After a week a person was supposed to improve but Nicoleta still struggled to call her scarlet flame, and on top of that she wasn't sure whether she was doing any better with Taekwondo.
She had gotten better at balancing, kicking was getting a little easier the more they stretched, but she didn't have as much power in her kicks as her other mates, the mannequin always knocked her off of her feet. Her punches were weak as well, but compared to her kicks, she was improving a little more on that side.
"Keep up the good work!" Evan shouted, encouraging the class. He met Nicoleta's eye from across the room, as he advanced towards a different group, then he stopped midway, and came towards Nicoleta.
"You have to stop slouching" he said under his breath as he corrected her stance twice that day. "Sorry" is all Nicoleta could respond with, too embarrassed to look at him, she returned to her poor kicks, and somewhat good punches, she was beginning to think going for a different martial art would help her, considering she was horrible at doing the primary thing of Taekwondo.
She stepped back and high kicked the mannequin, making her flame swirl around her foot as she did, it almost looked as immaculate as when Evan would do it- almost.
She repeated the sequence until she caused the mannequin to bounce back instead of the opposite, then she practiced her punches, then both of them together.
Nicoleta found that she slowly fell into rhythm with the rest of the class, and at some point she became a little less sluggish.
That always seemed to be the case whenever she was in the grove during class, but the moment she stepped outside the doors, and returned the next day her flow would have disappeared in her sleep.
Even if she was improving, Nicoleta could quite tell, she just spawned to square one every class.
Shaking off the negative thoughts she combined her powers with both her kicks and punches. The class consisted of that and nothing more. Her scarlet flame refused to make an appearance still.
Class was over before Nicoleta could tell. After everyone left, she stayed behind, Evan was by the table making himself a cup of tea.
"What's the problem Ms. Ariti?" She kept her gaze locked on the floors, her hands fidgeting behind her back, he already knew her problem, Nicoleta didn't know why she had suddenly become so nervous.
He looked at her, "come sit down- tea?" Nicoleta took a step closer and halted, "I have another class in five minutes" he laughed heartily.
"I know, but you stayed-" Nicoleta sat next to him, "why can't you call the scarlet flame?" she shrugged, she called the yellow one so effortlessly, it should have been easy for her to call the scarlet one, by now under Evan's training she should have, yet no such luck even graced her.
"I.. I don't know"
"It's very simple" he didn't allow Nicoleta to protest, as he let his blue flame wrap around his arm in an intricate artist way, he then threw it into the air and made it a round shape then a square, he made it so small that she could barely see it, and so large that she flinched thinking that he had lost control.
But no, he was in complete and utter control, and it was both frustrating and beautiful to watch. Nicoleta imagined having that amount of control over her powers, the amount of control that would get her to sector 1, then out of Westinsenson entirely, the kind of control that would take her back to civilisation, where she could live a normal life with her father, and adapt, and she had to adapt to her new family.
But perhaps she needed to be better, stronger, more reserved, so much so that she would never need to use her powers, to a certain point where she wouldn't have the fear hurting anyone.
He made his flame into a small wave, then he shaped it into a hand, then he pulled it into himself once more.
He made it look so effortless, he made it look artistic, he made it look as if it was breathing, like second nature. it reminded Nicoleta of her own art, it reminded her of how natural it felt to draw, how easily she fell into the rhythm of art, in a different world she would be the artist and Evan the one stricken with awe.
She wondered at that moment, if there was any way she could rekindle her artist ways once more, if there was a place she could go in sector 2 to do her art, if that was even possible in her tight schedule.
She snapped out of it. "And how are you showing off going to help me?"
Evan chuckled lightly, "I'm simply trying to show you how to let your flame be free- let it flow naturally" She cringed at the statement. "I can't do that"
"Why?" he questioned, placing his tea cup down.
"Because I can't" he didn't accept that answer, "that is not a reason Ms. Ariti" she shrugged.
