It seemed Charlotte and May had banded up only to be against Nicoleta, and of what point was their friendship if they would be enemies to the one person they fought over almost everyday?
Nicoleta's struggle to call her scarlet flame was slowly becoming a part of her routine, she tried to meditate multiple times and failed alike, she tried her own methods, and none of them worked, she consulted her friends, and they enraged her even more.
The month of March was nothing but a series of Nicoleta failing, again and again, it got to the point where even her classmates were beginning to notice something wrong with her.
And despite Nicoleta's failures with her powers Evan couldn't refuse her steady improvement in Taekwondo.
On Friday afternoon after class, inside the girls dressing room, where Nicoleta had already changed into her sector uniform and was unwrapping the safety bandage on her wrist, Kannika walked up to Nicoleta with two of her friends, and asked her out to a movie. "They are showing a Premier of Mystery of the pretend- would you like to join us?" Nicoleta was hardly paying attention, her mind was stuck on her powers, she was too frustrated one more burnt bed and she would stop trying all together.
She couldn't have of course gone to see a movie, even if she wanted to because her schedule would never allow her to have fun even if her life depended on it.
"can't- " one of the girls jumped in, her voice too squeaky, and annoying for Nicoleta to not cringe. "Why not?" Nicoleta placed the bandage on the counter, and grabbed her bag, "I have another class in five minutes" she found herself saying that a lot nowadays.
Kannika seemed to understand, her expression softened, "well- uhh whenever you are free just meet as at the first theater doors" she nodded. The three girls left with Kannika glancing at Nicoleta over her shoulder.
Nicoleta tried not to burst. Everyone saw her failure in class that day, they saw how she couldn't even control her yellow flame as effectively anymore, they saw how she nailed her kicks, and failed simple power training like using your fire to burn paper.
Everyone saw how much of a failure she was. She couldn't even let herself be happy about doing good when it came to Taekwondo because she practically embarrassed herself in class. So what if she was doing good in Taekwondo, the De-Luca program was for Both power and martial training, if she was failing in one, she was pretty much failing the whole class.
She waited until everyone left before exiting the changing room. Evan was by the table as usual, drinking tea, and humming a soft tone- that was new. He was mostly quiet.
Absorbing the atmosphere around him.
Nicoleta tried to make as little noise as possible as she made her way out, however her shoes kept clanking on the wooden plated metallic floors, and it was impossible not to notice her.
Her walk from the dressing rooms to the door was excruciatingly long.
Evan took his precious time to speak up, his voice was only heard when she was half way through pushing the door open.
"Ms. Ariti- good job today" she retained her scoff and pushed the doors farther open, taking one step forward before Evan who was all the way across the room, somehow took hold of her wrist.
"Do you know the reason why you cannot call your flame?" she sighed, "yes you have told me a million times" Evan stepped away from her letting go of her wrist.
He looked concerned, as if he were looking at a wounded poppy. Nicoleta wanted to flame that expression away from his face but if she tried she would just end up embarrassing herself all over again.
"Do you feel your flame?" The concern disappeared, crowding his features was now a curious look. He searched her face, Nicoleta wanted to laugh, what kind of question was that?
"Of course I do" she made to leave once more, but the door seemed impossible to open the second time around. He couldn't have locked it without her seeing, he wasn't a speedster either, so he was using his telekinesis to stop her.
"Let me go De-Luca, I have another class" he shook his head.
"Do you feel your flame… here" he stepped closer and placed a palmer on her sternum. Nicoleta looked up at him confused. "What do you mean?" He lifted his hand and placed the tips of his fingers down on her sternum. He pressed down, and a rush of heat washed over Nicoleta.
In the pit of her stomach she felt a still small flame burn ever so softly. When she opened her eyes, Evan was nothing but a skeleton. She panicked for a moment, her heart twisted, Nicoleta was ready to break down and cry right there, but then she heard his voice.
"Your flame should be felt constantly. It is still and burns quietly." She looked down expecting to see her body wrapped in fire, but her hands were bare, her clothes could still be felt on her skin.
The only difference was the small burn she felt where he had added pressure. Nicoleta blinked repeatedly to clear her vision, shook her head, and even rubbed her eyes.
