" We'll talk about that later — right now, it's VACATION time! Hahaha!"
"Well then, it's time for me to enjoy life a little. I don't even remember how many years it's been since I last saw humans in a modern world — and especially one at peace."
Thinking back on it, I've only been to a few universes that even had humans, and none in a modern era. Most of the time, they were fantasy worlds — swords, magic, arcane realms, and all that...
Only three futuristic universes had humans. Two of them were completely new to me back then, but the last one... I knew it all too well, to my greatest misfortune.
The universe of Warhammer 40K. One of the toughest worlds I've ever faced.
The most troubling thing about that universe was that I couldn't harvest souls at all — they either went to the Chaos Gods or to the Emperor.
That forced me to hunt down greenskin-infested planets, but even then, I had to kill hundreds just to gather three or four souls.
Anyway, it was a damn miserable universe — one where I lost far more than I gained.
"Alright, I'd better change a little before going to Earth, or I'll draw too much attention," I said while looking at my reflection in a mirror I conjured with a snap of my fingers.
As I activated the runes on my clothes, my appearance began to change.
My wings folded tightly into my back. My height shrank from 2.98 meters down to about 1.80. My outfit shifted into black jeans, a white shirt, and a red jacket with golden trims and long sleeves.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I noticed a small problem...
My eyes were still strange — even hidden by magic and runes, they kept a faint unnatural blue glow.
With another snap of my fingers, a small dark spot appeared before the mirror. I reached in and pulled out a pair of matte-black sunglasses, putting them on.
"Perfect. First stop — Italy. It's been ages since I've had pizza. I've probably even forgotten what it tastes like."
Turning around, I raised my arm, then sliced the air downward in a sharp motion. A rift opened in the void less than a meter in front of me, expanding into a tall, dark rectangle about three meters wide — a gate of shadows.
A smile spread across Lord Caelvor's face as he adjusted his sunglasses, slipped his hands into his jean pockets, and walked calmly through the gate.
As he vanished into the darkness, the portal folded in on itself and disappeared without a trace.
---
Time: 12:15
Location: Earth / Italy / Coastal City
In a small alley between two houses, a dark doorway appeared out of nowhere. Looking closely, it was impossible to see anything beyond it. After a few seconds, a silhouette emerged from the gate.
"Finally... a peaceful land again."
I appeared in a narrow alley. To my left, a dead end covered in graffiti. To my right, I saw a few people passing by. I started walking.
The first thing that hit me upon stepping out was the sunlight — so bright it almost blinded me, such a stark contrast to my dark Abyssal realm.
The second was the sea — turquoise blue, stretching endlessly. Then came the sounds of people and the smell of restaurants.
" Alright then, pizza time. "
But while some beings decided to take a vacation, somewhere far from Earth... a small surge of chaos sparked to life.
---
Time: 12:12
Location: Heaven / Sera's Office
Sera was in her private office, once again writing and approving important celestial documents, when suddenly her door burst open.
An unusually cheerful angel entered, followed by an exorcist standing at his right.
"Heyyyy Sera! How's my favorite Seraph doing? You good? Not too bored filling out all this divine paperwork every day? You gotta relax a bit, girl — we're in Heaven, might as well enjoy it! Right, Lute?" said the angel as he casually walked toward one of the two couches.
"You are correct, sir," Lute replied in a dry, military tone.
"See? She said I'm right! I'm always right, after all — I'm the best— oh, sorry, haha!"
Sera, who had looked up just long enough to glare at Adam, turned back to her papers scattered across the desk and spoke coldly:
"As a high-ranking Seraph, it is my duty to ensure Heaven operates properly. Speaking of duty, Adam — where are the reports on this year's and last year's exterminations?"
"Ahah... you know, Sera, me and bureaucracy go together like asking a hooker to be a good mother in church — not compatible! Hahaha, you heard that, Lute? That was a good one, right?"
"Yes. Very amusing, sir," she replied, still expressionless.
