The voice cut through the wind, sharp and pained, rising from the disturbed snowdrift.
Bai Ming, who had just spectacularly dispatched the swarm of [Everwinter Shadewalkers]; March 7th, who was diligently capturing said spectacle with her camera; and even the ever-observant Dan Heng—they all heard it.
Bai Ming's triumphant adrenaline instantly curdled into cold dread.
Monsters were one thing. A clean, simple problem. But hitting a person? That was trouble. And if it was some frail elder... that was a catastrophe! She could bankrupt herself and still not cover the medical bills!
At that point...the only option would be crawling back to the space station to beg the heiress Asta for a bailout! She'd help me, right...?
"Bai Ming!" March hooked her camera back onto her belt and rushed to her side. "What did you hit?!"
"I... I don't know..." Bai Ming turned to her, her golden eyes wide with alarm. "QAQ March, did I just start an interstellar incident?!"
"Eh, well..." March floundered, her own mind racing to the same terrifying conclusion: compensation! "Um, it should be fine! I think... Himeko would help cover it! And if not, Mr. Yang definitely wouldn't just stand by and watch!"
"Hearing that makes me feel even more doomed..."
"...You might be right."
In stark, almost insulting contrast to the duo's spiraling panic, Dan Heng remained a pillar of calm. His voice, when it came, was measured and logical.
"You two, there's no need to leap straight to calculating reparations. Isn't it rather... peculiar for someone to be concealed within a snowdrift in this environment?"
His words sliced through their hysteria like one of Bai Ming's energy blades.
"Oh, right!" March snapped back to reality, her eyes narrowing. "On a day like this, hiding under a pile of snow in the middle of nowhere...what's the play here?! Trying to run a scam on us?!"
"Ehh—!" Bai Ming's fear evaporated, replaced by indignant outrage. "So malicious! Planting yourself right in the path of my ultimate move?! That's premeditated fraud!"
In the blink of an eye, the remorseful pair transformed into a righteous anti-fraud squad.
"March, let's go! Apprehend that con artist!"
"Mmhm! My thoughts exactly!"
Watching them charge off toward the source of the cry, Dan Heng released a soft, long-suffering sigh and followed.
Bai Ming reached the disturbed snow first. March, close on her heels, collided squarely with her back.
"Hey! What's with the sudden stop?!" March complained, rubbing her nose.
"March—" Bai Ming grabbed her hand and pulled her to her side, pointing. "Look over there. Isn't that a person?"
Following her finger, March peered through the veils of snow. Indeed, a figure was slumped there, half-buried. The flurries obscured details, but they could make out the person clutching their arm.
"There really is someone! Was that cry from them?!" March breathed.
"That settles it!" Bai Ming cracked her knuckles, the sound ominous in the cold air. "Time for a citizen's arrest!"
They strode forward. The figure resolved into a blue-haired man with a solid, athletic build. He wore a set of practical armor, not overly thick but strategically lined with animal fur for insulation. It was the attire of someone who valued mobility and warmth over ostentation.
"Hey, you!" March called out, hands on her hips as she planted herself behind him. "Were you trying to pull an insurance scam on our Bai Ming?!"
The man flinched, startled. He twisted to look at March, offering a placating, salesman-like smile even as he subtly tried to scoot backward. His entire demeanor screamed suspicious.
Abruptly— "Lovely to meet you, ladies! Let's do this again sometime!" He spun on his heel with surprising agility, clearly about to make a break for it.
He never expected that the moment he turned, the business end of a baseball bat would be waiting, inches from his nose. Bai Ming held it steady, her beautiful but currently steely golden eyes locked on his.
"Hey. Where do you think you're going?" Her voice was low and dangerous. "Our March asked you a question."
An intangible, thuggish aura radiated from her. She looked every bit like hired muscle—March 7th's personal enforcer.
Seeing escape was futile, the blue-haired man spread his hands in a gesture of exaggerated helplessness. "I say, friend, is that really necessary? Brandishing a weapon upon first meeting isn't exactly the pinnacle of etiquette."
"But you were trying to scam Bai Ming!" March jabbed a finger at him, pressing the attack.
"Scam Bai Ming?" The man looked genuinely baffled. "Who's Bai Ming?"
"Me!" Bai Ming raised her free hand. "You deliberately laid there to get hit by my attack so you could extort us, right?!"
"Attack?!" A tiny vein twitched near the man's temple. He muttered under his breath, "So it was you two..."
"What?!" Bai Ming leaned in, her voice dropping to a growl. "What did you just say?!"
"N-nothing!" The man waved his hands dismissively, the salesman's smile plastered back on. "I was just saying, ladies, what an incredible coincidence, right?!" He gestured between them. "She just happened to swing her... implement. And I just happened to be taking a breather here. Our paths crossed perfectly! If this isn't fate, I don't know what is! Hahahaha, wouldn't you agree?"
His attempt at jovial camaraderie did nothing to win over Bai Ming and March. But their initial aggression also cooled slightly. After all... they had technically assaulted him.
Seeing his friendly approach fall flat, the man—Sampo Koski, as he would soon introduce himself—thought for a moment before trying another tactic. "Um... might I ask if Commander Gepard has arrived yet? I'm actually quite close with him!"
"Close?" March eyed him skeptically.
"Yes indeed! We see each other often, exchange pleasantries... the whole bit!"
"But we don't know anyone named Gepard," Bai Ming stated flatly. "And who are you, anyway?"
At this, a flicker of exasperation crossed Sampo's face before he expertly smoothed it over. He spread his hands in a theatrical gesture of surrender. "Ohhh... so you're not with the Silvermane Guards? You should've led with that! This is all a big misunderstanding! Greetings, I'm Sampo Koski. A pleasure."
