As he walked down a crosswalk with yet another old lady in hand, Flat couldn't help but wonder how much longer this was going to take. Don't get him wrong, the young blonde haired man had absolutely no problem with helping people. Anything that brought him closer to his goal of conquering the world through the power of love and friendship had to be worthwhile.
The problem was that his newest friend, the young man he and Svin had kidnapped earlier in the day, had work in the evening and Master V had assigned Flat to help the young man get back to the Clock Tower in time. Apparently the older boy was new to London and hadn't had the time to learn his way around the city quite yet.
It was only now turning to noon so they really should still have more than enough time…
But that still didn't stop Flat from thinking that this short two kilometer walk was taking far longer than it should have. In only a few hours they had already rescued four cats from trees, stopped a burglary, solved a murder case, helped six senior citizens cross the street, and had inadvertently saved London from two completely unrelated zombie apocalypses. Flat saw no sign that their endless detours would be coming to an end anytime soon.
In fact, they were currently standing across the street from their starting point.
Flat was starting to suspect that they weren't going to make it to the Clock Tower on time. Or even that day. Which really was a shame because he had a lot to do after his homework had been quadrupled. Flat had even been looking forward to doing it all…
But Flat couldn't fail… because Professor Charisma was counting on him!
As the old lady thanked him and walked away Flat turned back to his two companions on this trip. The first was Shirou Emiya the hero in training. The second was the unexpected addition of one Shinji Matou who had followed the rest of his class to the Department of Modern Magecraft but had forgotten the route required to get back to the Clock Tower. Not wanting to enter the line of children following Gordes like little ducklings, the wavy blue haired young man had instead opted to join them.
Based on the blue haired mans scowl, Flat also had a small suspicion that the young man was regretting his decision to follow them. Once again it was only a small suspicion. There was however, another far more likely possible source of the man's discomfort and It was always best to be sure just incase.
"Are you ok Captain Seaweed?" asked Flat of the blue haired man "your face has looked constipated for the last hour or so and there is no reason that we can't visit a restroom if you need to. You don't have to be brave and hold it all in."
"What did you just call me?" asked Shinji as he stared at Flat blankly.
"Captain Seaweed head is Captain Seaweed because the captain wears a seaweed on his head" said Flat not sure what there was to be confused about.
Even a three year old should be able to follow this train of logic.
"…That seaweed on my head is my hair" said Shinji as his eyes started to twitch "and I am not constipated. What I am is no where closer to the Clock Tower!"
So it wasn't abdominal movements after all. How peculiar. Oh well, Flat was sure that he would get it right next time!
This train of thought was fortunately derailed by the sudden appearance of a mysterious stranger and there was nothing that could quite attract Flats attention like a good mystery. Or a possible new friend. Or a squirrel. Or a laser pointe-
"Excuse me!" said the mysterious young gold haired women with a polite smile as she slowly walked up to them wearing a frilly dress "I couldn't help but overhear that you were heading to the Clock Tower. My name is Luviagelita Edelfelt and I would like to join you…. I am new to London and I'm afraid that I have gotten lost exploring the city."
Something about that statement didn't quite add up to Flat. Hadn't Master V complained about a drill haired Edelfelt several times starting a few months ago? The mystery of the young women was already deepening. Perhaps she was one of the professors many stalkers? He would have to keep an eye on her.
The professors innocence and virtue may very well be at stake!
"You can join us if you never want to get there" said Shinji as he turned to answer her with wide maniac eyes.
"I beg your pardon?" asked Luvia as she slowly backed away from and looked at the young man in confusion.
"Despite several hours of walking the farthest we have gotten is a parking lot one block from here before getting turned around" said Shinji as he looked pointedly at the redhead "because someone here has a hero complex."
"Sorry about that" said Shirou as he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly before giving a small bow "but I just can't stand by when someone needs help. My name is Shirou by the way."
"…Tha-that is fine I guess" said Luvia hesitantly "I suppose there is nothing wrong with being chivalrous… even in this day and age."
"Lets all just go ahead" said Shinji as he absentmindedly brushed his hair with his hands "I'd like to get back to the Clock Tower sometime today."
"Sure" said Shirou as they started back down the path that they had been heading "It's not like I want to be late for work."
