Naruto's question hung in the dark alley, heavy with the weight of a desperate plea.
"Please... Grandma Tsunade... You have to come with me. You have to save him."
Shizune, who had been hiding shyly behind her master, took a step forward, her hands trembling.
"Tsunade-sama, please," she whispered, her eyes filled with a compassion that bordered on pity. "He's just a boy. And his friend... if what he's saying is true..."
"Shut up, Shizune."
Tsunade's voice was a sharp cut, devoid of emotion. The silence that followed was worse than any shout. Shizune flinched back as if she'd been struck.
Naruto watched, his heart hammering in his throat. The woman in front of him, the legend he had been chasing, wasn't even looking at him. Her gaze was fixed on the brick wall at the end of the alley, as if calculating the fastest way to tear it down and keep running.
Finally, a laugh bubbled up from her.
It wasn't a happy laugh. It wasn't the fun laugh from the casino. It was a dry, bitter sound, full of contempt.
"Save him," she repeated, as if tasting a foul word. She turned slowly, and the look in her eyes sent a chill down Naruto's spine. All the warmth of the "Ramen Grandma" was gone. This was a stranger. A cold, dangerous stranger.
"And why the hell would I do that, brat?"
Naruto swallowed hard. "Because... because you're a medical ninja. You're the best! It's your duty...!"
"My duty?" she scoffed. "My duty is to clean up the messes other people leave? To fix Konoha's broken toys? Let me explain how the real world works, kid."
She took a step toward him, and Naruto instinctively recoiled. The pressure rolling off her was suffocating.
"People die," she said, her voice low and sharp. "Friends die. Brothers die. Lovers die. That's the shinobi world. It's the only rule that never changes."
Damn... Why does she have to sound so... broken?
"Your friend," she continued, "made his bet the moment he put on that headband. He played and he lost. End of story. I don't bring back the dead."
"He's not dead!" Naruto shouted, frustration and rage bubbling in his chest. "I told you! He's trapped! Sakura-chan is keeping him...!"
"I don't care," Tsunade cut him off. She turned her back to him. The conversation, for her, was over. "I don't clean up other people's disasters. Go home, brat. Forget your friend."
Naruto froze. Go home. Forget your friend. The words hit something deep inside him. The image of Sasuke, motionless in that hospital bed, flooded his mind. Sakura's face, pale and terrified. The old Hokage's face, saying there were no resources.
And now, the only person who could help him... was just turning her back.
"How can you say that?" he whispered, his voice trembling.
Tsunade paused, but didn't turn.
"How can you be so cold?" he yelled, his voice cracking. "I've heard stories about you! You're one of the Sannin! A legend! You're supposed to be a hero!"
"Heroes are the first to die," she said flatly.
"NO!" Naruto roared. The sound bounced off the walls of the narrow alley. "You're wrong! You're lying!"
"You don't know anything about me, kid."
"I know enough!" Naruto was shaking with rage. "I know you're hiding! You run from your debts, you run from your village, and now you're running from a kid who's begging for help! You're not a legend, you're a coward!"
Shizune let out a choked gasp. "Naruto-kun, you shouldn't...!"
"SHUT UP!" Tsunade spun around.
The movement was so fast Naruto barely saw it. In an instant, she was in front of him, her face inches from his. Her amber eyes burned with a fury so intense, so pure, it stole his breath.
"You... don't... know... anything," she hissed, each word a physical blow.
"Yes, I do!" Naruto retorted, refusing to back down. "I know being Hokage is a stupid dream! You said so yourself! But it's my dream!"
CRACK!
Naruto didn't see the punch coming.
Tsunade's hand smashed into the brick wall, right next to Naruto's head. The impact was deafening. The brick under her fist disintegrated, sending fragments and dust into Naruto's face. A crater the size of her fist remained where a solid wall had been.
Naruto was frozen, eyes wide, feeling the heat radiating from the broken stone. His cheek stung from the small fragments that had hit him.
Tsunade stared at him, her chest heaving with deep, ragged breaths. The silence in the alley was absolute. Shizune was huddled against the opposite wall, pale with terror, clutching Tonton.
Tsunade stared at him. She saw the dust on his cheek. She saw the terror in his blue eyes... but beneath the terror, she saw he hadn't backed down. He was still there. Staring right back at her.
He's... he's just like them, she thought, and the rage faded as quickly as it had come, leaving a cold, weary void behind. The same blind faith. The same stupidity. The same determination that got them both killed.
And here I am, about to hit a kid who looks just like them.
She pulled away, lowering her fist slowly. She leaned against the opposite wall, running a trembling hand over her face. The gambler. The risk-taker. Her mind, fleeing from the pain, latched onto the only thing she had left: cynicism and the game.
"Brat," she said, her voice now tired, hoarse. "You really don't know when to shut up."
