{ 4 months ago }
The door rang.
She opened the door and her eyes lit up with excitement.
"Akashi!" She said, hugging him by the door.
He smiled softly, one hand adjusting his glasses and the other wrapped around her, "Hey there kiddo. You alright?"
Akira's eyes softened a little, "You came back..." her voice came out small. Too small. The kind that betrayed just how much she'd missed him.
His heart ached a little, "Yeah, I did. Sorry I couldn't come on Saturday, my boss was being a little bit difficult," he said softly, "But I'm here now, smallie," he said with a small smile, his tone gentler than it usually was.
She pulled back as he walked in, closing the door behind him, "I'm not small anymore, Shi. Stop calling me that," she huffed, arms crossed.
Akashi chuckled, low and throaty, as he sat down on the mat, removing his jacket and placing it on his lap, "Yeah, well till you turn 18, I'm gonna stick to it."
"Liar, you'd still call me that even if I turned 18," she sighed, going to her room.
"Well you're not wrong about that, still though, I think it fits you, smallie," he replied, watching her retreat to her room.
"Yeah, yeah. Want some Ramen? I think I still have some left in the fridge..."
"Fridge? What is this place? A dorm room or a personal house?" Akashi said, his brows arched, watching Akira remove multiple ingredients all at once.
"That's what you get for being in Kyoto High, I guess," she muttered, bumping into the fridge with her rear, walking to the table and sprawling all the ingredients, dry or wet, right on it.
Akashi didn't do much, just turned and watched his little sister work.
It was rare for him to experience this. No worries about money, bosses or anything else extra. Just him and her cooking.
Life was easier this way. And although he knew he couldn't stay for long, he'd savor this. Savor...her cooking, her smile, her presence. He'd savor her.
{ 2 months ago }
"HAAAA! YOU LOSE!"
She groaned as she lay back on the floor, her hands burying her face, "Dammit, Yoshida that's not how you're supposed to play the game..."
"Yeah, man, you cheated. Literally, I saw you hiding a card three moves ago," Hinasuke muttered beneath his breath, glaring at the grinning idiot who looked a little bit too pleased with himself for blatantly cheating.
"Yeah? Then find the card you saw—"
"—YOU ALREADY USED IT YOU MORON!"
"Aha! Then that means I didn't cheat! Just played better than you."
"I don't wanna play anymore..." Hinasuke grumbled a little, his cards thrown on deck.
Just then, the doorbell rang.
"Hm? I..I don't think I'm expecting anyone." Yoshida said as he walked towards the door.
"Then ask first," Hinasuke said, reshuffling the cards again.
Yoshida opened then door and to his surprise, it was Akashi. Akira's eyes peeled open as she sat up, seeing her brother come inside.
"Hey, Aki."
"Akashi...what are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you to come at all this month," she said getting up to embrace him.
He smiled softly as he sat next to Hina, with Hina giving him a silent curt nod.
They stared and waited for him to speak. He sighed as he scratched the back of his head, "Well, I don't know how exactly to say this, but..."
"Can't be worse than what Yoshida's already said," Hina commented quietly.
"You're just mad you lost again," Yoshida laughed.
"Guys...let him talk."
They both kept quiet.
It was unusual for Akashi to be here so early, but that tone, the small fragile smile on his face and the way he was avoiding her gaze, she could tell. Something's wrong.
"I...I quit my job."
The silence that followed was palpable. Yoshida even sat down, Hinasuke stopped shuffling the cards and Akira...well she—
"What happened? Did something happen at work? What made you just want to quit?" She said, leaning on the table. She was obviously concerned, but not about her school's tuition fees being paid—no, the scholarship covered that—but it was him she was worried about.
Sensing her rising worry, Akashi chuckled, "Don't worry, smallie, it's nothing major. I guess you could say I've been having a hard time keeping up with my boss' demands. She was kinda making it impossible for me to work there."
"Did you at least find a different job before you quit?" Hinasuke asked.
