[Inside Strawberry Dream, an event never before seen by human eyes is about to unfold]
Night had finally fallen. The moon was full, the sky starry, and Jake, Kairus, and Hikari were in the bakery's courtyard.
Jake and Kairus were completely worn out, as if they'd just crawled out of a death match. Beaten, filthy, and with their dignity hanging by a thread.
The dark mage, covered in dirt, raised his arms, brought them to his shoulder, positioned them one behind the other as if holding something invisible, and shouted:
—This!... This will be my final attack! Die, knight! Haaa!
Kairus, equally battered, crouched down, pushed off, and shot forward like a rocket toward Jake.
—I won't let you, Jake! Take this!— he yelled, throwing a punch straight at Jake's face.
In the distance, the only person who didn't look like they'd just escaped from an asylum… or prison, Hikari, watched them with total disappointment, as if she had already seen everything life could offer.
—Can someone tell me...— she said, clenching her fists —How the hell did we end up in this situation!?
°°°
[30 minutes earlier, inside the bakery]
—Alright, then if you'd be so kind, tell us what you came up with— said Jake, scratching his head in confusion.
—Well, it turns out we actually have an empty, completely available space— replied the girl enthusiastically, for even though her idea was probably the most macabre thing a human could imagine, she was having the time of her life.
—Oh, really?— asked Kairus, incredulous.
—Mhm! In fact, I'll even show you where.
The girl pointed toward the bakery's backyard. There, in the corner, stood a medium-sized white doghouse with a red roof. A human could fit inside... as long as they had maxed-out dexterity and contortionist stats.
—Ta-da!— she said, gesturing with both hands toward the doghouse —I present to you the most comfortable doghouse in all of Yokohama!
The two of them looked at the yard in utter confusion, and indeed, there it was — the doghouse, inviting them to sleep peacefully outdoors under the night sky and on the grass.
—Wait! What are you trying to tell us...?— asked Kairus, more confused than ever.
—Well, as you can see, technically the doghouse is like a room. Actually, I don't see any difference at all, hehe...— said Hikari with a devilish little laugh that, at its best, could even dethrone Jake as Dark Lord.
—That's insane, I'm outta here!— shouted Kairus, quickly backing away from the window.
Before he could move, a hand landed on his shoulder and gripped him, stopping his escape.
—Sorry, buddy, but... it's your turn— said Jake, giving him a thumbs-up and a playful wink —But hey! Don't worry. I'll make sure to feed you, brush you, take you for walks in the park, and bring you water every day if you behave.
The knight crushed the Dark Lord's hand with such strength that Jake dropped to his knees in pain.
—You wish, you bastard! Weren't you the one who could turn into a dog?
—Ow ow ow, that hurts, damn it...— cried Jake, tears streaming from the excruciating pain.
—Then stay in the damn doghouse!
—No way! Say what you want, but if I'm gonna be a dog, I'll be one with principles!
Jake struggled until he broke free from the knight's brutal grip. He shook his hand and blew on it several times.
—Phew... Damn, man, relax a little. I'll bring you some water, okay?
—If you're planning something shady, you'd better not even try— said the knight, cracking his knuckles in warning.
—Me? Impossible!
Immediately, the dark mage ran into the kitchen and came back with something in his hands.
—Here, drink up.
Jake had brought the water in a peculiar container — it was blue, with a white paw print on the front, and shaped like a small basin. Indeed, it was a dog bowl.
Kairus slapped the bowl to the floor with his open hand. Then, grabbing Jake by the collar, he lifted him off the ground. His fury was uncontrollable — Jake had finally pushed him too far.
—Listen to me, you half-unwound wire! If you don't get in that doghouse, I swear on my honor that—
Before he could finish, Hikari clapped her hands, interrupting them.
—Guys, hold it right there— she coughed briefly —What if you solve this with a game?— she said, smiling.
—A game?— they both said in unison.
—Exactly!
Hikari grabbed a sheet of paper from the counter and wrote something on it with a black marker.
—The game will be...— she paused dramatically and then turned the sheet toward them —Rock, paper, scissors!
—Rock, paper, scissors...?— asked Kairus, completely clueless about what she meant.
—Wow... Seriously, you don't know it?— said Hikari, stunned to learn that Kairus didn't know probably the most iconic game in human history.
The knight went silent for a moment, burning through all his brain cells to recall what kind of games they played in his world. After much effort, he placed his fist over his open palm.
—Oh, I remember a similar game!— he said, smoke practically coming from his head from all the thinking —The rules were simple: you grabbed some random heretic, locked them in stocks while still conscious, tied their mouth shut, and threw rocks at them. Whoever had the best aim won. I never played, but the kids in my village said it was a lot of fun.
Hikari looked at him with a completely horrified expression. At first, she'd been curious about what kinds of games they played in Nocturne, but after hearing that blatant human-rights violation, she decided not to dig deeper.
—R-right, very interesting, but— she said with an awkward smile as a drop of sweat ran down her forehead —This game is a little more... legal.
—Don't worry, I get it— said Jake, stroking his chin thoughtfully —It's an improved version! I expected nothing less from this world. Now you can not only throw rocks, but also defend and counterattack using scissors and paper as sword and shield!