"Sampo... Koski?" Bai Ming murmured, a distant memory tickling her mind. "He's not called Sampo Cú Chulainn..."
"Huh? Koo-hoo-what-now?"
"Nothing! Never mind!"
"..." Sampo's brow furrowed for a split second before his smile returned, undimmed. "Alright then! Since fate has brought us together, feel free to ask me anything! If I know it, I'll be an open book!" He winked. "Consider it a complimentary service for new customers."
No compensation demand, and a potential informant? Bai Ming and March exchanged a glance and gave a synchronized nod.
March took point. "Where's the nearest settlement?"
"Settlement?" Sampo crossed his arms, adopting a slightly patronizing tone. "Why so formal? You just mean 'where the people are.'" He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "That way, across the snowfields, lies our beloved Belobog. Life behind those walls is as sweet as it gets out here."
"Belobog? What's that?" Bai Ming pressed.
"You really don't know?" Sampo's lips pursed in mild disbelief. "'The City of Preservation,' 'The Everwlasting Citadel,' humanity's sole fortress against the Eternal Freeze.' If people want to keep breathing, they huddle behind that iron wall."
"Hopefully there aren't people there who cut the backs of necks..."
"Huh? Come again?" Sampo looked at Bai Ming with deepening confusion. This one's been spouting nonsense since the start. Everything's a coded message with her.
"Then why are you out here?" March resumed the interrogation. "If humans can only survive in Belobog, what's your excuse? Unless... you're not human?"
"Let's not jump to revoking my species membership just yet," Sampo replied dryly. "I'm just a humble relic hunter, out here looking for old-world trinkets to trade for a bit of spending money. Funny story, I hadn't even been out an hour before I got acquainted with your friend's... enthusiasm. If that's not fate smiling, I don't know what is."
"There are relics here?!" Bai Ming's eyes lit up with surprise. "It's all just snow!"
"No, relics are likely," Dan Heng's voice interjected as he joined them. His gaze swept the landscape. "You ran ahead too quickly. You might not have noticed the structures on either side of what we're walking on. Those are rooftops."
"Rooftops?!" March stared down at the snow-packed ground beneath her boots. "We're standing at rooftop height?! How long has it been snowing?!"
"A very, very long time," Dan Heng stated impassively. "Likely longer than the historical records suggest. The presence of relics is hardly surprising."
"Exactly, exactly!" Sampo seized on the support, nodding vigorously. "This gentleman gets it! Centuries of snowfall, all sorts of treasures buried underneath. Can't fault a man for trying to make an honest—or semi-honest—living, right?"
"So, the Silvermane Guards?" Bai Ming tossed out another question.
"Tsk... do you genuinely not know, or are you testing me?" Sampo squinted at them, his merchant's instinct for sizing people up kicking in. "Ah, never mind. You all have that 'fresh-off-the-starship' look about you. I'll spell it out. The Silvermane Guards are Belobog's army. They're also the law, the police, the whole stern package. They love rounding up folks in my... line of work to pad their arrest quotas..." He trailed off, realizing he might have said too much.
Bai Ming wasn't about to let him off the hook. She raised the baseball bat again, not quite pointing it, but letting its presence speak volumes. "Keep talking. Otherwise, my gratitude might wear thin."
"Alright, alright! That's all there is!" Sampo adopted an exaggerated 'what-can-you-do' shrug. "Even if you threaten me with that sporting equipment, I've got no more secrets to spill."
Seeing him play the defeated card, March hesitated, then laid out their demand. "Fine. In that case, take us into Belobog."
"Into the city?!" Sampo's faux-casual demeanor cracked, replaced by genuine alarm. "Now? That's impossible! I just got out here today, haven't found a single thing. I can't just turn around and play tour guide! Unless—" His eyes slid over the trio, lingering meaningfully. The implication was clear: Payment required. No money, no guide.
He seemed to have forgotten a crucial fact: the prerequisite for extorting benefits from others is that they cannot easily retaliate.
"You want to charge our March?" Bai Ming said, her voice deceptively light as she tapped the bat against her palm. The unspoken threat hung in the frozen air: Try it. See what happens.
This is worse than getting scammed by scammers! Sampo lamented internally. Why did I have to run into two female hooligans the moment I step outside?
Dan Heng chose that moment to interject with a voice of reason. "A proposal. We require a guide. You require compensation. To satisfy both needs simultaneously, there is only one equitable solution." He fixed his calm gaze on Sampo. "You guide us, and we pay you a fair fee. However, if you attempt to inflate the price..." He glanced at Bai Ming, who very obligingly bared her teeth in a grin that was all menace and no mirth. "...my companion here has been known to express her displeasure... physically."
"Grrr~!" Bai Ming growled on cue, looking fully prepared to follow through.
Faced with this "fair deal" backed by the very real threat of a bat and teeth, Sampo's tune changed instantly. "Well, business has been a bit slow lately, it's true. But, you know—I've had a warm heart since I was a boy. Helping others is my greatest joy! Alright! Since you wish to enter the city..." Sampo stretched, a sly, calculating smile finally creeping back onto his face. It was the look of a man who had just thought of a way to turn this inconvenience to his advantage. "...I, Sampo Koski, will graciously accept the task and guide you. For a reasonable fee, of course. As long as you're... willing to play along."
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A/n: Hey over on my patreon there are currently two for the time being exclusive books which are
Zenless Zone Zero: Loving Daily Life Starting in New Eridu
Honkai Impact 3rd, I Can Transform into a Valkyrie!
patreon.com/deadlygoober