In a haze of delusion, I couldn't distinguish between fantasy and reality, yet a huge wave of panic inexplicably surged in my heart, as if something was about to be lost. I ran forward recklessly, my whole fat body shaking. It severely limited my speed, leaving me winded after only a few steps.
I finally caught up to the train station—so many people, people everywhere.
I searched frantically, desperately looking around, panicking like a young deer lost in the woods. A tremendous fear enveloped me, leaving me horrified and distraught. I tried to ask people, but the vast stream of travelers marched on, and no one took pity on me. Instead, they all looked at me coldly, and no one answered my questions.
I was physically in the crowd, but I didn't belong to it.
"The DXXXX train bound for City A is stopping ticket checks. Passengers who have not boarded on time, please proceed to the service counter to request a refund or exchange."
The announcement on the loudspeaker seemed to remind me. I instinctively looked toward the boarding gate, and suddenly, the two figures I dreamed of appeared before me.
I snapped out of the trance, rushing toward the two figures regardless of anything else. I seemed to unleash unprecedented courage and strength, pushing past the security guard's obstruction and leaping over the turnstile, charging toward them.
"Mom!"
"Sister!"
I screamed and ran forward with all my might. At this moment, I felt exceptionally light, sensing no fatigue, and my speed was faster than ever. I surpassed everyone, with several security guards chasing me, but they couldn't keep up.
Finally, my shouting successfully caught the attention of the large and small figures, and they turned around. Tears welled up in my eyes. I was overcome with emotion. This feeling of having them back was far beyond what any movie or writing could convey. At this moment, I felt like the happiest person in the world.
I rushed forward to embrace them, wrapping an arm around each dreamlike figure, but the next moment, my arms fell into empty space. The surroundings abruptly darkened. Everything vanished, leaving only my sister, Mom, and me.
I looked up, but their faces were cold and expressionless. The delicate beauty I remembered as being incredibly gentle now conveyed only bone-deep coldness and ruthlessness. They were indistinct, like smoke over cold water and the moon over sand, seeming ready to float away at any moment.
The tall woman, solemn and cold like a goddess, let out a soft sigh, gracefully extending her arms. She simply floated up and drifted backward, taking the little angel beside her with her.
"Mom, no!" I roared, lunging forward and clinging desperately, but I only managed to grasp the corner of her clothing. I was frantic, running wildly forward. The path had become incredibly sharp and rugged. I ran barefoot on the thorny road; the sharp points pierced the soles of my feet, leaving a trail of blood, but I didn't stop. Flesh scattered, and even white bone was exposed.
The crimson blood bloomed all along the path. Wherever the blood splattered on the ground, small yellow flowers would bloom, then immediately wither, leaving behind a pathetic, cold pile of yellow petals. I yelled and screamed frantically at the two figures, but I found I couldn't make any sound. It was quiet, like the legendary Zero Domain, the dwelling place of souls where life and death vanish. Life and death, love and hate, time and space merged perfectly at this moment, everything was static, everything was nothingness, everything was meaningless, everything was too late, and everything was powerless.
I was bound in place by something. I struggled desperately, watching the two figures drift further and further away from me. I went crazy, hysterical, struggling recklessly, but when I accidentally looked down at my body, I was stunned, frozen, and silent.
Because at some point, my body had merged with the darkness behind me, my feet were fused with the night. I realized that what I was desperately struggling to escape was actually myself. But this restraint also came from me—how could I escape and conquer myself?
Yet, around my sister and mother, countless pairs of red eyes suddenly appeared, like demons, staring at them maliciously. I couldn't bear to see these two beautiful figures coveted by countless pairs of greedy eyes. I struggled desperately again, but could only tread water in place, while they continued to drift further and further away from me… further and further.
A low chuckle reached me, like the devil's whisper, a genuine mockery of me. I was utterly powerless, able only to watch them slip from my grasp.
"No!"
I let out a hysterical scream. The next moment, my soul suddenly lifted, the world spun, and the silent space was broken. I could finally make sound again. My mind was abruptly yanked back to reality, like someone whose head was in a basin of water and was suddenly pulled out by the hair—a terrible feeling. I truly woke up from that intensely real dream. I snapped my eyes open, lying on the sofa, panting heavily, my whole body shaking, like a drowning man thrashing in the mud. My eyes were blank as I stared up at the pristine white ceiling…
The light from the orange-yellow chandelier overhead diffused, casting a pale yellow veil over the floor, the sofa, and my body. Despite the warm light, I felt no warmth at all. I was shivering, as if I were in the Arctic. Sweat had completely soaked my clothes and a large section of the sofa blanket. I felt as if I had just been pulled out of the water.
I couldn't help but curl up and pull the blanket tightly around me.
The chandelier continued to glow. On the white ceiling, a few cute little hanging decorations caught my attention. These were small animals my adorable sister had made herself a long time ago. I had helped her, and Mom, watching us busy ourselves all morning, hadn't laughed or thrown them away. Instead, she had protected our little childhood whims and hung them on the ceiling. I never realized they had been kept for nearly ten years…
In the light, the decorations projected shadows onto the floor. Due to the angle, the shadows were long, enveloping me as I lay on the sofa, plunging me entirely into darkness.
