"Oh my! I never knew an underclassman like me could be so perfect for the one and only President Kudou!"
When Miyazawa Yu put his hands on his hips and struck a seductive pose, praising himself in a shy tone, the male audience members immediately understood what was going on. Although this show was beyond vulgar, people who live for chaos are like this. As long as the situation is interesting enough, they can set their moral standards aside!
"Omedeto! A long and happy life to President Kudou!"
"This is the kind of story I want to see! So intense!"
"Hurry and take Kudou to the hotel next to the school!"
Everyone stood up. The cries and struggles of the dark-skinned Kudou were completely drowned out by the cheers until another voice entered their ears.
"No! I object!"
Knowing it was his turn, Iori Kitahara smiled at Aina and then rushed out with a microphone. He slid on his knees and hugged Kudou's legs.
"Didn't President Kudou promise to spend our lives together and never be apart? Why would he be with this guy?"
"Heh, how laughable! Kudou has already held my hand and told me his feelings, so of course, we're a better match!"
Not giving an inch, Miyazawa Yu held the upper half of the dark-skinned Kudou tightly, preventing him from speaking, asking for help, or even arguing!
"Oh— a strange lady! The strange lady and this... gentleman are fighting over him!"
Having never seen anything this absurd in his life, and not expecting another master to appear, the host's jaw dropped to the floor as he held the microphone. But the male audience didn't care. The more chaotic things got, the happier they were. They immediately started shouting for the dark-skinned Kudou to choose again. The girls, on the other hand, were furious and started to accuse him of being a cheater.
Powerless, the dark-skinned Kudou watched as his reputation plummeted from its peak. His face was filled with a look of pure horror.
"Wait a minute!"
Just as he was completely desperate and ready to embrace his social death, Kōhei Imamura, whose face muscles were twitching from trying to hold back his laughter, finally remembered his part in the show and stepped forward. He put his hands between the two fighting idiots and, holding back his laughter, said with a serious expression, "Since you both claim Kudou is yours, why don't I saw him in half! One half for each of you?"
"???"
Looking at the saw blade the blond guy took out from under his clothes, the dark-skinned Kudou was stunned.
This was a premeditated conspiracy! They even brought props! What in the world are these guys planning to do?!
"Hmph~ Since Kohei said so, then let's do it!"
Miyazawa Yu turned his head away in defeat. He held out one arm, completely exposing the dark-skinned Kudou's stomach to the saw blade. Seeing Kōhei Imamura about to perform a magic trick, Iori Kitahara couldn't bear to watch and covered his face, crying.
"No! We have true love! In that case, I'll forfeit. Kudou is all yours, mister!"
"What! Are you sure you want to do this?"
Kōhei Imamura squatted down and grabbed Iori's hands. He sincerely reminded him, "This is President Kudou! The handsome president of Tinker Bell!"
"Mhm! I'm sure..."
Iori Kitahara looked up. Nanaka-san had done his makeup before her dad dragged her back to the shop. Now, as he gave the audience a heart-wrenching smile, he had a truly beautiful and tragic look.
"Because the president and I have true love!"
"???"
Completely bewildered, Kudou was 100% sure he didn't know this woman. But she must have some connection to the Pab Club. But if he had to choose, at least this woman was biologically female. It was much better than confessing to that perverted naked man, Miyazawa Yu.
"That's right! We have true love! What happened earlier was just a misunderstanding!"
He took a deep breath, finally breaking free from the grip of those exaggerated pecs. He quickly put his arms around the strange woman. He was so terrified that if he was a second too late, he would be labeled as gay and cemented on the Izu forum's pillar of shame.
"Is that so... how heartbreaking. In that case..."
Miyazawa Yu wiped the tears from his face and revealed a menacing grin. He leaned back and then pushed his chest forward. The lace bra straps instantly broke, and the two bra cups flew out, landing perfectly on the dark-skinned Kudou's eyes.
"You greedy scumbag! This is my parting gift! Take it!"
"Who would want this!"
With his vision blocked, the dark-skinned Kudou smelled the disgusting scent of sweat. He took off the bra with a trembling hand and threw it on the ground.
"That's right! Who would want that!"
Iori Kitahara switched back to his own voice. Before Kudou could react, he pulled his own bra out from his chest and put it in Kudou's hand, saying in a sinister tone, "You wanted my bra, didn't you, President Kudou?"
"That's right! What I really wanted was this lady's bra?"
It was only then that Kudou realized something was wrong. His hands felt rough, and so did her voice. He stiffly turned his head. Iori Kitahara had also removed the wig Aina had lent him. They looked at each other, and the atmosphere was oddly intimate.
"Oh you! What do I do now? President Kudou wants my bra, you see. I'm so shy~"
"There's no other way! Since the president has this kind of preference... we can only silently accept it!"
Iori Kitahara feebly ran into Kōhei Imamura's arms. He twisted his butt and nodded pitifully before gently lifting his JK uniform skirt.
"So what about this one..."
"I don't need it!!!"
"Is that so? How cold... Hello everyone! This is Iori-chan, you see! My special skill is as shown, stealing love!"
"..."
The shock was too great. The audience could only describe this grand, dramatic series with one word: brilliant!
"Iori-chan is so cute!"
"Don't be sad, Mr. Hunk! You deserve someone better!"
"Superb! So elegant! Absolutely elegant!"
The performance was so good it was beyond words. The winner of the "Handsome Men" was now a given! That's right! This was the three-win plan Iori had come up with! The first win was to steal the "Handsome Men" prize money from the confident Kudou! The second win was to use the cross-dressing to slander the dark-skinned scumbag's reputation! They had two wins, and Kudou had a total loss. That was a three-win...
"Hahaha!"
"I knew they still had a trick up their sleeves!"
Shinji Tokita was in awe. He poked the bald head of his neighbor and asked proudly, "Well? What do you think of our new club members?"
"...Subarashii! It's an art form, unbelievable!"
He was so shocked that he reverted to a primal state, clapping his hands like a gorilla. The bald-headed rugby club president looked at the three beasts on stage, who were all hugging each other, and felt like he was seeing the ghosts of Tokita and Kotobuki! No! That's not right! It wasn't just a shadow! They hadn't just copied the Pab Club's style; they had forged a new path for themselves!
"This is great. You've found your successors!"
"Of course! From the moment I saw them, I knew they were the future of the Pab Club!"
On the other side, completely unaware that their bizarre actions had been given such high praise, the combination of a guy in a suit, a cross-dresser, and a naked man had finally laughed enough on the stage.
"By the way, President."
"?"
Kudou was prostrating himself in a state of loss. The repeated attacks had left his eyes completely unfocused. So the Pab Club members, out of the kindness of their hearts, decided to give him a powerful defibrillation with their next sentence.
"We've laughed enough, you can go now."
"!!!"
His eyes were locked on the three strange scumbags in front of him. Kudou's blood pressure shot up from seventy to one hundred and fifty. He was lucky he didn't just pass out! Unfortunately, Miyazawa Yu and Kōhei Imamura had no mercy. Seeing him suffer, they couldn't help but hold their stomachs, stick out their tongues, and laugh maniacally.
Iori Kitahara then turned to look at the Cakey, who was hiding in the shadows, her makeup not yet washed off from crying. He smiled and gave her a thumbs-up. "See! What do you think? Isn't it hilarious?"
"..."
Her eyes were fixed on the farce on the stage. So even a funny character could receive everyone's praise and friendship? Aina Yoshiwara's eyes welled up with tears. She slightly tilted her head and gave two small nods. Two more purple streaks from her eyeshadow ran down her pale cheeks.