Not long after Buggy's "mast incident," he sat at the head of a rickety table in the captain's quarters.
A mug of rum in one hand and his other hand tapping idly on the tabletop like a drummer who hadn't ever learned what rhythm was.
Mohji sat across from him, shuffling a stack of papers like he was suddenly the ship's accountant.
"Alright, Furry Ears," Buggy said, swirling the mug. "Hit me with the news. What's the state of our fine, majestic circus?"
Mohji cleared his throat. "Well, Captain… we're currently headed toward Orange Town. Should be there within a day or two, weather permitting."
Buggy raised an eyebrow. "Orange Town? What's next, Lemon Village? Banana Hamlet? Who names these places?"
Mohji ignored him and pressed on. "Our supplies are… not great. We're low on fresh water; we've got plenty of preserved meat, but it's salty, so without water, we won't be able to eat either. Some of the men are already showing signs of scurvy. Bleeding gums, fatigue, irritability-"
Buggy leaned forward, grinning. "So you're saying half the crew looks like they've been on a two-week bender? Nothing new for scallywag pirates, I'd bet."
Mohji sighed. "It's serious. Without fruit and vegetables soon, more will get sick. That's why Orange Town is important. We can plunder and restock before we make our next push."
Buggy twirled his mug and stared into it like it held the secrets of the universe. "Scurvy. Of all the things that could kill us, it's fruit deficiency. Not Marines. Not rival pirates. Not a sea king the size of a skyscraper. Lemons. Fucking lemons."
The thought amused him more than it should've, and he let out a wheezy laugh. The crew's fate was hanging on citrus. This was not the exciting adventure that Buggy had envisioned when thinking about One Piece. But it was funny in its own way.
"Yeah, yeah," Buggy interrupted, rolling off his hammock and stretching like a man without a care. "We'll dock, buy some fruit, and maybe juggle a few cabbages for the locals. Standard pirate stuff."
He said it lightly, but in his head, Buggy couldn't help but think about where this was all leading. 'Orange Town. Luffy's first real stop after Zoro joins, the Cat Burglar makes an appearance. Canon Central. And I'm supposed to be the mini-boss here.'
He waved the thought away. Screw canon. Screw worrying. Screw lemons. This was his ship now, and he was going to enjoy it.
So, he walked out of his cabin and onto the ship itself. As rickety as it was, it still had a certain standard of quality. After all, he was a rather notorious pirate.
His crew looked at him with a mix of curiosity, fear, and loyalty. They admired their captain deeply, but they had no idea who the person they were now looking at really was.
"Anyway, enough about groceries." Buggy clapped his hands together with theatrical gusto. "Time for something important. Someone stab me."
The cabin went dead silent. Mohji blinked. "...Captain?"
Buggy leaned casually against the mast, smiling wide. "You heard me. Stab me. Slice me. Hack me into sushi. Dealer's choice."
The crew exchanged panicked looks. One man dropped the rope he'd been coiling. Another muttered something about their captain finally losing it.
Mohji waved his hands frantically. "Captain, with all due respect, that's… insane! You just recovered from being knocked unconscious!"
He sounded worried, but in reality, they were more worried for themselves; they were too afraid to directly attack their captain at the end of the day.
A devil fruit user with a bounty of 15 Million Belly was not someone any of them could afford to offend.
Buggy threw his head back and laughed. "Insane? Mohji, my fluffy-eared comrade, you're looking at the Chop-Chop Man! I literally can't be cut. And I am compelled to test that properly. NOW! . Science, gentlemen! For SCIENCE!"
He struck a pose, arms spread wide open, chest puffed. "So come on. Who's first?"
The pirates shuffled awkwardly until one unlucky soul got shoved forward. A skinny deckhand with a rusty cutlass stared at Buggy like he'd just been asked to assassinate his own mother.
"Go on," Buggy urged, wiggling his fingers. "Little slice, right here. No pressure. Well, some pressure. Enough to cut. Do I need to explain how swords work?"
