"So that's what hurts…" Cassian winced as his fingers touched the burn wound on his shoulder. He had removed his shirt to get a better look at the wound.
Celeste had actually marked him.
He was inside 'his' room, and he could finally see his new body fully. Well, at least the gods gave me something to work with. White hair, clear skin, delicate features. He looked like someone who'd never stolen anything in his life. His old face had been forgettable. Useful for a thief. This one would draw attention. Great.
"I never thought I would have a pretty face." He'd never had time to waste on vanity. He stared at his lanky form. "This body isn't the best." He was two sizes away from looking like a delicate twig.
Someone cleared his throat at Cassian's door. His head snapped up to see a confused Lucian. He darted for his discarded shirt on the bed. "Knock before entering," he snapped, masking his embarrassment.
"Dinner is ready." Lucian's voice sounded amused, but he shook his head. Cassian hastily threw the shirt over his head.
Cassian paused in the hallway, staring at the wooden table laid with food. Roasted herbs, fresh bread, and a huge bowl of soup at the centre. The smell made his mouth water. His stomach growled loudly.
Their mother came out of the kitchen with a dainty laugh. "You must be hungry. Come and take your seat." Cassian slowly looked from her to the table. Their youngest brother, Caspian, couldn't have been more than six. He sat at the table, swinging his feet beneath it, eyes glued to the food.
Do they eat together?
"Go sit, Cassian." Leoric's firm voice called from behind him. He turned to face the head of the house. Leoric's height dwarfed Cassian's. The wary look hadn't left his eyes.
Cassian let out a sigh. I might as well eat. He sat stiffly beside Caspian. The younger boy looked at Cassian with wide brown eyes. "Mummy cooked your favourite soup. I heard her say she wants you to feel better," Caspian whispered. Cassian nodded, his mind far from this place. He fidgeted with his fingers below the table.
Lucian helped their mother carry a tray, beckoning her to sit. Losing the argument to her eldest son, she sat opposite Cassian. "How are you feeling?" Her voice was soft, her eyes filled with concern.
If only my real mother looked at me that way.
He looked away, ignoring her question.
"Oh." She sighed, dejected.
Leoric sat at the head of the table. Lucian joined them. Their dinner began.
Caspian chatted with Leoric cheerily. Lucian ate his food quietly. Their mother stared at Cassian with sad eyes.
This feels so wrong. He clenched his fists on his thighs. He felt like a stranger watching the family's intimate moments.
The warmth felt too uncomfortable after his years living without it.
"Why aren't you eating?"
Leoric's voice pierced through his thoughts. Cassian looked up. Lucian's bowl was empty, and so was Caspian's. Leoric stared at him. Cassian shrugged. "I'm not hungry."
A loud rumble came from his stomach, betraying him. Caspian snickered. "Cassy's stomach growled."
"You don't like the food?" The concern in her voice twisted his insides.
Lucian scoffed and reached over. "More for me."
Leoric's eyes landed on Lucian. "Do not take your brother's meal. He'll eat it. Your mother spent time preparing it. Appreciate it." His voice was firm.
Not like she's my real mother.
"Fine, I'll eat it." He picked up his spoon and plunked it in the bowl. It was a healthy brown with vegetables and meat chunks. His senses pricked, and he raised his head to see his parents watching him. One with worry, the other with a masked expression.
"You don't need to watch me, you know."
They looked away.
He paused before putting the spoon in his mouth. Flavour exploded across his tongue. It was delicious. He stared down at the meal, then at his mother. "Thank you for the meal." He hoped it sounded genuine.
Her face instantly lit up. She smiled warmly at him. "You're welcome, Cassian."
Her voice was too kind.
He stood abruptly. His chair scraped against the floor. I can't eat alongside them. I'm not their Cassian.
"Can I finish this later? My stomach hurts." A lie.
"Come with me." Leoric stood, staring at Cassian.
He followed the older man down the hallway into what looked like his study. A large bookshelf lined the right wall, filled with books and papers. A large desk stood in the middle of the room, well-lit with lanterns.
"Sit." It wasn't a suggestion.
Cassian's eyes narrowed, but he sat. He didn't want to cause a scene. Leoric sat behind the desk.
"It must have been a tiring day."
Cassian let out a dry laugh. If only he knew.
"Now that you've awakened, you'll need to be careful. Though it shouldn't be much of an issue. I should have taught you everything you needed to know." Leoric locked eye contact with Cassian. His pulse spiked as he saw suspicion flash in Leoric's eyes.
An awkward silence followed. Leoric raised an eyebrow. "I'm waiting."
The air grew warm. "Waiting?"
"Yes. Tell me what I taught you."
Alarm bells rang in Cassian's head. Leoric was onto him. But how? Cassian sighed, mainly to calm his nerves and buy time. He rubbed his sweaty palms on his trousers. "I can't remember at the moment. It's been a long day." Cassian maintained eye contact.
Leoric's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean you can't remember?" His tone was sharper than a blade.
Cassian shrugged. "I can't remember."
"What's your mother's favourite flower?"
Cassian leaned back, taken aback. "Are you interrogating me?"
"Answer the question."
"You really want to do this now? After everything that just happened?" Cassian's tone rose with each word. He needed to throw Leoric off his trail. The way Leoric looked at him reminded him of his real father. It opened an old wound Cassian had forgotten existed.
"I don't know, Father." He spat the last word with venom. "Maybe if you'd been there more, I'd remember. But you weren't at the ceremony. You weren't there when they locked me up like an animal. You weren't there when you left…" Cassian blinked, catching himself before completing the sentence. What's wrong with me?
"Stop deflecting."
"Deflecting?" Cassian rose to his feet. "You show up after I got treated like that, and the first thing you do is interrogate me? Not a genuine 'are you okay' or 'I'm sorry.' Just tests, like I'm always needing to prove myself to you."
Cassian's breathing was heavy as he glared at Leoric. Something flickered in his eyes before his face hardened.
"You aren't my son."
"Wild accusation to make after abandoning me."
"I had a dream. I saw you fall into darkness. You came back, but you weren't the same."
His stomach dropped. That's how he knew? Through a dream? He let out a sigh. "So what? I'm possessed? Just because I can't remember Mother's favourite flower?"
"You act distant. You flinch when we touch you. You talk differently…"
"I awakened the Arcane string! The priests want me dead! Maybe I'm different because I'm terrified and my own father is looking at me like I'm a monster." His voice cracked. He shut his eyes, shaking his head.
Long silence followed. Cassian saw in Leoric's eyes that his theatrics hadn't convinced him. Leoric massaged the bridge of his nose, letting out a long sigh. "Until we've resolved the issue with the priests, don't leave the house without my permission."
A bitter laugh tore through Cassian's throat. "Sure, keep me locked up here. Abandonment with extra steps." He paused. "Can I leave, Father?"
He didn't wait for a response. Cassian stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. He made it to his room and shut the door, breathing hard. His hands were shaking. Hot tears threatened to spill from his eyes.
He'd used his real pain as a weapon. He threw his father's abandonment at a man who'd actually tried to save him from the priests. The look on Leoric's face when his voice cracked…
What kind of person does that make me?
A knock on his door made him freeze.