Akashi's eyes opened as he replied, "Uhm, Y-Yeah, I did..."
Akira's eyes narrowed a little, something about the way he said that...it didn't sit well with her, "What kind of job? Does it need you to—"
Before she could finish, his phone started ringing, "Sorry, that's them," He said answering the phone.
After a few minutes of silence, Yoshida got up to get some Ohagi for Akira, Pineapple strips for Hinasuke and orange juice for himself.
Akashi got up as he placed the stuff on the table, his expression somewhat strange, but only Akira noticed it.
"Sorry, guys, I gotta go. I'll try to come by earlier this month, alright, Aki?"
Akira's eyes softened. Something about Akashi didn't sit right with her, but she nodded and with that, Akashi left.
She didn't see him again for another few weeks.
{ Saturday, 2 December: 5 weeks ago }
She'd just returned from a long day of school. Preparations were being made for the upcoming graduation ceremony.
"I'm gonna be in college soon..." She muttered to herself, walking past the apartment dorm rooms.
402, Yoshida's room.
403, friend of hers she hadn't talked to in a while. She and her weren't on good terms though.
Her eyes closed as she kept moving, still thinking about which college she'd talk to the principal for applying to.
"Maybe I should go to Sehiko College..." She thought, "I'd be closer to Akashi that way, I'd see him more often."
She bumped into the wall. Don't walk with your eyes closed. She kept walking: 407, Hina's room. Hers was the next.
She got inside her room only to find the window open and her bedroom door slightly cracked open.
Her heart sank for a moment, till she heard, "Oh, Aki, you're back?"
Her eyes widened as she saw Akashi peep through her bedroom door like he owned the damn room in the first place and—hold on...
Her ears burned as she stomped toward the door, face burning, armpits itching.
"WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM YOU WEIRDO!?!"
She punched him in the gut, earning a groan as he chuckled, "You weren't here yet so I just let myself in"
"Yeah!? Well my room—!?" She shouted, dragging him out by the ear when the realization hit.
Wait.
How'd he get in?
"How did you get in here? I locked the door."
Akashi grinned as he slipped out of her grasp, "I have my ways," he smugged.
She rolled her eyes, but even she couldn't hide the faint smile on her lips, but still a part of her wanted to know how he even got in.
"I'm sure it's nothing..." she thought.
{ Saturday, 30 December: Last week. }
Thanks to his new job, which she still didn't know what it was, Akira went on vacation with a few of her friends. It was his way of saying 'sorry' and also congratulating her on her graduation. She was in her room reminiscing the good memories she had.
It'd been the most fun she'd had in a really long time.
It's just...
...she celebrated Christmas without him again. She hated that. The fact that the person she loved most wasn't there on the special occasion, but still even as she sat by the balcony of the hotel in the city of Shiroki, she stared at the text he'd sent her a few hours before hand:
"Hey Smallie.
I know you're probably bummed out we couldn't celebrate Christmas together this year, but don't worry, kay'? Your big bro's gotta work overtime this time. Something came up yesterday and work got...busy.
Stay safe for me, alright? And never forget...
I love you.
More than I could ever hope to show you..."
She'd read it at least 7 times. Each time it brought tears to her eyes. She truly wished she could spend more time with him. He'd always smile at her whenever he did little things like scratch his right ear whenever he got nervous, chuckling awkwardly before he'd give her that infectious smile.
A smile that she would've done anything to keep seeing.
{ Friday, 5 January: Yesterday. }
"If you think you're so smart then why aren't you in College yet!? You think everything's so easy for everyone around you, huh?! That if you're not around, life will just move on without you!?"
That shut him up.
Akira was heaving. Her chest rising and collapsing rapidly. Yoshida and Hinasuke stood there, watching the exchange in an awkward silence.
Akashi's eyes darkened a little, an expression too foreign on the blonde's serene features, "If you hate it so much then why won't you tell me? If you hate that I'm never around so much just say it. Say you hate the fact that I have no choice but to go out there. Say you hate the fact that I don't have a say in the matter," his tone dropped, but it had an undercurrent of something she couldn't quite place yet:
"If you hate the fact that I have to work my butt off, day and night because of the life that I'm trying to keep up for you...then. Just. Say. It. Akira."