As Sera was about to scold Adam, who was still laughing loudly, she noticed one of her desk drawers begin to shake violently.
Sensing something wrong, she jumped up and shouted to Adam and Lute, who were still laughing.
"TAKE COVER!" she yelled, flying behind the second couch in the room.
Adam and Lute barely had time to react before Sera's desk exploded in a burst of dark light.
From within the blast emerged a magnificent book adorned with golden engravings, its pages turning rapidly on their own.
Sera, still crouched behind the couch — which had been pushed back several meters by the blast — watched as the levitating book hovered three meters in the air.
After a few seconds, the pages stopped turning, and the book gently descended to the floor.
Sera stood and began flying toward it. But before she could even get close, Adam's voice filled the room — roaring in pure frustration:
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT, LUUUUUUTE! GET MY DAMN HEAD OUT OF THIS FUCKING WALL RIGHT NOW!"
"Sir, I don't believe I can assist you at the moment, sir."
"WHY THE HELL NOT, YOU'RE RIGHT NEXT TO ME, I CAN HEAR YOU!"
"Because my head is also stuck in the wall, right next to yours, sir."
"OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"
Ignoring the two angels' philosophical debate, Sera turned her gaze back to the book on the floor.
As she picked it up, a freezing chill ran through her hands and up her arms.
Looking at its pages, her expression mixed confusion and fear.
"Mind explaining why your damn book just tried to blow up your office?" Adam asked, finally freeing himself (and Lute) from the wall.
"This is no ordinary book, Adam. It contains every being and race that exists — or once existed — in this universe. The last time it reacted like this, God was still speaking to us. And I've never seen it react this strongly before," Sera said, not taking her eyes off the pages.
At her words, Adam and Lute exchanged glances and looked as well.
Normally, when the book registers something new, several traits appear —
Image, attributes, positive/negative balance, abilities, race, etc.
But this time, there was nothing but question marks across every field. Well, almost every field.
On the page, only two things were written:
[ Lord Caelvor of the Abyssal Light ]
Silence filled Sera's private office. None of the three took their eyes off the page.
Only when Adam finally spoke did the room come back to life.
"Seriously? 'Lord Caelvor of the Abyssal Light'? Holy shit, someone's got something to prove."
"Shut it, Adam. This isn't the time for jokes. I need to summon the Seraph Council — immediately," she said, closing the book.
Sera took one last look at the closed tome in her hands, then unfolded her wings and darted down the hallway, vanishing in less than three seconds — leaving Adam and Lute alone in the office.
"Let's go, Lute," Adam said, spreading his wings.
"Where are we going, sir?"
"Where else? We're getting some barbecue ribs."
While Heaven descended into chaos, the one responsible for it all was simply enjoying his best life — blissfully unaware of the storm he had just unleashed.
---
21:02
Location: Earth / Italy / Coastal City
Caelvor relaxed at the end of a peaceful day, sitting on a terrace, enjoying the sunset with a glass of wine in hand.
"Today was a good day."
How long had it been since I last had such a quiet day?
Walking down streets, eating good food, even chatting with three old ladies who were feeding pigeons with bread.
"Well, time to head home," I said to myself after finishing my wine.
I stood up, paid the bill with money conjured through magic, and left.
After finding a discreet spot to teleport from, I returned to my own little world.
Once I arrived before my throne, I clapped twice. Instantly, I vanished and reappeared in another room of my tower — my true chamber.
It had a massive bed large enough for three or four people my size, a huge dressing room filled with clothes gathered from across universes, and a beautiful bathroom with an Italian-style shower and a large bathtub.
Not exactly minimalist given the size of the room, but when you spend most of your time outside, decor and furniture aren't priorities. Maybe later.
"I'll just take a hot bath and go to sleep."
With a snap of my fingers, I returned to my true form, undressed, took a thirty-minute bath, and went to bed.
Just before drifting into a deep dream, a small thought crossed my mind:
"Tomorrow, I'll visit Hell... and find that famous hotel."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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