Mercedes stayed locked away in her room. Everyone was worried about her and her well-being. The only one she allowed close to her was Crystal. Even so, she didn't open up about her problem. She kept silent, and she even blocked out her wolf. She was consumed with guilt and regret. She even thought about running away and back to the human realm to report the crime she committed. She convinced herself that it was the right thing and what she deserved.
Felix was anguished by the distance she put between them. He didn't understand what to do or how to reach out to her. His wolf Roland was comforting him for the first time. He tried convincing him that it was not their fault, and they should give her some space until she comes around and lets them in. That was very difficult because now that he knew that she was his mate, the pull was too strong.
He soon found himself marching towards Mercedes's room. He saw Crystal coming out with a tray of food. It seemed to have been the one from a few days back. Stale and untouched. She didn't eat the food that was brought for her. He approached her to inquire about Mercedes's condition.
" Crystal," he said, getting her attention. She looked at him nervously and averted her gaze from him. She could not look him in the eye and tell him that his Luna was not eating.
" What is going on? Why is she not eating?" he asked, gesturing to the tray.
Crystal sighed and decided to tell him the truth. Today she found out the reason Mercedes was crying and distancing herself from everyone.
" Alpha, I don't know what to say other than that she needs you even if she doesn't say it. She just found out that she did something terrible unknowingly, and she is beating herself up because of it. I had tried to tell her otherwise, but she did not understand. "I beg you to be patient with her and try to make her see that it was not her fault." She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and Felix nodded.
" Oh! I brought her fresh food. She insists on not being hungry, but she is. Please make sure she eats that as well, or she will fall sick," she concluded before leaving him standing outside the door. Felix contemplated whether he should see her or not. He was not sure if he had the patience or the will required to get through to her.
"You know what, fuck it!" he muttered before opening the door. The sight he saw was something he never wanted to see. His mate lay on the bed like an ashen corpse. The blind to her room was closed to prevent light, so it was dark, but he could see well thanks to werewolf night vision. He entered her room and closed the door behind him. He didn't know if she had noticed him, but she didn't move or say anything to him. He expected her to be difficult and throw him out of her room, but it was not like he was going to give in today. He wanted to settle this matter once and for all.
Felix slowly went towards the bed and looked at Mercedes. Her hair was disheveled from rolling around in bed, her eyes were sunk and had dark circles under them, her lips were pale and chapped, and her face had no color. Anger boiled inside of him, but he clenched his fists and stopped himself from grabbing the lamp post at his bedside and hauling it on the wall. Throwing things was more therapeutic for him than anything, but he didn't want to scare his mate.
He turned and went to the window. He pulled open the blinds and light seeped into the room shed light. He turned back to her to see that she had turned the other way and covered herself with bedsheets to avoid light. She was being stubborn, but so was he and they would resolve whatever was holding her down. He saw the tray that Crystal brought on the dresser. Felix shook his head and rolled the sleeves of his shirt.
He started pulling the sheet off her, but Mercedes gripped it. He was pulling the sheet gently, but seeing that she was resisting, he pulled it a little harder, and it slipped away from her. She immediately sat up from the bed and glared at Felix with a frown on her face. Her eyes were swollen and red from crying a lot, but somehow Felix was not bothered by her unkempt appearance. He thought she was beautiful anyhow, and she could never be ugly in his eyes. His affection for her was kicking in. It was true that you could not see your mate the same way you see others.
Felix cleared his throat and looked at her with no emotion. If he was going to get through to Mercedes, it would not be with love and attention because he was not capable of sweet and comforting words.
" You look angry. Did I perhaps disturb your beauty sleep," he said, mocking her. Mercedes was weak, and she didn't want to argue or fight with him, so she kept mum and just stared at him intensely.
" Doesn't our mate look so handsome?" Reyna asked, dropping into the background. Mercedes internally rolled her eyes at her and ignored her. For the past few days, Reyna has been nagging her like the others. She didn't feel like talking or doing anything but no one understood her. She just wanted to forget everything that she saw, but it wouldn't happen. It keeps on playing like an endless inescapable loop. No one understands the burden that her heart carries because she ended the lives of four people, among them being the people who raised her. She felt like a monster who didn't deserve to live.
" Okay, I guess it didn't go so well since you look pretty worn out," he said, looking at her intensely. " How about we try something new, like getting out of bed and taking a long shower and then eating breakfast," he suggested seriously.
Mercedes sighed and laid back on the bed, still not saying to him. Felix realized that she wouldn't budge without a push, so he went to her and pulled her out of bed, forcing her to stand. Mercedes fought him to let her go, but he held on to her. " Let me go, Felix! Leave me alone! I don't want you here or anyone else! Just let me be!" she exclaimed in frustration with fresh hot tears trailing down her cheeks. Felix's gaze softened, and he pulled her onto his chest and rubbed her back. She kept trying to pull away, hitting his chest with her weak punches, but he didn't let her go. The electric sparks burst between them and both of them felt it.
It hurt him so much that she was constantly rejecting his comfort when he wanted nothing other than to shield her from all the pain in the world and be by her side when she needed it the most. He didn't picture what his first time with his mate would be like, but this was far from it. Mercedes sobbed bitterly and melted on Felix's chest. Her legs were weak, and she was about to fall when he turned them and sat on the bed and placed Mercedes on his lap.
She put her arms around his neck and sniffled while Felix cooed in her ear. When she began to quiet down, they just sat there in silence without saying anything to each other. After a little while, Felix decided to break the comfortable silence.
" Please talk to me, Mercedes," he said to her, and she stiffened in his arms. She tried to wiggle out of his arms, but Felix would not let ger go. He picked her up and made her straddle him so she could face him. She tried to hit him face by hugging him and snuggling his neck. Felix was not going to give in to her antics. They had to talk things over and get to the bottom of it so that their new relationship could progress. Whatever was going on was hindering the progression of their relationship and the pack members were starting to have questions about the status quo.
As much as he loved having Mercedes in her arms right now, there was the matter at hand to attend to before that. He pulled her away from his neck and forced her to look at him.
" Talk to me, Mercedes... please," he said, pleading with her. Mercedes saw the pain in his eyes and her heart strained. She felt bad for pushing him away and making him feel like she didn't want him. God knows how much she wanted someone to care for and love her. Maybe they are not quite there in matters of love, but whatever it was that was going on between them was enough to make her feel special. The look in his eyes was reserved only for her and his touch was gentle and warm. Just what she needed, and yet she deprived herself of it. To think that she desired him before she knew all about the mate thing and then it happened. She is his and he is hers. It was not fair that she was not letting him fulfill his duty by not telling him the truth. He deserved to know the truth so he could decide if he still wanted her. She hugged him again and took in his intoxicating sandalwood scent and felt his body on hers as if it was the last time she would be that close to him.
" Ok I will tell you the truth," she said and looked him in the eyes. He nodded his head and gave him all her attention. She averted her gaze and took a deep breath. " I am a murderer!" she confessed and Felix's eyes widened in confusion. " I killed my parents and two other people," she added, and a tear slipped out of her eye as she awaited his reaction to her truth. In her heart, she hoped this would not be the end of them and their beginning love story.