"If we are late then it is entirely your fault" said Shinji as he crossed his arms "you're not the only one who has a job and I left some equipment I need back in the classroom."
"Oh" asked Luvia as they continued on their way "so the both of you are students and work at the same time?"
"Yes," said Shirou "I work as a member of the custodial staff under a private contract."
"What exactly do you do as a custodian?" asked Luvia turning to the redhead "Its pretty rare to earn a private contract outside of the main departments so it must be an unusual position."
"All I really do is try to clean up my bosses messes faster than he can make them" said Shirou with a shrug "It's something of a competition between us. He's winning."
"What exactly does your boss do again" asked Shinji as he looked back at the redhead with a raised eyebrow.
"Our office of the Mages Association deals primarily with illegal aliens" said Shirou with a small shrug "…and sometimes legal aliens too but I'm told that for whatever reason those are pretty rare."
"I see" said Luvia with a raised eyebrow "…if I may be so bold to ask, were you out here because of work?"
"Nope. He's here because we kidnapped him for our nefarious purposes" said Flat causing Luvia to once again stumble.
"At least you admit it" said Shirou as they once again made it to the edge of the small parking lot "hmm, would you look at that, an old lady. Let me go check to see if she needs help with anything."
"Ok, thats it, what gives Emiya?" said Shinji as he grabbed Shirou's shoulder preventing the red head from leaving "why are you trying to delay us?"
"Ah" stated Shirou with a strained smile "so you caught on to that."
"Of course I did" said Shinji as his scowl grew "as much of a brownie you are, you were never this bad. If you were, then you never would have made it to Homurahara on time for classes. And you're not even being subtle about this anymore!"
"Well" admitted Shirou as he looked around the parking lot "I guess it's too late to turn back this time anyway."
"Huh?" questioned Luvia as she along with Shinji looked at the redhead in confusion.
"We have been surrounded" said Shirou as he scanned the buildings around them.
"I had been wondering about that bounded field I took over the first time we got here" piped in Flat with an uncharacteristically serious face.
"Bounded field?" asked Luvia as she finally noticed the unusually deserted streets of London "how did you notice it and when did you have the time to take it over?"
"I smelt it" said Shirou with an unconcerned shrug.
"Huh, so your method is the same as Le Chien's then" said Flat as he nodded to himself "I just saw the bounded field and took it over because I was bored and didn't have anything better to do."
"Th-thats ridiculous" said Luvia as she started looking around for who ever it was that had set the field up "I'm considered a once in a hundred year prodigy and even I couldn't take over a bounded field like that without any preparation!"
"Really?" asked Shirou as they finally reached the closest cars "what exactly is a once in a century prodigy anyway? I would have thought that once a century would be self explanatory but it doesn't quite work out if I can count my master, along with now you, and apparently Flat here to be among that number during an era when magecraft is supposed to be in decline. I'm really starting to feel that genius is overrated."
"Can we please get back on track about that tiny little detail of us being surrounded?" asked Shinji anxiously "like who they are and what they are after?"
The answer to the latter question became readily apparent as several rounds of sniper fire were shot from the third floor of a building across from them… only to flatten against the very bounded field that had once been built to trap it's targets inside. Several more rounds were fired from the other buildings overlooking the large parking lot only to meet the same fate.
"I think I have figured out what they want" said Flat as he raised his hand up (un)helpfully "I might have accidentally left my top secret plans to take over the world on a napkin back at the gas station and these guys are secret agents here to stop us."
"Us?" asked Luvia with a twitch.
"Of course Golden Stalker, did you think I didn't plan for you guys to help me?" asked Flat almost sounding hurt "…but then again this was back before you joined us and we were busy fighting those Nazi zombies so these guys might actually let you go."
Luvia twitched a little more.
The sudden detonation of an RPG against the barrier might have suggested otherwise but no one bothered to comment on it. They were a little too busy hiding between cars.
"So" asked Shinji as he looked around warily "does anyone have any bright ideas?"
"I can hot wire one of the cars" said Shirou as he moved over to break the window of the closest motor vehicle.
"No need" said Flat as he dangled a pair of keys from his hands and motioned for them to enter the open doors of the car he stood by.
"…That's oddly convenient" said Luvia as she went into the back of the car.
"Hey" said Flat proudly "I found my napkin!"