The deckhand gulped, raised the blade, and swung, clumsily, half-heartedly.
The sword passed through Buggy's arm, which promptly detached with a neat little pop, hovered in the air, then zipped back into place like it was held by a rubber band.
The pirate dropped his sword and screamed, muttering apologies and begging for his life.
Buggy grinned, but fully ignored him. "See? No blood, no pain, no problem! Next!"
Another crewman was shoved forward.
Then another. One by one, they were forced to slash, poke, and stab their captain.
Each time, limbs popped off like detachable action figure parts, hovered a moment, then snapped right back on.
Buggy ate it up, observing both their exaggerated reactions and his own powers with a childlike fascination. "Hmm… excellent reattachment speed. Arm rotation is smooth. Must record in mental log."
He also made sure to rate their forms, using his extensive knowledge of how a strong swordsman looked in that world.
"Excellent technique!" he told one pirate, whose strike barely scratched him. "Terrible follow-through, though. Remind me to demote you to swabbing seagull droppings."
"Good clean cut!" he praised another, even as his leg floated three feet away. "But you lack flair. Where's the showmanship?"
By the time the tenth pirate had a turn, half the crew was pale with horror, the other half trying not to puke. Buggy, on the other hand, was glowing with glee.
"This is fun," he said, spinning his head 360 degrees on his neck before letting it fly off completely. It hovered in front of Mohji's face, grinning ear to ear. "What's wrong, Mohji? You look like you've seen a ghost."
Mohji whimpered. "Captain, please put your head back on."
Buggy sighed dramatically, snapping his head back onto his shoulders with a click. "Fine, fine. Killjoy."
It was then that his eyes landed on a new figure leaning against the mast: lanky, green-haired, and bored out of his skull. Cabaji the Acrobat. Buggy recognized him instantly.
"You," Buggy pointed, wagging a gloved finger. "The unicycling drama queen."
Cabaji raised an eyebrow. "Captain."
"Your turn," Buggy said with a grin. "Do it with flair. You look like a flair guy."
Cabaji twirled his sword effortlessly, not even hesitating. With a single dramatic slash, he sliced Buggy clean across the torso, straight through the chest.
Gasps erupted from the crew. It felt like witnessing mutiny… only this time, the captain was rebelling against himself.
Buggy's body immediately split in two, torso floating one way, legs stumbling the other. His head bobbed in midair, still laughing.
"Now that's what I'm talking about!" Buggy crowed, arms floating beside his head like a macabre puppet show. "Clean cut! Crisp delivery! Ten outta ten presentation! You, sir, are hired for my hypothetical death-defying circus act."
Cabaji smirked faintly, sheathing his blade. "Glad to entertain."
The crew was less impressed. They were pale, sweaty, and collectively questioning every life choice that had led them to this ship.
Mohji finally cracked. "Captain, begging your pardon, but please stop asking us to mutilate you! This is madness!"
Buggy reassembled himself in one fluid snap, dusting his gloves off like he'd just finished a manicure. "Mutilation? This isn't mutilation. This is team-building! Look at you all, working together, bonding through shared trauma. That's pure leadership skill! Trust falls are overrated anyway..."
The crew groaned. A few muttered prayers. One vomited over the rail from the stress of it.
Buggy ignored it all, strutting to the bow of the ship. Orange Town loomed faintly on the horizon, its port just barely visible in the far distance.
He planted a foot on the railing, one hand on his hip, the other pointing dramatically toward their destination. "Perfect. Supplies ahead, fresh fruit to cure our scurvy, terrified villagers to entertain me, and a whole new playground for the Buggy Pirates! Boys, the age of the clown is just beginning!"
The crew looked more terrified than inspired, but they cheered weakly anyway. Cabaji just smirked. Mohji covered his face with his hands.
Buggy, however, was grinning like the world itself was his stage. Because to him, it was.