"Good news!! We've won the men's and women's beauty contests! Plus the 'hard root' contest! The funds we've earned are five times the usual annual revenue!"
"Oohhhhh! A triple crown! Sugoi! We have to celebrate with some good alcohol!"
"Of course! Hey, Kotobuki-senpai! I want a cocktail!"
Miyazawa Yu stood in the middle of the crowd and finished his beer. He slammed the glass cup on the table and made his request. It would be too cheap to make a champion drink regular beer! He needed something more high-class, like a Bloody Mary or some other impressive-sounding cocktail!
"Oh— did Azusa tell you about that?"
"That's right~ Azusa-senpai said you used to be a bartender!"
"Well, well— I can't say no. I'll show you my skills!"
Ryūjirō Kotobuki shook his head. Seeing Miyazawa Yu's expectant face, he couldn't refuse. He took off his troublesome jacket and walked to the table, looking incredibly cool!
"Oh..."
Miyazawa Yu had never been to a bar, so he immediately went to watch. He wanted to see what a cool, hidden job like a bartender was like. He then watched as Ryūjirō Kotobuki mixed vodka and whiskey in a 7:3 ratio. He stirred it with chopsticks and placed it in front of him.
"Here you go, Hawaiian Cola!"
"...This is just regular oolong tea! Do it again!"
"I can't. There's not enough variety of alcohol here, and we don't have ice!"
"I don't care! Is this how the Pab Club treats its champions?"
Passing by, Iori Kitahara watched as the liquid Yu called "regular oolong tea" quickly evaporated. His eyes filled with contempt. How could a drink that evaporated by half in five minutes be "regular"? Yu had been completely assimilated!
"Iori! This one's for you!"
"Ah, for me... wait, why is it a washbowl! Is it okay to drink from something like this?"
"Don't worry! It only has two liters of vodka in it. This much is nothing!"
"...I guess so."
Looking at the seniors' pearly white teeth as they smiled, Iori Kitahara's spirit instantly deflated. He could only take the washbowl and feel sorry for himself. Kōhei Imamura was in a similar state. Both of them looked half-dead. But then they remembered Miyazawa Yu's theory that if you obediently drank, you wouldn't be forced. They decided it was time to learn from their successful business partner—to save their underwear!
"Um... hello?"
Aina Yoshiwara carefully opened the door, her head poking in. She was immediately hit by the high concentration of alcohol in the room and stumbled.
"Hmm?"
Kōhei Imamura and Iori Kitahara both turned to look at Aina at the same time and tilted their heads, looking confused.
"Um, well! How do I say this..."
"?"
"Well, you guys, that..."
"Beep!"
Iori Kitahara instantly understood her signal. He turned around and handed the washbowl to the completely bewildered Aina Yoshiwara. He even poured two more bottles of vodka into it to show the Pab Club's hospitality!
"Wh-What is this?"
"As you can see."
"Or do you want something bigger? We have a bucket over here!"
Seeing Kōhei Imamura grab a plastic red bucket and about to pour alcohol into it, Aina Yoshiwara was startled. She quickly waved her hands to stop him.
"No, not that! I mean..."
"Well, it's more fun to drink with everyone!"
"Don't just stand there! Hey! Yu, hurry up and get over here!"
"You jerks! I swear I'll get a real cocktail next time! You promised!"
On the other side, Miyazawa Yu was finally bought off with the condition that he would get three free cocktails. He picked up a washbowl filled with alcohol and went to the door to sit down.
"Ah! It's the Cakey! Long time no see~"
"It's only been ten minutes since we last saw each other..."
"Oh, oh~ Don't worry about the small details!"
Miyazawa Yu rubbed the back of his head and laughed carelessly. He patted the floor next to him and urged her, "Come on! The drinking party has already started! If you don't drink, the seniors will make your clothes disappear!"
"...What is this about? If you want to drink with me, just say so. Don't say my clothes will disappear."
Aina Yoshiwara sighed. She could tell that the muscular guy was trying to help her fit in. She pretended to be stubborn but took two steps and deliberately sat next to Iori Kitahara. However, all the Pab Club members were idiots, so any tsundere behavior was strictly forbidden!
"I'm sorry, but I don't really want to! And what Yu said is true! If you don't drink, your clothes will disappear without a trace! And you'll wake up in the classroom the next day!"
"I agree! You're a makeup monster that's better than a demon!"
"Huh! Why would my clothes disappear! And I told you to stop calling me that! If you do it again, I'm going to cry!"
She wanted to act like a gentlewoman but was instantly crushed. Aina Yoshiwara's face was flushed. She took the washbowl and took a sip. She tried to use the alcohol to distract herself and to give her a little bit of courage.
But the moment the alcohol hit her throat, she regretted it! Why was this so spicy! It was even more intoxicating than all the alcohol she had drunk at Tinker Bell!
"Pwah! What is this? It's too strong! Is it rubbing alcohol?"
"Pwah— a whole basin is nothing!"
"It looks like a lot, but in reality! It's nothing at all!"
Two empty washbowls flew in the air. Not only that, but Iori Kitahara and Kōhei Imamura also took off their annoying clothes. They saw Aina sticking her tongue out from the spiciness and laughed maniacally.
"Don't worry. It's just regular shochu. It's not rubbing alcohol~"
Miyazawa Yu kicked the two pathetic guys. He smiled, picked up a washbowl, and drank all the liquid in it. He then pulled out a two-liter can of beer and put it in front of Aina Yoshiwara.
"Give me yours. The newcomer should just drink beer!"
"Oh, thank you..."
She timidly pushed the terrifying washbowl towards Miyazawa Yu. Aina Yoshiwara opened the beer and took a sip. A look of relief came over her face. "Now this is what I call alcohol!"
"Hey! Yu, what are you doing! You wanna fight!"
Iori Kitahara immediately got up and rubbed his sore back. Miyazawa Yu just gave him the middle finger in response—are you kidding me! You want to give a girl vodka with the water of life in it? You're a monster! That stuff's a higher proof than rubbing alcohol! Rubbing alcohol would be diluting it!
"Well~ it's pretty lively here. Did you make a new friend?"
"It looks like a girl. Do you want to share her?"
"Don't even think about it, rugby club scum. Even if she drinks with us, she couldn't handle one of your tackles!"
Ryūjirō Kotobuki held an empty bottle and joked with the bald-headed rugby club president. He then turned to Azusa Hamaoka and said with disbelief, "At first, they were so against it, but now Yu is on stage without a mask. He's really giving it his all."
"That's right~ I was so shocked when Yu came to ask me for my underwear!"
Azusa Hamaoka held her head and looked gently at Yu and Iori, who were fighting again, and Kohei and Aina, who were trying to break them up. The former was filming everything without a care in the world. Azusa Hamaoka touched her lips as she considered asking Miyazawa Yu for money for the underwear, even though it was a brand-new bra she had never worn because it was too small.
"Mhm! This is the best outcome, isn't it? Even though Yu's identity has been revealed..."
He sat down and handed his phone to Ryūjirō Kotobuki. Shinji Tokita pointed to the school forum, which was filled with discussions about Miyazawa Yu's triangular body. He was both happy and sad. He knew that when Yu found out he was famous, he would probably throw a tantrum. He would have to talk him down later.
"...Who knows..."
When she mentioned the best outcome, Azusa Hamaoka's voice was filled with deep meaning. If she remembered correctly, after the "Handsome Men," when Iori and Yu were relentlessly mocking President Kudou, little Chisa's face had turned a horrifying shade of black. She wouldn't let the three bizarrely-dressed boys off the hook. She could only hope Yu and the others would be able to handle the revenge to come.