After forty minutes of Amy and I cuddling in the limo, and bender drinking enough hard liquor to put down an elephant we finally arrive and the 20th century auction. I see mom in the distance and nod to her; she nods back with a smile and we both move in with our entourage. She brought her sons, and I brought Amy and Bender. We ended up sitting next to each other. While everyone is seated, I take a look around to see who is here. Mrs. Astor is here, so are Amys parents, a few people I recognize from them buying land in metropolis, and there's many more people I don't recognize at all. The show doesn't really go into it, but this is a really prestigious event. The richest of the rich come here to waste money on things they don't need. Luckily my items are up first so I can zone out until the anchovies are brought up.
"Hello everyone, and welcome to one of the most prestigious auctions of this century, for the first item on our list an ancient record player! This item was used to play music that was placed on records in the past, unlike todays holo-records these records can only produce audio. So well start the bidding at five thousand dollars. There will also be records auctioned off afterwards so this is not just a curiosity but a genuine tool to listen to music from the past."
it didn't take long for the record player to climb in profit, within 5 bids it was already at 1.3 billion dollars, and the bidding war wasn't over yet. bid after bid the price climbed and climbed. People really wanted to be the only ones who could listen to the lost records of the past. After the second apocalypse most recordings, and the internet were destroyed. Most of the data on the past was lost. That's why archeologist made the 20th century such a highly respected field of study.
The bidding finally stopped at 3.9 billion leaving me with 30.9 billion dollars in disposable income. Unfortunately, that was the highest id make today since the rack of records that I scavenged from old New York, were only worth anything to the person who bought the record player.
"Alright! next is an entire rack of records. These records hold the only source of 20th century music today. They can only be listened to with the record player so were started the bid at 100,000 dollars."
Hehe looks like he took my bribe well. It was only a few grand but it was worth it. The wongs who coincidentally bought the record player bid for the rack and no one else did. Leaving me with an even 31 billion dollars. yay for capitalism.
Anyways I zoned out shortly after giving bender 2 million to bid with, he bought the robot punching game again. The wongs rolled in like a big dick in a locker room, and bought almost everything that caught their eyes, no one but mom having the financial power to outbid them. They sent me a curious look every once in a while, but kept their distance. Finally, the big-ticket item I wanted the most, I feared I would have to outbid the wongs and lose a substantial amount of my disposable income.
"And finally, we have a genuine can of anchovies from the 20th century. The last known can in existence. We will start the bidding at 100 million."
I immediately raised my paddle. And looked at the wongs hoping against hope they didn't turn this into a bidding war. Thankfully Leo Wong looked at me and tipped his hat at me. After a few moments the bid was called and for 100 million I got a rotten can of anchovies. The auction ended and everybody went to collect the things they'd bought from the show room. Just as I slipped the anchovies in my pocket, I heard someone behind me.
"So, you the big shot that dating my daughter" Leo Wong approached me, but he had a smile so I returned the smile and outstretched my hand. He took it and shook my hand.
"I wouldn't call myself a big shot yet. I don't have nearly enough political connections to say so." I said pulling my hand back and his smile got wider.
"Bah, you got the money, connections come with time. Politicians always want money for something. that's how connections are built in the first place. Just don't give them too much. Greedy bastards always want more than they need." he said and I nodded taking his advice to heart.
"I'll remember that sir." I say as serious as I can, and he nods. It gets quite uncomfortable for a second but then Amy comes over and takes my hand.
"You ready to go? " She asks in a gentle tone but the message behind it is anything but gentle. 'Do you need an extraction'
"Not quite yet, I was just talking to your father." I say with a calm tone, and she takes my flank. For a second, we have him outnumber and Amy is enough of a socialite to carry conversation on her own. Then Inez Wong shows up flanking Leo.
"So, Amy when you and this bigshot going to give us a grandchild" the show makes this a recurring gag but I didn't expect it so soon, but then I see it a twinkle of mirth in both their eyes. They're fucking with us. Two can play at that game.
"Oh, well planet express has already started tests on nanite injections that repair damage cells from old age so most likely not for another 200 or so years." Amy almost gives it away by giggling but I squeeze her side abut pulling her closer to me. Inez and Leo big proponent for living a natural lifespan, and not extending your life with medical treatments like the professor has done, look horrified.
"We want to live to see our grandchildren!" Leo finally gets out.
"Oh, don't worry the treatment is rather affordable, it will even cut a few years off of your bodies." I say completely ignoring the big issue. Truthfully me and Amy have already discussed using the nano bot injections, and we both agreed that it's worth it. At least until we get bored of living then well just age naturally. I was shocked when a look came across Inez and Leo's face
"You say that the nanomachines make you younger?" this came from Inez. Who looked rather excited
"We wouldn't be in so much pain all the time?" was Leo's question, and instantly I dropped the little shit act I was putting on and turned on my business mode.
"Yes, the nanites turn the elderly back into their prime form. Which is around 23 years old. No more aches and pains from aging, and if you ever get tired of living a quick injection turns them off and allows you to age normally." I finish my whole spiel and they both look excited.
"Wongs stay away from life lengthening procedures, 'cause no matter what you still live like wrinkled old prune. If that not the case then this treatment might be worth it." Leo said appreciatively.
"Well, it will be approved by the EFDA within 4 months. So that will be the time you can buy it." I really just want them to inform all their other rich old folk about the treatment.
"Anyways I think it's time for us to get moving benders getting cranky." Amy says in a smooth voice. though her tone is denoting urgency.
