The sunset fell over the Yokohama district. Inside the Strawberry Dream pastry shop, the Dark Lord, Kairus, and Hikari were gathered, facing a problem bigger than the recent drop in sales the shop had suffered.
Kairus was leaning against the counter with a nervous expression. He ruffled his hair desperately, as if using every single neuron in his brain.
—Guys, I've been thinking a lot and…
The knight leaned back, looked at the ceiling, and opened his arms dramatically.
—Where the hell are we supposed to spend the night, the two of us?! —he shouted, making the entire shop shake.
He lowered his gaze to Jake. Suddenly, he frowned thoughtfully, as if Socrates himself had given him a thumbs-up and enlightened him with the gift of wisdom.
—Wait, Jake... since when do you have ears again?
Jake looked at him incredulously.
—Are you kidding me?! I've had them since we changed clothes!
—Oh…
Kairus blinked, approached slowly, and stared at the ears as if they were a phenomenon to be studied.
—Seriously?! —Kairus shouted, astonished.
—This level of distraction… it's over nine thousand! —Hikari muttered to herself, putting a hand on her head and dramatically breaking a macaron.
—Kairus, listen, I don't think you can be stupid enough not to realize that we can also understand and speak this new language perfectly, right? —Jake replied, frustrated, crossing his arms.
After that comment, Kairus didn't say a word, just stared at the Dark Lord while pointing at him with a face of extreme surprise. His jaw was so dropped it looked like the latch of an old car.
—Haha, please, o-of course I knew.
Jake looked at him with the eyes of someone who had lost faith in humanity… for the second time.
—Do you think I spent all the mana reserves before talking to the cop, you animal!? —the Dark Mage exploded in complete exaltation, realizing his companion had a monkey with two cymbals instead of a brain.
Jake coughed briefly. He took out some glasses and put them on slowly, just to add more seriousness to his speech.
—Ahem… anyway —he began in a deep voice, raising a finger— As Kairus said, we now have a pretty urgent problem: finding somewhere to sleep tonight. For that, I need your attention for a minute. I've read several books about this world before holding this meeting, researched this country, this city… analyzed market demand, demographic profiles, consumption patterns, neighborhood competition, potential and future mishaps and… Are you even listening to me?
The mage paused to look at Kairus and Hikari for a second. He noticed both of them were steaming from their heads, their eyes spinning in spirals—too much information had caused a neuronal overload, frying their brains completely.
—Demo profiles… what? —Kairus muttered, wobbling on the counter.
—Agh, why do I feel like I just read five volumes of economics in under ten minutes? —Hikari said, her eyes spinning like a top.
The mage blinked once, twice, three times, and sighed.
—Ach, what I mean is that with the resources Kairus and I currently have —he said, clapping his hands— we have a viable option for sleeping.
—Really?! What is it, what is it?! —Kairus said, stars lighting up in his eyes with excitement.
The mage paused dramatically, as if about to declare the solution to the problem once and for all.
—That option is…
—Say it already! —Hikari exclaimed.
Jake quickly pointed to the entrance of Strawberry Dream.
—The street!
—Wow! The street… —Kairus repeated, nodding innocently. Then he froze completely, as if he had just bitten the hook of reality.
The room fell into absolute silence.
—Huh?! The street?! —exclaimed the knight, jaw on the floor.
—Yes, the street —Jake replied, convinced of his brilliant idea.
The knight rushed toward Jake so fast he left a trail behind him. He looked like a scene out of a horror movie, moving his head back and forth as if possessed by a demon. His face was completely pale and emaciated, his eyes bulging and piercing, devoid of any life or light. He muttered phrases that remain unknown to this day.
—Come on, relax, it's not as bad as it seems —Jake tried to console him, placing a hand on the knight's shoulder. Then he pulled a sheet of paper from his pocket and proudly showed it—¡Ta-da! I've already studied the best alleys in Yokohama to spend the night, from very reliable sources! Ha-ha-ha!
While Jake laughed maliciously, Kairus ran to Hikari, grabbed her hands, and begged for a miraculous solution.
—Hikari, please! Tell me there's at least one place available to sleep in this place! It doesn't even have to be a proper room.
Hikari showed an awkward smile and pulled her hands away. Then she adopted a posture of deep thought, which made her brain work faster than usual.
—Oh… now that you mention it, aside from my sister's room, I think the storage room would be a good place to spend the night. At least it has a roof and light.
—A thousand thanks! I swear my lifelong loyalty to you, my savior —Kairus said excitedly, kneeling in respect and placing a hand over his chest.
—No need for so much drama… —Hikari replied, uncomfortable seeing him transform into a stray dog begging for lodging.
Meanwhile, Jake drank water calmly. He sat cross-legged, took a dramatic sip, and raised his arm with an air of grandeur.
—If Kairus goes to the storage room, why don't you let me sleep in your sister's room?
Kairus stood up quickly, as if he had heard the greatest blasphemy ever spoken by a heretic.
—You! You damned blasphemer! How dare you even ask to sleep in the same room as a girl, are you crazy or what!?
—I don't see the problem! She's traveling right now anyway, and doesn't seem like she'll be back soon —Hikari said with a kind smile.
The knight froze upon hearing this comment. Something had died inside him—the purity of a girl's room being profaned by none other than Jake.
—It can't be true! I… no-no, I can't allow it —Kairus muttered, biting a finger with grime on it.
The Dark Mage let out a small sadistic laugh, as if witnessing a filthy worm crawling on the floor.
—Please Kairus, you wouldn't understand —Jake replied, glancing over the knight's shoulder— If you crawl enough, maybe I'll let you in and sleep on the floor! Ha-ha-ha! —he said, extending a hand toward Kairus, a divine glow appearing behind him as if the gods had liked his arrogant comment.
—I'll kill you—I'll kill you—I'll kill you —the knight whispered, biting his index finger until it bled. His eyes were wide as saucers, his expression that of someone struggling with murderous impulses.
—Guys, don't fight. Both of you can sleep there —Hikari said with a smile so sweet it could give diabetes.
—¡Seriously!? —Kairus and Jake shouted simultaneously, eyes sparkling.
—But… —Hikari continued. Her angelic smile began to twist into a sinister grin— first, you'll have to go through a little "ritual." Just for safety, jijiji.
Without warning, she pulled a knife from the counter and, with incredible precision, sliced a banana perfectly in half.
Jake and Kairus jumped and quickly placed a hand over their crotches, terrified of what could happen to their "bananas" if they accepted the ritual.
—¡V-okay! I get it! I'll stay in the storage room —the knight said, legs trembling like jelly during an earthquake.
—Why not just share the storage room already? —the girl replied, putting the knife back in its place.
They looked at each other slowly. Less than three seconds passed before both vomited dramatically onto the floor, as if a repulsive comment had passed through their ears, making their eardrums disconnect to avoid ever hearing such a thing again.
—¡Share a room with this oxygen waste?! ¡Impossible!
The Dark Mage mustered the last of his strength and stood, still wobbly. With a trembling hand, he pointed at Hikari and said:
—R-r-really, you don't have any other option besides the storage room or your sister's room?
The girl looked around the shop when suddenly something caught her attention. Her gaze turned into that of a potential yandere, and she let out a sadistic little smile.
—Jiji, yes, I do have a place in mind…
Hikari was looking at the shop's backyard, specifically toward the old doghouse of the shop.
[It seems the girl has something very macabre in mind]
---To be continued in Chapter 6---