"Cough… cough, cough, cough…"
I tried to say something, but the severe coughing was unstoppable, coming in rapid succession. Those first two coughs were only a warning. The subsequent explosive bursts made me truly uncomfortable, feeling as if I was coughing up my heart and liver. The thunderous coughing echoed through the small room. Covering my mouth, I could even taste blood in my throat.
I was afraid I would cough up blood. Thankfully, I didn't. I checked my palm, and there was no trace of crimson, which allowed me to slightly relax. Although spitting blood is a common, minor injury for protagonists in movies and anime, that is fantasy; in reality, it is extremely serious.
The feeling of thirst in my throat and the burning sensation on my forehead told me I had caught a cold. This was inevitable, given that I had cried late into the night, left the air conditioner on, and slept on the sofa without a blanket.
I tried to move, wanting to get up and find some water, but my large body was incredibly weak. I shifted twice, unable to sit up, which only made my heart pound violently, heavy and fast, like a drum—thump-thump-thump.
"Mom!"
After struggling for a long time, I only felt worse. The word involuntarily burst from my throat. At the same time, I yearned for a tall figure, just like when I was little, to hear my call, quickly come to my side, sit on the edge of the bed, gently stroke my forehead, and softly comfort me, pressing her forehead against my face to bring me warmth and love, letting me lean on her and inhale her reassuring scent before falling into a deep sleep.
But this was clearly just my wishful thinking now. My voice fell into the empty room like a stone sinking into the sea, met with no response. This silence was unbearable. I am a weak person; I like being alone but fear loneliness. Although I always locked myself in my room to play games, my sister and mother's presence made me feel incredibly warm and peaceful.
I understood now: this house isn't a home just because it's a building, but because of the people inside it.
No one was coming; I had to rely on myself. I exerted great effort to finally stand up, only to find my entire body felt foreign. I strained to stand, then immediately plopped back down onto the sofa. This body was painfully weak now. Both my legs were shaking, completely lacking strength.
I panted for a long time, finally summoning a little strength to stand up, shuffling and moving my body. I finally managed to turn off the air conditioner and heated some water. The dry throat urged me on, and I couldn't help but take a gulp.
It was too hot. I immediately spat out the boiling water, my tongue instantly numb. For a moment, I wanted to cry again.
I suppressed the feeling, because I was the only one in the room now. Who would hear me cry?
I put the hot water down on the table. Unable to resist, I used the time while the water cooled to return to the bedroom. I lay on the floor, searching for the SIM card among the scattered parts. Looking at the pile of phone fragments, and the way I was crawling on the floor, I felt like a maggot. The dual blow of physical and psychological trauma was too much, and I finally burst into tears.
Humans are like this: if someone is there to comfort you, you keep crying, just like a child. As long as someone is there to console them, they keep fussing, because it's human nature to crave love. With the assurance of another person's affection, you become more reckless. If a person has no fallback, no one to care, they adapt quickly.
Since no one was here to comfort me, I quickly stopped crying. I found my phone card among the pile of broken parts, picked it up, opened the drawer, and took out an old phone. After entering high school, Mom confiscated one phone after I became addicted to it, so I saved money by starving myself for several weeks and bought another one. Mom, both angry and helpless, eventually compromised and gave me back the first one as well, which is why I had two phones.
I inserted the card into the phone that hadn't been turned on in a long time and plugged in the charger. This phone was a cheap one I'd saved for. Though it lagged badly for games, it worked fine for calls.
After charging the phone for a while, I turned it on. I sat on the bed with the warm water, taking a few sips, then hesitated over the phone, staring blankly at the screen. Finally, unable to resist the longing in my heart, I tapped the screen, entered a series of numbers, and pressed the dial button.
Beep, beep, beep…
The call was quickly answered. "Hello?"
The voice was slightly cold, perhaps professional, but hearing it made my heart tremble.
"Mom…" I forced the word out, holding back tears.
"What is it, Xiao Nan?"
Mom's voice hadn't changed because of my address; it was still cool and detached. This distant tone broke my heart. Why is she speaking to me like this? I'm your son! My tears fell again, silently.
"I… I caught a cold…" My voice was thick with nasal congestion and suppressed sobs.
I knew I was weak and unpopular with Mom, but the tears just wouldn't stop. I hated my helplessness.
"…"
There was a brief silence on the phone. My heart twisted, tangled like the yarn Mom's knitting needles used to knot when I was a mischievous child.
"There's Ibuprofen and cold medicine in my bedroom drawer. Take the fever reducer first, and after your fever breaks, take the cold medicine. Get some good rest these few days. I'll call your teacher later and ask for leave."
The voice returned from the other end, a standardized response, as if from a template, with absolutely no change in tone.
This left me feeling incredibly cold.
"…" I said nothing, staring blankly at the phone, as if I wanted to see her heartless face through the line.
"...Is there anything else? I am at work right now…"
"No, that's all."
I let out a bitter laugh, then felt something surge up violently in my chest. I couldn't control the fierce coughing that erupted, so loud it sounded like a hammer striking a broken gong. But after two coughs, I quickly hung up the phone.
As I coughed so hard my chest ached and tears streamed down my face, I swore I would never call her again.