"Am not! I just want to go home and call over a few fembots!" bender says obviously rubbing his eye bulbs. He's sleepy he just doesn't want to admit it. His processors are probably starting to overheat telling him to go into sleep mode.
"Yeah, it's time to leave. It was nice talking to you Mr. and Mrs. Wong. I hope you both have a good evening." I say as I start leading Amy away towards bender with a hand on her side.
Soon we arrived back at the limo with Amy nodding off on my shoulder and bender going to sleep mode. He's laying down on one of the couches like seats. After forty minutes I wake up Amy with a gentle shake. She looks exhausted so that means were going to my apartment tonight. Right after we get the anchovies to the professor. I pay the driver to take bender to his apartment and wake him up there, and Amy and I head into planet express. I head up to the professor's lab while Amy lays on one of the couches outside the lab. I go through a quick sterilization field and enter.
"Professor! I got the anchovies, do you have the clonomat ready yet?" I call out to get his attention, but I'm shocked by what I see, the professor in front of me looks young with red hair in a neat haircut, he still has his coke bottle glasses, but for all intents and purposes he looks to be about 25.
"Oh yes fry, I just finished testing out the latest batch of nanites. They work significantly well. I have the clonomat ready for the fish DNA." I nod still a little shocked that he went through with it considering how much he hated being young in the teenage mutant Leela's hurtles episode.
"Alright let's load it up." I take out the can of anchovies and take the genetic samples of each fish cloning them one by one. after 12 minutes we have 13 fish. They will be sent to a breeding facility where certain chemicals will be injected into them to trick them into thinking it's time to breed. After we confirm they're all healthy adults. It takes another 12 minutes to scan them all and it looks like we have 5 males and 8 females, all adult age, all ready to breed.
"It won't take but a month before we have hundreds of thousands to transport to Decapodia. Especially with the special breeding practices I've been working on."
"As long as the chemicals don't ruin the taste or change their chemical composition to something the Decapodians won't get addicted to. i don't care if it takes a year to get a good enough population to export. Speaking of Decapodians, how is Zoidburg doing in medical school."
"Surprisingly well." The professor answered "He's almost ready to start his internship with doctor Cahill."
"That's good, it would be nice to have 2 doctors here in case of emergency." I'm actually really impressed zoidburg has been speeding through med school. This just proves he wasn't incompetent by ability, but by circumstance. I'm more than happy to change those circumstances. Then again it shouldn't be a surprise that zoidburg had prodigal talents as a doctor, I mean he synthesized a cure for the professor's yeti-ism in just under 30 minutes. Something that won't come up because yeti-ism changes the DNA structure of a human, and the nanites keep or repair the structure depending on what is most needed at the time. These aren't 21st century nanites they are smart nanites and can tell when something isn't as it should be.
After chatting for a few minutes with the professor I went to go pick up Amy and take her back to my place to crash. I called a taxi as we left planet express because I'll be damned if we take a tube this tired. Pretty soon we arrived at my apartment, and I led Amy inside. She was completely unconscious by the time she hit the bed. I crawled into bed next to her and held her close. With a content smile I drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, I woke up before Amy and decided to make breakfast. Bacon eggs, toast, and sausage. I splurged a lot to get the real ingredients and not imitations that most people have to make do with considering pigs and chickens are protected species that almost went extinct in the first apocalypse, and did go extinct in the second but was luckily cloned shortly after. Either way the ingredients that come from them have to be cruelty free, so the bacon and sausage is a little tough but still taste far better than the imitation.
Amy and I decided to take a day off, so Leela and bender went to the Trisolians planet, while we cuddled on the couch and watched Deadpool and wolverine.
It was garbage, moving on.
The day went by pretty smoothly just watching old movies, until Amy said all my circuits was on and I changed the tv over to that pretentious drivel just to appease her. She ended up staying at my place despite it being her turn to play host. We were just too lazy to leave.
The next few days was more of the same but we did go to work I had some miscellaneous package deliveries but nothing truly exciting I immediately avoided that nonsense on Trisol by just not drinking the emperor like an idiot. You may ask why not assassinate the emperor and become the leader of that planet. Way to much work for too little reward the planet is basically in crippling debt, and actually owned by omicron Persi eye 8. Way too little reward to take on their debt.
after 2 weeks of monotony something interesting happened .
"Good lord!!" the professor cried out I had just come in and heard the professor from all the way in the lab. I ran to his lab hoping against hope its not what I thought it was. Surely people weren't stupid enough to launch their trash into space without making sure it wouldn't come back to us. As I entered the lab after bypassing the sterilization field I could see the professor with his smell-a-scope.
"What is it professor?" I ask already dreading the answer.
"Something is coming straight at the earth! Its way off the funk-o-meter."
"Maybe we should get a telescope and see what it is?" I say hoping against hope it's just some particularly stinky asteroid. I really don't want to go to a giant ball of trash. it's not even my trash! Fuck cleaning up someone else's garbage! Soon the professor pulls out an actual telescope and then immediately presses the panic button. "All senior crew to the situation room!"
I follow the professor and sigh no matter how stupid it is I have to make sure this mission turns out well, because whether or not it's a trash ball, we can't just make another one and bounce this one into the sun. physics doesn't work like that. I'm also not in the habit of passing the buck to the next generation.
Soon we arrive in the situation room and all senior staff is there gathered around the table.
"what's the situation professor?" Steve asked first as the technical CEO
" a giant ball of garbage from the 21st century is heading straight for earth" the professor goes on to give background to how the ball was created, how it was sent into space, and the threat we're now facing.