When she looked up at his blue green eyes, it was him again.
"You have to be one with your flame Nicoleta" she shook her head, making another attempt to leave. Evan placed his hands on her shoulders, locking his gaze on hers.
"This is not a suggestion Ms. Ariti- you must do this" he seemed out of breath as he spoke, "Fire consumes Ms. Ariti, if you don't become one with your flame it will forcefully fuse itself with you" her breaths hitched. "Wha- " she stuttered.
"What do you mean? Am I?" She stepped back, heart pounding dangerously hard against her chest, "am I going to die?"
Evan let go of her and stepped toward his table. When he answered his voice was low, barely above a whisper.
"Death would be a better option" she imagined being in Victoria's position with her flame, and couldn't imagine there would be any better way out of it than dying.
"Ms. Ariti, fire is not like other abilities, you cannot resist it forever- you will lose all control and become a slave to your power" Nicoleta let out a shaky breath, she was not far from it then.
She used to have so much control over her yellow flame and that day's class was a total mess, she couldn't even call her yellow flame without struggling.
She was already losing control, it was only a matter of time before she would be exactly like her former friend, slave to her own power. Unable to become anything more than a vessel to her own abilities.
"It's either you learn how to control your powers or you will be controlled by it" she left before he could say anymore to her, she left before he could break her anymore than she already was.
The revelation left her slack. She barely performed in Mr. And Mrs Arnold's class, but that was nothing new to what she usually did, as always Jamie offered to heal any broken bones or wounds, to which she responded with.
"I'm fine" and she was, over time she was becoming more flexible, less prone to injuries than when she started training, physically fit enough to lose a spar without limping to her bedroom.
She skipped dinner for the chance of catching the girls in the first theater mid movie. So after class she left early, showered quickly and took an apple from her fridge before letting her watch guide her to the first theater.
The halls were nearly empty as curfew was close, but there were some folk here and there. The officers patrolled the halls twenty four seven, so their faces weren't strange to see during all hours.
When she arrived in front of the doors of the theater, she read the sign that read 'closed' and pitifully went back to her room, snacking on whatever's in her fridge to calm her hunger.
With what Evan told her stuck in her mind, Nicoleta sat down on her floors, placed her hands on each knee, closed her eyes and inhaled a deep desperate breath.
She hummed how Evan did. Concentrated on getting to her powers, tried to feel them from within her, yet even the still small flame she felt earlier had disappeared.
She tried calling her yellow flame, and nothing came, she shut her eyes tighter, and screamed at herself to focus. Her hands twitched as she tried to stay deadly still. She scolded her heart for being too loud, she hit her chest once to make it stop.
She wiped away a lone tear that had fallen. Panic settled into the bit of her stomach, fooling her that it was her flame, and when she grabbed hold over it, a feeling of devastation fell upon her so heavy she wasn't sure whether to scream in anger or cry.
When she tried again to grasp her flame and felt nothing, when she reached out for it and held air back in her hands, Nicoleta lost it.
That was when they showed up, when she was angry with them. That's when both her yellow and scarlet flame burst out of her, when frustration was more than just having too much homework.
She screamed and thrashed around her bedroom burning anything that stood in her way.
"LISTEN TO ME!" She screamed, as the flame wrapped around her. She pounced on her coffee table, breaking it completely and setting it on fire. Her couch disappeared when the scarlet flame graced it.
In the midst of her rage and fury, a small hopeful idea popped in her head. She reached out to grasp the flame whilst she could still feel it but when she did, it went away as if it had never been there.
She fell in a pile of her burnt furniture, some ash, some gone completely, some burning, and cried, her chest heaving, breaths hitched, snot dripping, gut wrenching tears.
She was sure that was what death was like, but that wasn't it- no death ought to be a little more peaceful, that was what losing control felt like, and it was completely helpless.
His soft humming was annoying, the relaxed look on his face made her feel insecure, the slow rise and fall of his chest made her look down, and she didn't find relaxation but rather a tense person staring back at her.
When he opened his eyes there was a type of sleepy look in them, she wanted to have the same look in her eyes, she wanted to gain control over her powers.
More than anything she wanted- needed to be home to live the life she longed for, the life she pictured in her mind.
