Since it was Mistress Extinction's class, and the students were all excellent (with me as the obvious exception), most people were paying attention, save for a few individuals. Today, however, I was definitely not one of those few.
Bai Manwen's gaze swept across the lecture stand. From this vantage point, she had a clear view of all the students' actions. She unconsciously glanced toward the back. She knew which few students weren't paying attention, but she had long given up on the last few in the class; as long as they didn't cause trouble, she wouldn't bother them.
Her eyes suddenly settled on my large figure. A thought crossed her mind, and she involuntarily recalled the incident this morning. She felt a vague sensation still lingering in her chest, and an inexplicable flare of anger arose in her heart. Her full, bright red lips parted, uttering two words: "Lin Nan."
I was wondering who the unlucky person was until I realized she had said my name.
"Wait, why me?"
I immediately reacted. Why was this Old Witch calling my name today?
Many students turned their heads to look at me, the last-place student in the class.
I stood up.
"Translate the last stanza," Bai Manwen said, adjusting her black-rimmed glasses and crossing her arms. She seemed certain I didn't know the answer and wanted to see me embarrass myself.
A little spark of anger ignited within me. I couldn't understand why this Old Witch enjoyed teasing me and seeing me humiliated.
I had actually listened carefully this class, so I quickly recited the translation: "Beside the river, the reeds are dense and thick. The morning dew has not yet completely vanished. Where is the person I long for? She is just on that side of the water. I go against the current to find her, but the road is rugged and hard to trace. I follow the current to find her, and she seems to be on a sandbank in the water."
I sensed a hint of surprise in the glances around me, seemingly astonished that I could actually answer the question, as I had always just said, "I don't know," when called upon before. That feeling, to be honest, was good, but also a little strange, given how much I disliked studying before.
Bai Manwen was clearly surprised as well. She gave me a scrutinizing look but said nothing more.
"Sit down."
I sat down.
Bai Manwen then said, "It seems everyone has a good grasp of this text..."
"Ding-a-ling~"
The final bell rang.
The class was over after this lecture, and we were free to go home. However, it was Mistress Extinction's habit to keep us for an extra ten minutes, rambling on about various trivial things before finally releasing us.
Since I had taken a week off, I ended up coming to school on Friday. I hadn't expected to be going on vacation again after only one day of classes.
Sister and the Path Home
After school, I walked alone along the school pathways with my backpack slung over my shoulder.
The roadside hibiscus flowers were blooming a fiery red. Since it was the end of the school day, the flowers looked even more vibrant and lovely, matching the lighthearted mood.
I walked until I passed the sophomore teaching building. I subconsciously looked over, trying to find her figure.
Since it was dismissal time, I stood at the intersection and scanned for a while. I didn't find her, so I was about to turn away, but my eyes caught a glimpse of a small girl in a school uniform with twin pigtails. I paused, looked carefully, and felt a surge of emotion, watching the little figure surrounded by her friends.
It was my sister. I stood there, admiring her for a while, looking at her pure smile. She seemed especially happy and mischievous with her classmates, walking along, her laughter ringing out like silver bells across the campus, exuding youthful vitality and being highly infectious.
I stood there, staring at her smile for a while. I ultimately dismissed the idea of going over to her. She looked very happy right now, and I didn't want to go over and spoil her mood.
So, I shouldered my backpack and walked toward the school gate.
The petite figure with the twin pigtails also happened to see the lone, somewhat lonely figure of me. She paused for a moment.
"What's wrong?" her friend beside her asked.
"Nothing," the girl shook her head, then pulled her gaze away.
After school, I passed by the street food vendors. The grilled sausages and skewers there looked incredibly tempting, attracting many students. The week's worth of suppressed cravings was finally released the moment they left school—they were naturally buying and eating everything in sight.
The smell wafted over, and I felt the cravings in my stomach stir. If it were before, I would have rushed over without hesitation, but today was different. I touched the gym card in my pocket and suppressed the urge.
I walked all the way home, dropped my backpack, and lay down on the sofa. I opened my phone, habitually searching for games.
But I hadn't downloaded any games on this phone. I searched for a long time before realizing that my previous phone was broken. Mom had kicked and smashed it, in the most simple, crude, and hurtful way possible.
Thinking of this, my desire to play on my phone vanished. When I was alone, without games or snacks to pass the time, it was easy for the longing in my heart to surface.
I wanted to see my mother, who was strict but always prepared everything for me, and I wanted to see my lovely sister.
Feeling lonely and repressed, seeking an outlet for desire became the solution. I felt the urge to masturbate again.
The thought startled me. Not wanting to repeat my old mistakes, I stood up and walked outside.
Being alone makes it easy to overthink, especially when idle. I wandered around aimlessly, not knowing where to go, just walking.
I walked with my head down for a long time, not knowing where I was, until I looked up and saw the Syrian-style gym in front of me.
I stood at the entrance, hesitating. My body was still aching. Should I go home and rest for a couple of days, and come back when the pain is gone?
