When Lin Rui was certain she had finally drifted into a deep sleep, he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, knowing that her tears and her fear were all because of him.
Then he left, closing the door quietly behind him.
He found Arkan waiting in the shadows of the corridor. Even though the man had technically "left" earlier to give them privacy, he hadn't gone far. He stood there with the patient, terrifying stillness of a man who had seen too much blood to be surprised by it.
Lin Rui pulled the door shut, the click of the latch sounding unusually loud in the quiet hallway. He let out a heavy sigh that quickly turned into a pained wince as his back muscles protested the movement.
"Are you alright?" Arkan asked, his eyes tracking the sharp tension in Lin Rui's face.
"I'll live," Lin Rui gritted out, his hand instinctively hovering near his shoulder. "Let's just get back to the north wing before the sun comes up."
He began to walk, forcing his posture into the humble, slightly bowed frame of Ruhan. It was a role he usually played with ease, but tonight, the weight of the servant persona felt as heavy as his royal robes.
Arkan followed a short distance behind, silent as a ghost. Lin Rui didn't need to turn around to know he was being watched. He could feel Arkan's gaze on his back, noticing every uneven step.
The wound was worse than he had expected. The pain was deep and vivid, far beyond the simple sting of a common cut. It was a pain that yanked him into reality, reminding him that steel against flesh in this world was not a story or an illusion. Every "heroic" moment came with a very real, very bloody price.
He had imagined battles countless times. Swords flashing and slicing through the air, lives hanging in the balance, with blood splashing everywhere. He had read about it, written about it, and even dreamed about it. But no words could describe the actual shock of steel hitting his back.
The way the air was punched out of his lungs, the feeling of his own warm blood soaking through his robes. It was nothing like the stories. You can describe a wound on paper, but you can't describe the way it makes your world turn white with pain.
Damn it, he thought. It really hurts.
As they moved deeper into the palace, the warmth of Lian Zhi's room faded, replaced by the biting chill of the stone corridors. They finally reached the North Wing, his own quarters. Arkan guided him toward his private chamber and gestured for him to sit on the edge of the bed.
"Sit," Arkan instructed, already reaching for a clean cloth and fresh bandages.
Lin Rui lowered himself carefully, a soft hiss escaping between his teeth as his wound rebelled against the motion.
Arkan's hands were calm but firm as he peeled back the blood-darkened fabric. His eyes narrowed slightly. "She didn't tend this well," he said, not trying to sound complaining.
Lin Rui let out a humorless breath, the faintest hint of a laugh in it. "She's a princess," he replied. "Not an Imperial Physician, or a soldier like you."
Arkan snorted softly. "That explains the uneven wrap."
"She was shaking," Lin Rui added after a pause. "I didn't want to frighten her further."
Arkan didn't answer. He just kept working, and the firm pressure of his hands helped Lin Rui stay grounded. But as the cloth hit the raw wound, the pain flared up again, forcing another sharp hiss from his teeth. Arkan hesitated for a brief second, but Lin Rui nodded for him to continue. His dignity told him he could bear it as a real man would.
"You've been careless."
He knew Arkan wasn't just talking about the injury.
Lin Rui didn't respond, though his shoulders stiffened noticeably.
"Even when you avoid her," Arkan continued, "you linger too close. You hesitate when you should move on. You move when you should remain distant."
Lin Rui exhaled slowly, gripping the edge of the bed to steady himself against the sting of the medicine. "I… can't always help it," he admitted, hiding the hitch in his voice as the pain hit him again. "There are moments when I forget."
Arkan's gaze remained steady. "I'm not only speaking about you as Ruhan, but also as the Khan. You linger even when you are wearing the mask of the Khan."
The weight of the words pressed more heavily than the pain in his back. Lin Rui remained silent, wincing as Arkan tightened the final layers of the dressing.
"The court notices everything," Arkan warned. "The Khatun Dowager notices more. If you want her to believe Lady Naram has captured your attention, you're not making it easy for that belief to take root."
"I understand." He sighed in defeat. He knew every word of Arkan was right. "I will do what is necessary."
Arkan studied him for a long moment before giving a small, sharp nod. "I am only reminding you, Your Majesty."
The title was a shield. A boundary Arkan drew between them. He didn't want to overstep, but someone had to tell the Khan that he was losing his way.
"I know," Lin Rui replied.
Arkan finished securing the bandage and stepped back. "I'll return tomorrow to check the wound and change the dressing."
Lin Rui nodded.
"For now," Arkan added, "please avoid Princess Lian Zhi entirely. Let the situation settle. The court is restless. One careless moment and rumors will grow."
"I understand," Lin Rui murmured.
Arkan handed him a cup of water and a small pill. "This will help with the pain. And with sleep."
Lin Rui accepted it without hesitation. A strange sense of gratitude pressed at his chest. He didn't say it aloud, but having Arkan there by his side gave him more comfort than he could put into words.
When Arkan finally left, the chamber fell into a heavy stillness.
Lin Rui shifted carefully, attempting to lie back, only to hiss sharply and abandon the attempt. His back refused to give him mercy. Frustrated, he turned onto his stomach.
Thoughts spiraled despite his efforts to control them. He had convinced himself this distance was necessary for survival. And yet, the moment Kabil had stepped into her room, his resolve had vanished. The second he heard her scream, the "script" didn't matter anymore.
He saw her face in the dark. Her fear, her trembling hands, and the way she had clung to him as if he were the only solid thing left in a collapsing world.
He closed his eyes, inhaling slowly, hoping the medicine Arkan had given him would help him forget the night, even for a few hours. Every muscle ached. Every movement reminded him of the consequences of his choices.
And still, he thought of her.