Nicoleta hated how good he was at meditating, she hated that she was so stubborn.
They looked at each other for a long minute. Evan tilted his head at her, a somewhat reassuring smile tugging at his lips.
Nicoleta closed her eyes and relaxed her shoulders the way he did, she even hummed, inhaled slowly, exhaled with intention. Nothing.
Her hands tightened to fists, jaws clenching. A sigh fled her lips, "I'm not going to be able to do this" Evan moved to sit next to her, "you have to calm yourself- meditation should have a goal, you should have a reason as to why you are meditating. Then once it's been established you focus on it, until you get it." he placed his thump on her forehead, and the familiar heat of his flame rushed through her.
She closed her eyes, and allowed herself to sink into the thought of reaching her flame. She thought of seeing it, and being able to feel it burn around her with intention, she hoped that despite her eyes being closed that she would be able to perceive her flame, touch it even- become one with it.
Slowly the blackness materialised around her, then heat surrounded her, Nicoleta looked about her, examining the ever stretching darkness.
She reached out for a heat, for some kind of flame. Nothing responded, Nicoleta stood there for felt like an eternity, then the heat that was running through her died.
She panicked, assuming that she would be brought back to reality, but when the heat went away, something different replaced it.
This flame wasn't felt within her, but it burned all around her, as if she was placed in a pit of flame.
She turned around and saw her scarlet flame, beside it was another, blue then yellow, then white, and when she looked further another burned far away from the rest.
Nicoleta reached out for the distant flame, her hand aching with desire to touch it- feel it within her veins, burning.
When she got closer to it, it burned her, it actually burned her, it wasn't a soft heat, it wasn't even like the one she felt that night she saw the blue eyes.
This felt like a hand on a burning stove. Nicoleta backed away from it and stood in the middle, staring at each flame that surrounded her, all burning furiously, all indistinguishable.
In her mind she questioned how she would be able to tell which was which by just feeling.
She looked at them all, brows furrowed, "who are you?" she asked, voice laced with curiosity.
Her scarlet flame advanced towards her in that instant. She didn't have time to react until it went right through her, it was hot. It was almost painful.
Then after the scarlet flame came the yellow, then the blue, and all of them except for the distant one, and with each flame that rushed through her veins, she felt a difference in all of them.
And as they all burned individually within her, her question was answered. Loud and clearly in her ears almost like a roar.
"I'am You"
Her chest shook violently, and she gasped.
When Nicoleta opened her eyes, she was sitting in the training hall, eyes straight ahead.
"What happened?" Evan asked, she let out a heavy breath, allowing herself to relax.
She told him everything.
Evan smiled, then raised a brow, "well?" Nicoleta reached inside herself, and as if she had always known how to, she called both her scarlet and yellow flame at once.
One on the right and the other on the left. Evan almost looked proud, his smile was warm, it reminded her of her brother's.
She laughed, relief washing over her, she did it.
She called her fire.
"What do you think the other flames stand for?" He shrugged, "it could be anything. The blue flame could be like mine, or it could be something different. It's up to you to learn about your flame. You have to mediate regularly now"
She nodded.
"Thank you"
Nicoleta hid nothing from her friends during dinner, they were beyond happy for her, and they didn't hold back with the "I told you so" to which Nicoleta couldn't argue, because they indeed told her so.
They told her countless times to just listen to Evan, and when she finally did, she got the results she wanted, and more.
So they celebrated over dinner, and even more, eventually May announced that it was her birthday.
Nicoleta upon hearing the news, rushed through the crowded canteen, and when she arrived by the ladies that handled the food, she pleaded for a cake and a candle.
They gave her a slice of cake, telling her, "that's all you're getting" in a groggy, ragged voice.
She lit the candle for May, and her friend happily blew it out.
"Happy birthday"
"Happy birthday" said Charlotte, she hugged May, and Nicoleta inhaled a deep breath, preparing to leave. But then May hugged her back, and they reached in together to hug her as well.
They celebrated all night, even having a sleepover to see Nicoleta show off with her powers.
And show off she did.
And she didn't struggle, she could feel them as easily as she could breathe, she could use them as easily as she could see. They came to her at her beck and call.
After months of refusal, Nicoleta had at last become one with her fire.