Hikari stared up at the starry sky, her face that of someone whose childhood had just been destroyed. She was in the midst of an existential crisis, unable to imagine the kind of trauma these two had lived through to so completely distort the rules of a simple children's game.
—M-maybe I should just teach you how to play— she said nervously, trying to prevent an all-out brawl between the two beasts.
She then proceeded to explain the rules of rock-paper-scissors to the knight and the dark mage. Jake understood right away, but Kairus had to be taught like a first grader, with cute little drawings and diagrams.
—I think... that's all...— said Hikari wearily —I knew Kairus was dumb, but underestimating his stupidity could have serious consequences. Dear God!
As she said the last line, Hikari noticed Jake collapse to the floor and start convulsing violently.
—Oh... I forgot you were the Dark Lord! Sorry, Jake! Ehe~— said Hikari, tapping her head lightly.
Jake, still convulsing and foaming at the mouth, weakly gave a thumbs-up.
Ten minutes later, the group was outside in the courtyard, ready to begin the game. Hikari clapped her hands to get their attention.
—It's time to start! Best two out of three, got it?
—Got it!— they both shouted.
—In 3, 2, 1, go!
[Rock! Paper! or Scissors!]
—Paper!— yelled Kairus.
—Rock!— replied Jake.
—Aha— said Kairus, proud.
—Damn it, again!— muttered Jake, clenching his fists.
[Rock! Paper! or Scissors!]
—Rock!— shouted Jake.
—Scissors!— replied Kairus.
It was a tie. The tension was thick in the air — the next and final round would decide the loser's fate.
—Who will be the winner?— exclaimed Hikari excitedly; she seemed to be enjoying the game quite a bit.
—Damn it... I have to win no matter what— muttered Jake, biting his lip in frustration. After thinking it over, an idea struck him —Oh, I've got it!
—Ready for the final round, guys?— asked Hikari, like the host of the biggest rock-paper-scissors tournament in town.
—Ready!— they both exclaimed.
—In 3, 2, 1—
[Rock! Paper! or Scissors!]
—Rock!— shouted Kairus.
—Heh heh...— laughed Jake, raising two fingers —but not scissors this time. He was holding up his thumb and index finger.
—Semi-automatic machine gun!— declared the dark mage with a wicked grin on his face.
The knight froze for a second and stepped back, uncertain.
—Wait, what... What kind of move is that!? What the hell is a semi-automatic machine gun!?— he asked, astonished.
—Hahaha, you'll see! Time to eat lead!— shouted Jake, grinning like a maniac.
The Dark Lord began moving his fingers rapidly up and down, as if firing invisible bullets.
—Shit, shit, I completely underestimated his power!— exclaimed the knight, running around the courtyard, dodging the imaginary bullets. Then, after a brief moment, time seemed to slow, and he stopped abruptly, placing his hands one over the other as if holding an invisible sword —There's no other choice... I must counterattack!
The knight began swinging his invisible sword with incredible skill, trying to deflect the Dark Lord's shots.
Hikari said nothing. She just stood there in the distance, watching the scene in utter disappointment. She was witnessing two full-grown schizophrenics engaged in a death match in the middle of a bakery courtyard with nonexistent weapons. Now, she truly had seen everything.
However, as the knight repelled the bullets, one managed to graze his shoulder, tearing a piece of his clothing.
—You've got to be kidding me! How is that even possible!?— shouted Hikari, collapsing to the ground —Is this... the power of imagination!?
The knight raised his invisible sword; it looked like he was charging the final attack that would end it all. Energy gathered in his hands, and he brought them down with force, unleashing a shockwave aimed straight at Jake.
Jake tried to dodge by leaping to the side, but it was no use — the attack hit him head-on, sending him flying backward.
Staggering to his feet, the dark mage, covered in dirt, raised his arms, positioning them as if holding a bazooka, and yelled:
—This!... This will be my final attack! Die, knight! Haaa!
Kairus, equally battered, crouched down, pushed off, and shot forward like a rocket toward Jake.
—I won't let you, Jake! Take this!— he shouted, throwing a punch straight at the mage's face.
—Huh? He's gonna hit me?— Jake thought in the split second before impact —Then I'll just block it.
Jake quickly raised his hand to protect his chin from Kairus's punch. But as he looked down, he noticed Kairus smiling.
—Fool! You've fallen into my trap!— shouted Kairus, quickly shaping his hand into scissors —Behold the ultimate submission technique of the Knight Legion! Rock, Paper, or...
A white energy burst from Kairus's hand; the strike was charged with all his fury.
—Scissors!— he yelled, driving his two fingers meteoric-fast into Jake's nostrils. The penetration was so deep it knocked him out instantly.
The dark mage collapsed to the ground, completely unconscious and utterly violated. Beside him, Kairus knelt, panting heavily.
—Ha... ha... That was... a tough battle— he said, raising his eyes toward the starry sky as a shooting star passed overhead. He had won the fight.
Hikari stood watching their drama with a face worthy of framing. She looked like a rag doll whose face had been drawn by a child — too many emotions in one day had broken her.
....I think I'd better go take a bath— she muttered, walking back into the bakery.
----End of Chapter ---