"I want to control it- " he nodded, "then let it flow naturally" Nicoleta held her flame back, letting out an exasperated breath.
"I can't- that doesn't even make any sense" he cocked his head, "why can't you?" It took everything in Nicoleta not to burn something as she practically screamed in his face.
"Because every time I did someone got hurt" he looked at her curiously, Nicoleta tried not to let her mind wander off to those awful memories of sector twelve.
They shared a long look Evan's eyes stuck in consideration, before he seemed to come to a conclusion "Then you don't have enough control over your flame then"
Nicoleta scoffed, annoyed, he wasn't helping, he wasn't even making any sense. "How can I let it be free and control it all at once?" Evan chuckled again, she was beginning to hate that laugh, she wanted to leave right then and there.
"Control doesn't mean enslavement Ms. Ariti" Nicoleta raised her brows at him, he stared at her but didn't say a word.
He smiled, "you have to become one with your flame in order to have control over it, Fire can not be contained, not unless you make it a companion- " the flame that separated from her family for nine years and probably more if she continued to struggle to control it? The flame that made her cause hundreds of people harm in sector twelve, killing exactly five? The flame that made her a hazardous person to be around, labeled as dangerous in sector eleven?
The flame that made her father- her sweet caring father who had never never looked at her in any other way but with love- look at her as if she was a monster?.
The very same flame that got her strapped to her bed, for long hours. She shivered, she was supposed to become one with that? The flame that made her life miserable?
She hardly remembered the last time she picked up a pencil to draw, but before the flame she used to draw all the time, paint all the time, and when she wasn't, she watched her father make a new project, she watched him make all ten of his projects, giving her own ideas, which he never- not once ignored.
And if they experienced artist block, they'd spend the day in the flower fields, running their hands through the flowers, and living a normal life. Before the flame Nicoleta had a normal life, and now, now it stripped her off everything, every joy.
"No- no what-? " The concept alone of what he was saying was bizarre, infuriating even.
"It is not a part of me" she stated, shaking her head at him, "this thing is a curse, it's a parasite- and it needs to be taken down!" Evan looked at her with his brows furrowed.
"You want to make your powers dormant?" she shook her head, all the terrible memories in sector twelve rushing through her, she trembled. "You don't understand," she told him.
"I understand very well Ms. Ariti. It will take a long time until you gain control over your flame- " she didn't allow him to finish his sentence before storming out of the training hall. Leaving Evan alone with his two hot cups of tea.
The weekend presented Nicoleta with freedom from Evan's nonstop babbling about becoming one with the flame, and opened a door of spending more time with her friends.
During dinner however she was reminded of her terrible week when May and Charlotte shared how they did everything they wanted to, watched a movie, skipped gym even, -no wonder she didn't see them on Friday-.
Whilst Charlotte and May had a program free week, she was being bombarded with her two programs, Mr. And Mrs. Arnold's continuous criticism of every move Nicoleta made be it bad or good, was exhausting, and on top of that they somehow made sparring difficult with each class, it was either Nicoleta was getting worse or her opponents were getting better or Mr. And Mrs. Arnold were beasts who enjoyed seeing her suffer. Evan was the same save for the fact that he was trying to make her do something completely impossible, and then there was school work. It seemed her teachers didn't take her being in two very stressful programs into consideration because she had to skip breakfast and skip lunch because of how much school work she had.
Charlotte of course noticed immediately that though Nicoleta wasn't as cheerful as May, she also wasn't so dull her.
"What's the matter?" she asked, cutting May's rambling short. May also looked at her friend, and her brows knitted together. "What's the matter?"
If it were a week ago they would have argued about the other copying what the other was saying, but it seemed that now they cared more about Nicoleta -finally- than their petty arguments.
Nicoleta considered telling them the truth and figured it wouldn't hurt to let them know. It would be good to keep them prepared anyway, for any incidents that might happen.
"I'm having a difficult time with my powers right now" she said vaguely, May pressed on further, "what do you mean? What's wrong, why are you having a difficult time?" Charlotte joined her during her last sentence. No argument about that either.
