bothering me.
Then i stopped, breathing heavily.
Stop, I have heart problem. I cant... run anymore.
He let out a soft chuckle, Huffing.
Sorry, just wanted to make you run a bit. Running makes people relax.
Thanks enough. I don't need you're concern.
He shaked head,
So the rebellious one, I see.
I started to walking forward ignoring him.
Then he shouted,
At least tell me you're name, feisty one.
I showed him the middle finger from back and rushed out to street.
After I left the park, I started to walk slowly. Crossing the footpath.
Again he showed up, with a black Mercedes Benz kept horning.
Miss feisty, I come here every afternoon. Don't forget me. I am always here for you.
I completely ignored him and pulled my hoodie, to cover my sight.
I know boy's like him just want to get attention. And despite his clothe and the car he is a rich men's son. Just a spoiled brat flexing with his dad's money to flirt with any girls.
I reached to the home and started to continue living like before. Really today's going out helped me a lot. But that boy was annoying. Anyways i never stepped there after that day. Never even walked close from that park.
I started to act like her, more good, more smiles, more kind. Understood i have to move on. I have to live and gather the courage and strength just to wait for him. For my Xiao Lin.