Mr. Harriet nice to meet you, how are you doing?"
"I heard your situation was quite intense."
"Cut the bullcrap. Just grab the knife behind your clipboard and stab me in the heart already."
"I was only being courteous…"
---
THE BILL
"What? Sixteen grand for trauma response?!"
"Did I transform into an eldritch horror and mutilate myself in my sleep?"
"Sir, you were shaking in your sleep and losing weight rapidly. "
"So I put you guys in trauma "
"That's not what trauma response means."
"Well…"
"Whatever. You guys are out to get me."
---
"What the hell are these scans?!"
"So what, you melt down gold and silver every time you press 'start' on the machine?"
"Sir, each scan is run by qualified doctors and technicians."
"Another load of bull."
---
"Five grand a day for this broom closet of a room? My wingspan could touch both walls. How is this deluxe?"
"Sir, every room in this hospital is deluxe."
"So what isn't deluxe?"
"That would be general ward."
"Figures. Another scam."
"We don't scam, sir. We provide quality healthcare to the people of the United States of Minerica."
"Greedy parasites, the lot of you."
---
"Sir, I have good news and bad news."
"Bad news first."
"Actually the bad news won't make sense unless you hear the good news first."
"You wasted my time a little bit there."
"Good news: you have health insurance."
"Fuck yeah."
"Bad news: it's called Donkey Fart Insurance."
"…Oh no."
"Yes. They specialize in not paying. More technicalities than a lawyer's wet dream."
"So, like every insurance company."
---
At the Office
"Well Mr. Harriet, the insurance covered your stay. You just need to pay the rest."
"How much?"
"$35,000."
"Great news—I have zero dollars."
"But you're a bright student at Last Angel Central University. Surely you don't intend to throw your future away?"
"…What do you mean?"
---
"It's settled: $1,250 per month for three years."
"Now let's talk about your ambulance charges?"
"Nope. I ain't paying for an ambulance I don't even remember."
"Then let's talk about the future…"
"$1,250 per month for three years. Plus $10 per month for eighteen months."
"You guys are greedy, money hugery assholes that are ruining this country .
Scamming the money of the people of united states of minerica"
"Here, sign the papers."
"Fine…"
---
When I finally returned to my rented room, I collapsed onto the couch, exhausted. The kitchen—the crime scene—still had black burn marks on the carpet, but the sprinklers had saved the day.
I exhaled and whispered with excitement:
"System."
---
Name: Harriet Clyde
Level: 0
Skills: None
Stats:
Strength: 2
Virility: 1
Stamina: 1
Intelligence: 4
Dexterity: 1
Technique: 0
Luck: 1
Hmmm. I was in bad pretty shape still the strength is at 2 I do have noodles arms and legs
4 in intelligence is pretty good although I don't know what it Fully entails
Virility, stamina, Dexterity and luck are all at one seems really bad
0 a big fat zero for technique . I will have the system known that I have jorked it in many different ways . For eg. Posh wank - when you put on a condom to masturbate to avoid the mess and the cleanup. Pro tip put a little bit oil in it
OR
Happy Stranger
When you sit on your hand to restrict blood flow long enough to put your hand "to sleep". Then you masturbate with it. It gives the sensation of a second party giving you an hand job, since you have no feeling in your "sleeping" hand. Also known as just "the stranger".
I tried to click on the different stats untill the definition popped up for all the stats
Strength (STR)
Represents raw physical power and the body's ability to endure intense physical activity. It contributes to thrusting power, grip strength, sustained endurance, and the ability to maintain pace without tiring quickly. The system also notes applications such as lifting, holding, or controlling a partner in physically demanding positions.]
Stamina (STA):
Represents overall endurance and recovery rate. A higher Stamina stat allows for longer-lasting performances without fatigue, quicker recovery between rounds, and reduced risk of "early finishes."
Virility (VIR):
Represents vitality and life-force. A high Virility stat reflects overall vigor, reproductive energy,arousal levels, load volume, hardness and the ability to maintain peak performance over time
Intelligence (INT):
Represents mental acuity, memory ,creativity, and adaptability. A higher Intelligence stat enhances problem-solving ability, awareness, and improvisation, allowing for better adjustment to circumstances and maximization of outcomes. It also improves reasoning, learning speed, and the efficiency of acquiring new techniques or styles.
Dexterity (DEX):
Represents agility, precision, and control over fine body movements. A higher Dexterity stat allows smoother transitions between positions, better rhythm, and the ability to maintain balance and coordination in complex or acrobatic scenes.
LUCK :
The system notes its presence but cannot define it. A silent hand shaping outcomes, chance without cause, coincidence made measurable
"That was a lot but seems simple enough strength increases my strength, stamina increases stamina , virility for sex drive, int for everything above, dex for doing moving smooth and luck was mysterious "
[Open Starter Gift Pack?]
"Hell yeah."
The pack cracked open.
1. Two F-tier spins
2. Two E-tier spins
3. Two D-tier spins
4. One C-tier spin
"Seven spins! . Chicks are gonna be lining up for me."
System how many points do I get I am feeling like raising some stats and getting OP
"Body Stats distribution not available"
"Noooo you can't do this to me every op mc has can increase his stats with a press of a button "
"Stats can be gained through hard work and skills and objects from the spins "
"Ahhhhg this this sucks it was finally my time to be OP but fine let's see what the spins got "
"Alright, let's spin the wheel."
It gave me options of different tiers of spin I had
I chose the F-tier.
A glowing roulette appeared before me, spinning like had a world in itself moving with the wheel.
The projection of the roulette covered my entire room and started spinning
Millions of potential results depended on a tiny red needle