"Hey, Akashi, I don't think she meant it like that—"
" —Stay out of it. Outsiders have no say in this."
Yoshida's tentative smile faded. Akira's eyes dilated a little. Even Hinasuke glared at Akashi, silent but his eyes spoke for him, "That was low."
"How dare you..." Akira said, her eyes blazing with anger. Her body shook, her fists bawled up as she screamed, her heart pounding in her ears—not out of fear, but automatic regret to what her tounge said before she could stop it:
"How dare you call them outsiders when they've known me better than you EVER COULD!!"
The moment she said that, it was as if the air had been sucked out of the room. Her ears burned as she covered her mouth, eyes wide, heart slamming against her ribs.
She didn't mean that.
She never did.
Never could.
And yet, the expression Akashi wore, the expression she saw broke her.
His eyes looked anguished. He looked like he'd heard the same words he thought he could only ever hear in nightmares and yet, this wasn't a dream. It couldn't be. Not with the sheer ache in his chest.
"A-Akashi, I d-didn't mean that..." Her voice was barely even audible, too shaky to even carry the words across the room.
Akashi didn't say anything. He just did the worst thing anyone whom you care about could:
He smiled and nodded.
And before she could stop him, he left.
{ Saturday, 6 January. 4:16 pm }
"Yeah, I'll just be buying this."
The air was filled with the smell of packed contents. The guy at the till took the things she was buying, scanning them with the speed of a man who truly didn't love his job.
She took her stuff and left the grocery store, her steps slow, as if even her feet were lost in thought.
("When they've known me better than you EVER COULD!!")
She bit her lip as she tried to walk steadily on the pavement. Her throat felt swollen and her saliva tasted a bit salty.
"I didn't mean that..." she barely breathed out, stuffing her hands in her pockets.
"I know."
She stopped dead in her tracks, her head snapped to the side to see him. Just there. Standing there like he'd been walking beside her all this time.
Her tears fell as she dropped her items, "Shi..." Her voice wobbled, instantly wrapping her arms around him, burying her face in his shirt.
Akashi chuckled softly, hand resting over her head, "Still a crybaby, huh, smallie?"
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't—I swear I didn't mean what I said yesterday," she cried into his shoulder, her voice cracking as her arms wrapped tighter around him.
Akashi didn't reply just yet, just patted her as he let her cry. She tried to speak, and even when she did, she'd take a sharp inhale before crying again.
"You don't need to tell me, Aki, I already know," he said softly, his eyes tender behind his glasses, "I knew what you meant yesterday and besides... I'm sorry too."
His voice became softer, "I shouldn't have said all those harsh things to you. You had every reason to be mad with me...seeing as I'm such a pathetic older brother—"
"—Don't start with that crap!" She said, pulling back to glare at him, "I'm the one who insulted all your hardwork! I should've been more considerate!"
He chuckled as he wiped her snot with a handkerchief, "Sure thing, smallie. Apology accepted. Now, let's go and make some Ohagi, yeah? I can see you bought a ton of quick mixes."
Akira's eyes softened as she pulled back, "Yeah, sure... let's go."
They went back to her dorm room and on their way there, met Yoshida and Hinasuke.
The conversation between him and Yoshida was awkward at first, Yoshida insisting Akashi should've been more considerate, but eventually the two solved the issue.
They got in her room, Hinasuke quietly standing by the door next to Akashi, Yoshida all over Akira and bothering her about 'Which Mix brand was better' and Akira, annoyed as she was, couldn't help but laugh at his terrible takes.
The atmosphere was light.
It was soothing.
And when Ohagi was served, for a brief moment, Hinasuke heard Akashi whisper something to himself...
"I wish...I could stay here. Forever."
Those words...
...were the last words Hinasuke ever heard him say.