"I have three powers- ummm.. telekinesis- " she moved her glass of water from her left to her right as demonstration, "and my yellow flame" then she lit her hand on fire, making her friends lean back in semi surprise.
They knew she had fire abilities, but they had never seen it in action, never so bright and quite as yellow. "But I have another flame- and I can't seem to call it" May leaned in again, Charlotte stayed where she was.
"Have you told your instructor?" They both asked in unison, Nicoleta nodded.
"Then you should listen to whatever he tells you then- Mr. De-Luca's class has a one hundred percent rate" Charlotte tapped her shoulder and shook her head, "it's actually ninety nine" Nicoleta sighed, she readied herself to step out of the canteen. Yet to her surprise nothing happened, May simply nodded.
Shocked, she stared at them. They stared back- Nicoleta tried to not focus too much on it for fear of ruining the peace in harmony, and pleaded her case with them.
"He told me to 'become one with my flame' isn't that ridiculous?" she laughed but it was stiff, May and Charlotte shared a look, "No, not really" May answered. "Yeah, your powers are a part of you" Nicoleta gave the two of them a disgusted look, the very same May showed her some time ago.
Charlotte shrugged, "what do you guys mean?- you- what?" what they were saying was insane, so what? they accepted their powers just like that? After it separated them from their families, from their normal life, stripping them of a proper childhood.
It's either they were insane, or they never experienced sector twelve, or they didn't love their families.
"Nico come on- " Nicoleta didn't allow her to finish, "no Charlotte please- what are you guys even saying?" May butted in, surprisingly in Charlotte's defense, "hear her out Leta- sure once upon a time we didn't have our powers but we have them now and it's become a part of who we are"
Nicoleta shook her head at them, leaning back, and pushing her chair back in the process.
Once upon a time there was no meteorite, there was no mutation, there were no powers, there was only normal life, and all these things took that away.
"This flame- "she said, as she lit her hand on fire once again, "is a parasite, and I will not take anymore talk about it being a part of me" Charlotte grabbed Nicoleta's fireless wrist to stop her from going placing her hand down gently on the table.
"Leta how do you think this works?" Charlotte laughed, a little sarcasm laced in her tone. "yeah- when the heat wave spread around it didn't implant a parasite Nico it mutated our dna so yes- this" Charlotte gestured to her still burning hand, "is part of you"
Nicoleta held the flame back from bursting, she closed her eyes and wiggled out of Charlotte's grip, letting the flame die out, before standing on her feet.
"My life was better without that meteorite." With that she left them, her entire body hot with the heat of the flame.
Her homework was a never ending pile of papers, Nicoleta was about ready to burn them in angry protest but she knew it wasn't her papers that made her angry but rather her friends.
How could they of all people agree with Mr. De-Luca? how could they betray her like that? How? She hoped that they would comfort her, tell her she was right, encourage her about her decision, tell her to be firm about it, she expected them to be on her side, to understand her.
But it seemed no matter how far he was her father would forever be the person she'd never find disappointment in.
So after hours of her mind cramping, she placed the papers on her bed side table and went to her desk.
She opened her computer and dialed the number ingrained in her memory..
When she called, it took exactly five rings before her father picked up.
She smiled at the sight of those welcoming brown eyes, and completely melted into her seat. "hi dad" she slurred out lazily. He looked behind him, and turned back to her. "Val isn't here μέλι (honey) " Nicoleta nodded, her smile widening.
She told her father everything, from her first week in sector 2, to just an hour ago when her friends quote on quote "με προδίδει!" (Betrayed me!)
Her father stayed silent and listened to her ramble on and on, until she ran out of words to say. At the end Nicoleta was half sobbing, half fuming.
"Εάν δεν σας αρέσει η οδηγία του, τότε θα πρέπει να αφήσετε το πρόγραμμα Nicoleta." (if you don't like his instruction anymore then you should leave the program Nicoleta.) She looked at her father with wet eyes that evaporated immediately.