But I didn't turn back. An impulse urged me forward. I didn't know what this feeling was; perhaps it was my own self crying out for help.
"I'm already here," I muttered, then moved my feet and pushed the door open.
Inside, the atmosphere was still red-hot: people lifting barbells and dumbbells, bench pressing, doing warm-ups, everyone busy with their own thing.
Coming for the second time, I was still nervous. I still felt like people were looking at me, that my fat body seemed out of place here.
I saw Chen Ge sitting at the counter, talking with a few people.
I didn't feel comfortable calling out to him. First, there were too many people, and second, I didn't want to bother him again.
So, I hesitantly walked into the crowd, approached the dumbbell rack, and picked one up.
Several people next to me were doing sets with massive dumbbells, while I held one that was a size smaller than theirs. I felt inexplicably embarrassed and incredibly pressured, especially given my height.
I felt at a loss, unsure of which exercise pose to use. Would I be laughed at if I didn't do it correctly?
But I couldn't just stand there holding it. I felt guilty for occupying the resource, so I imitated the dumbbell front raise. After a few repetitions, my arms felt incredibly sore, so I dropped them. I'll rest for a bit and come back later, I thought.
I went to the treadmill, set the speed, stepped on, and almost fell after two steps. My legs were just too sore. I looked around, thankfully no one seemed to be paying attention to my awkwardness. I lowered the speed, ran for a while, but it still felt too fast. I lowered it again. Eventually, it was almost a walk, but I was still exhausted. Sweat poured down, drenching my clothes.
"I guess this is enough for today. I'll rest and come back another day."
I felt sore all over and had no strength. My cold was completely gone; this was my body reacting to the sudden increase in exercise over the past few days.
I turned off the treadmill, stepped off, bought a bottle of water, and leaned in a corner to drink.
At that moment, a girl with an excellent figure came over, lay down on a yoga mat, and slowly started stretching and doing yoga. I glanced over and felt particularly drawn to her shapely butt, encased in yoga pants. I quickly looked away, afraid of being seen as a pervert, and quickly walked away from the area.
"You're here? Ready to leave already?" Just as I was about to walk out, Chen Ge happened to pass by, saw me, and greeted me.
"Yeah, I'm done for now," I smiled.
"Stick around a little longer. It looks like you haven't been here for very long," Chen Ge smiled.
So, he had seen me come in. I felt a bit embarrassed. I hadn't even been here for half an hour, like I was just sightseeing.
"Alright," I nodded, stopping. Maybe I was afraid of him teasing me.
"I saw you running. Running is great. Have you heard this saying?" Chen Ge walked toward the treadmill.
"What saying?"
"The fat guys in the cardio area and the skinny guys in the weight room are all worthy of respect," Chen Ge smiled.
"Really?" I smiled. "What's so respectable about that?"
"But no one is laughing at you. Look, I thought you wouldn't come today, but you did."
"I came, but I got tired quickly. I'm too fat," I sighed.
"So what?" Chen Ge pursed his lips. "You know, when it comes to fitness, it's not about how hard you work out once, or how many hours you train in a day. To me, those things don't matter."
"Why?" I asked, confused.
"The most important thing is to establish the habit and keep at it. Even if you only exercise for half an hour a day, I'm sure you'll see a change in a month or two. Stick with it for a year, and you will definitely lose the weight," Chen Ge said, looking at me.
"Stick with it for a year..." I murmured.
"Just let it become a habit. Later, you can consistently dedicate a little time out of your schedule every day. It's not that hard," Chen Ge looked at me seriously. "For ordinary people, being physically fit and having a bit of muscle is enough."
"What about people who aren't ordinary?" I asked curiously.
"Not ordinary? What do you consider 'not ordinary'?" Chen Ge countered.
"At least someone who can fight several people at once, someone really formidable," I replied.
"Sure. Then you should learn martial arts," Chen Ge said.
"Martial arts? Can you teach me?" I asked.
Chen Ge smiled at me, and I immediately felt awkward. Why would he teach me? Just because I had a lot of nerve?
"Forget it if you can't," I said.
"Of course I can. Why not? I teach anyone who asks me in the gym, I'm just not very good at teaching," Chen Ge chuckled.
"Oh," I replied. So that's how it was.
"First, you need to stick to coming to the gym. There are some really skilled guys here, but if you're inconsistent, I won't bother introducing you," Chen Ge smiled.
"Never mind. It's too much trouble. No need," I said. I didn't realize there were so many options. I felt bad troubling him, and I really hadn't achieved anything yet. Trying to get into a fighting ring after two days at the gym was ridiculous.
"Haha, if you want to know more, you can always come and ask me. It's a small thing." I felt that Chen Ge truly lived up to his role as the boss; he was so friendly, it felt like anyone could get along with him.
After chatting for a bit, Chen Ge was called away by someone else. I got back on the treadmill and ran for a while, but I truly couldn't push myself anymore, so I went home.
Walking home from the gym, I felt a strange sense of satisfaction. It was the complete opposite of the feeling I got when leaving an internet cafe.