Anne's POV
The funeral was over, but the grief that followed lingered like a ghost, settling into the walls of the house Marcus had built for us, this had been our first home together and also our dream home.
"Oh dear Marcus" I found myself exclaiming I pain.
He was a good father and husband. The only problem we ever had was concerning his constantly busy schedule, but at some point, I just got used to it.
The kids had cried themselves to sleep that night, their little bodies curled up on either side of me in our too-big bed. I had stayed awake for hours, staring at the ceiling, my mind replaying the last conversation I'd had with Marcus.
"I'll be home soon, Annie." he had said to me lovingly.
I hadn't believe he would come, he somehow usually showed up the next or the day after that. But nothing ever prepared for the reason he couldn't come.
Now, the house felt colder, emptier. It smelled of flowers from the service, their artificial sweetness clinging to the air, reminding me of my loss.
The next morning, I woke up feeling like I hadn't slept at all, I was groggy like I had been hungover from alcohol even though I hadn't drank the night before. I couldn't afford to and let my kids see me in a mess.
I carefully slipped out of bed, making sure not to wake Shelley or Dustin. They needed the rest. They had been through so much already, and even though they couldn't fully understand it, they still felt the loss just as much as I did.
Pulling on my robe, I padded downstairs. The house was silent—a deafening quiet. I shouldn't have felt it, because it was mostly like this, but Marcus...
I walked into the kitchen, instinctively reaching for a coffee mug, but the moment my eyes landed on the empty chair at the dining table, I froze.
Marcus' chair.
I squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself to breathe.
One step at a time, Anne. You'll be fine.
I made the coffee with shaking hands, gripping the counter to steady myself. But the second I brought the mug to my lips, the smell hit me—rich, dark, exactly the way Marcus used to drink it.
I set the cup down so fast that some of the coffee sloshed over the rim.
I couldn't do this.
A knock at the door startled me, snapping me out of my spiraling thoughts.
I wiped at my face quickly and made my way to the door, opening it without checking who it was.
Liam stood there, his hands shoved into the pockets of his black coat, his dark and handsome eyes peering deep into my soul.
"Hey," he said, his usual baritone voice softer than usual, almost a whisper.
I swallowed against the lump in my throat. "Hey."
"I wanted to check on you." He glanced past me, into the house. "How are the kids?"
"They're asleep." I stepped aside, letting him in. "Do you want coffee?"
He hesitated before nodding. "Yeah, sure."
I moved back to the kitchen, busying myself with pouring him a cup. He liked his with a little milk, and without sugar. Anything to keep from looking at him.
"Anne." I heard him call my name. His voice seemed to be coming from a distance.
I stilled. His voice was careful, like he wasn't sure how much I could handle.
I took a deep breath and reluctantly turned to face him. "I'm fine, Liam."
He leaned against the counter, watching me closely. "No, you're not."
I let out a humorless laugh. "What do you want me to say?"
"That you don't have to pretend with me."
His words hit too close to home, and I hated how much they affected me. Everything both of us had was wrong, but I couldn't let it go, it gave me some sort of comfort.
I shook my head. "Pretending is the only thing keeping me standing right now."
Liam exhaled heavily, but he didn't push. Instead, he took the coffee cup from my hands and set it down before pulling me into a hug.
I shuddered.
I let myself sink into it for just a moment, closing my eyes against the rush of emotions threatening to break me.
Then I pulled away.
"I can't, the kids are here." I whispered.
Liam nodded, stepping back apologetically. He straightened up "I know."
A beat of silence passed before he cleared his throat. "Listen, I don't want you to be alone right now. If you need anything, you call me. Okay?"
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
Liam gave me one last look before walking toward the door.
And then he was gone.
I would have asked him to stay, I needed him to, but I couldn't. I didn't want the kids to see him too often around me, at least not immediately after their father's death. My babies were smart, and like I stated before, I didn't want them to notice anything and begin to develop resentment towards me when they become adults. I needed someone now, and Liam would have been a perfect choice, but...
I leaned against the counter, my hands shaking as I tried to gather myself.
I didn't know how to exist in a world without Marcus. And I had no idea how to move forward.
All I knew was that I had to—for the kids, for myself.
Even if it felt impossible.
Now, I began to seriously considering that vacation. It was going to do me a whole lot of good, Liam was right. I would call him later in the day and discuss plans of the vacation with him. I know he would be excited about it. A time for us both together, away from the ever prying eyes of the neighbors. Then I would make love to him as many times as possible and forget all of my worries, even though temporarily.