"What?" What he was suggesting was beyond horrible, his program was helping her, just not in some areas so what! She was getting stronger physically, and compared to her control over her flame martial arts was slowly becoming the easier part of his class, and she was beginning to bond with her classmates.
"Δεν μπορώ απλά να αφήσω τον μπαμπά." (I can't just leave dad.) Her father furrowed his brows, "Γιατί όχι;?" (Why not?) She crossed her arms beneath her breast, "Επειδή είναι ένα καλό πρόγραμμα - με βοηθά" (because it's a good program- it's helping me) Ambrose raised one brow in question, Nicoleta didn't like that look, that look was always followed by some lecture, which always convicted her.
"Το πρόγραμμα είναι μόνο τόσο καλό όσο το επιτρέπετε να είναι, αγαπητέ μου." (the program is only as good as you allow it to be, my dear.)
Nicoleta leaned back, deflating on her chair.
He continued, "Αρνείστε να τους διδάξετε, τότε δεν μπορεί να σας διδάξει αγαπητέ." (you refuse to be taught by him, then he can't teach you sweetheart.)
Nicoleta bit her lip. Despite the tremendously painful look on his daughter's face Ambrose didn't stop there.
Shame was slowly taking away the anger bubbling in her stomach, and instead of feeling warm because of her flame she felt warm purely from the embarrassment.
"Αν θέλετε να μείνετε τότε θα πρέπει να ακούσετε ό, τι λέει Nicoleta." (if you want to stay then you should listen to whatever he says Nicoleta.)
"Your instructors are there to help you darling, even if their methods might seem- " he sighed, "unfair-" Nicoleta uncrossed her arms.
She frowned, her eyes welling up with tears, "Και εσύ;" (you too?") Ambrose gave her a knowing look.
"Nicoleta" his voice was soft, yet stern, she couldn't stand to look at him at that moment, Nicoleta did something she would otherwise never do.
"Goodbye dad" then her father's face was off her screen.
On Monday Nicoleta was surprised to find May and Charlotte running together on the treadmill, in the gym, and not only that but they were having a conversion as well, Nicoleta joined them in the middle, and asked them. "So have you guys settled your differences?" The two shrugged and continued their conversation that Nicoleta zoned out on.
During the day she went to her classes as usual, she left despite Evan telling her to stay, Mr. And Mrs Arnold were as cruel as always, and school work was as difficult as the last week.
Nicoleta continued to struggle to call her scarlet flame, and still refused to listen to anyone about anything to do with it.
Evan continued to tell her the same thing to her, to which she stormed out of the training hall each time.
Nicoleta suffered with her powers for weeks, and it seemed each week the control she had over it was slipping.
Finally, after burning her bed the eighth time that week, she stayed after class in the training hall, desperate, angry and ready to do whatever to gain control over her scarlet flame.
Evan had a smug look on his face at the sight of her desperation, which made her more angry than anything but she contained herself.
"We are going to meditate in tomorrow's class- I believe it wouldn't hurt to start you early" Evan stationed himself in the middle of the hall, and crisscrossed his legs, laying both hands on each knee.
"Meditation is all about concentration, you have to emerge yourself fully into what you are doing or else it won't work" She nodded. Nicoleta watched the slow rise and fall of his chest as he slipped into a smooth and steady meditation. He made it look so easy.
So simple, yet when Nicoleta tried it for herself later that night she failed, again and again and again.
When she tried four times over and still nothing happened Nicoleta's temper grew. "Βλασφημώστε την De-Luca." She cursed under her breath. Then she chuckled.
Nicoleta covered her eyes, and sighed heavily into her palmers making a warmth spread through her arms.
She closed her eyes once more, inhaled a deep breath and tried again, hoping she would slip into meditating as easily as he did it, yet no such luck reached her that night, and Nicoleta gave up and went to sleep.
Meditating with the rest of the class didn't miraculously make Nicoleta succeed, if anything it made it even more frustrating to see the others slip into it so simply and somehow she couldn't do it herself.
After class she didn't bother to be modest anymore, none of his methods were working, she needed something else.
She needed to gain control over her flame, she couldn't suffer for the same things that happened in sector twelve to repeat themselves in sector 2. Even the thought of it was gut wrenching.
Sector 2 was supposed to be better, it was supposed to offer improvement not stagnation. It was supposed to be different, sector 2 was supposed to be a chance, a change, an opportunity. She wouldn't let sector twelve cave in on her. She wouldn't let sector twelve repeat itself, not again.
Not after everything she had put into improving.
"Meditating isn't working!" She shouted, her voice laced with desperation, she wanted to rip her hair out. Evan shook his head, as he took a sip of tea. She tried not to explode at his silence.
"It worked for everyone else Ms. Ariti- " Nicoleta threw her arms up, "everyone has a different way of learning!" he nodded in agreement, "I know Ms. Ariti, but I cannot give you special treatment, you learn what the rest of the class does- "
"Give me something else to do" he shook his head. Nicoleta would have pulled out her hair at that moment, heat wrapped around her like a tight blanket.
"Meditating isn't working!" smoke escaped her nostrils when she exhaled, this time she wasn't so surprised, she didn't even notice.
"Please give me something else" He held up his hand, "Ms. Ariti continue meditating, not everyone gets it first try" she stepped back and sighed heavily.
"I've been trying, I have tried more than once" he pinched the bridge of his nose, and placed the tea cup down, his actions indicated frustration, but his demeanour said otherwise, and when he spoke his voice was soft, and calm, almost nurturing.
"Ms. Ariti, you have another class in five minutes," he said calmly.
"I don't care!- help me please!" with the way she said it one would have thought she was commanding him and not practically begging, desperation -though she was angry- very evident in her tone.
Evan stared at her for a long bit, he then sat down on the floors and criss-crossed his legs.
"Sit down Ms. Ariti" she sat in front of him and placed her hands on each knee. "Breath" so she breathed. She closed her eyes, she focused on meditating. It didn't work.
"Don't cloud your mind with any other thoughts, focus" she let out a heavy breath allowing her flame to die out, she calmed herself down, and relaxed.
Nicoleta inhaled, and exhaled, she repeated the sequence. Slowly the blackness began to form into something different, into something she could touch.
The blackness seemed to materialise and as the darkness became solid a still small sound echoed in her mind, she searched for where it might come from and found no place, as she moved a small vibration on her wrist brought her back into reality- it was her watch and she was officially three seconds late to Mr. And Mrs Arnold's class.
She stood up on her feet and rushed out of the training hall. Behind her Evan smiled half heartily.
Throughout the week the same thing happened, she complained she tried to meditate, and then nothing happened.
Evan told her the same thing, she responded the same way.
On a Friday Evan stopped her after class was over, and Nicoleta was expecting the same old thing, this time around he said something different, something that might have even helped her.
"you are forgetting a crucial part of your meditating Ms. Ariti" he told her, as he prepared tea for himself. Nicoleta tilted her head confused.
"What?" she asked. He took a sip of his hot tea. "Acceptance" still confused Nicoleta stood there, waiting for him to elaborate.
Because she hoped it wasn't what she was thinking, she hoped he actually had something else to say other than the same old craziness, about becoming one with her flame.
She closed her eyes in anticipation, letting out a gentle sigh. There was no need to get angry, not until she heard what he had to say.
"You have forgotten that the only way to control your power is through accepting them as your own, and through acceptance meditation- " she didn't let him finish.
"I'm sick of hearing that!" Evan made to speak but she didn't let him, "no! No i will not accept them I won't" she swung her bag over her shoulder, jaw clenched.
"My powers are a parasite, they are to be controlled not befriended" with that she left, not giving him a chance to retaliate.