Naruto was still breathless, his heart pounding a mile a minute.
"You like to talk about dreams," Tsunade continued, regaining her control. A crooked smile, devoid of humor, crossed her face. "You like to talk about saving people. You know what all that is?"
Naruto watched her warily.
"It's a gamble," she said. "Everything in this life is a gamble. You put on the headband, you bet your life. You fall in love, you bet your heart. You have a dream... you bet everything you have, and nine times out of ten, you lose it all. Like your friend."
She straightened up, her composure returning. The professional gambler was back, eyes narrowed and calculating.
"You want me to save your friend. You want me to bet my time, my energy, and go back to a place I swore I'd never return to. Fine. Let's make a bet. You and me."
Naruto blinked, confused by the change of topic. "A... bet?"
"That's right. Your dream against my help."
Tsunade took the necklace from around her neck. The single green crystal tear gleamed faintly in the moonlight.
"This necklace," she said, "belonged to the First Hokage. It's worth a fortune. More than that, it's the only thing of value I have left."
She held it out to him. "This... against all the money you have in that ridiculous frog wallet of yours."
Naruto's hand instinctively went to his pocket. "My... my wallet?"
"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune protested. "You can't! That necklace is...!"
"Silence, Shizune. This is between the future Hokage and me."
Naruto looked at the necklace, then at his wallet. "But that's not fair! That necklace is worth millions! I've only got...!" He opened his wallet. A couple of coins and a crumpled bill. "...enough for half a bowl of ramen," he finished, dejected.
"I don't care about the money, idiot," Tsunade said. "I care about the principle. If you win, you get the necklace. And I'll go with you to Konoha and do everything I can to save your friend."
Naruto's eyes went wide. "Done! What do I have to do? Rock, paper, scissors? Guess a number? I'm great at that!"
Tsunade's smile widened, turning malicious. "No. We're not going to fight. I'd obviously destroy you. And we're not leaving it to chance. We're going to do something... more interesting. A test of skill."
She pointed with her chin toward the end of the alley, toward the main street where the neon lights glowed. "I see you rescued Tonton."
Shizune hugged the piglet tighter, not understanding.
"The bet is simple, brat." Tsunade crossed her arms, enjoying the moment. "Right out front, on the corner, is the 'Golden Moon Pavilion.' The most expensive, elegant restaurant in the city."
Naruto nodded, not following.
"Your mission," she said, "is to go into that restaurant, go to the bar, steal the most expensive bottle of sake they have... one called 'Mystic Golden Crane,' it's almost impossible to get... and bring it here to me. You have ten minutes."
"Steal?" Naruto blinked. "But stealing is wrong!"
"Oh, so the future Hokage has principles?" she mocked. "Fine. Then you lose the bet. Your friend dies. Or is your morality flexible when lives are on the line?"
Naruto gritted his teeth. "Fine. I'll do it. I'll steal the stupid bottle."
"Ah, but there's a catch," Tsunade added, her smile turning predatory. "You don't have to beat me. You have to beat her."
She pointed at Shizune.
"Her?" Naruto looked at the trembling woman holding a pig.
"Shizune is an elite Jōnin from Konoha. And she's my personal assistant," Tsunade explained. "She knows all my tricks and all my evasion tactics. She has permission to use any means necessary to stop you. Non-lethal force, of course. We don't want to ruin the restaurant's upholstery."
"Tsunade-sama, no!" Shizune protested, pale. "That's a five-star restaurant! We'll be banned for life! And Tonton gets scared by shouting!"
"Oink," the pig confirmed, with a pitiful sound.
"Don't worry, Shizune," Tsunade said, patting her on the head. "The brat won't last thirty seconds. He's the least stealthy ninja I've ever seen in my life. This is a sure bet."
She turned back to Naruto, who looked like he was processing the impossible mission.
"What do you say, brat? A test of stealth and infiltration against an elite Jōnin who knows you're coming? All for your friend's life?"
Tsunade sat down on an empty wooden barrel by the wall, pulled a small sake bottle from her jacket, and uncorked it.
"Tick, tock, brat. The clock is ticking. Do you accept... or are you going to go home and cry?"
Naruto looked at her. He saw the challenge in her eyes, the cynicism, the mockery. And he saw the necklace dangling from her fingers. Sasuke's life.
He clenched his fists. "Done! It's gonna be a piece of cake!"
"Good luck," Tsunade said, taking a swig from her bottle. "You're gonna need it."
This is perfect, Tsunade thought as she watched Naruto crane his neck, looking at the restaurant entrance at the end of the alley. An impossible test. He's loud, clumsy, and wears fluorescent orange. There's no way he'll get past the bouncer, much less get past Shizune. He'll lose. He'll learn a lesson about reality. And I'll be rid of him. A flawless plan.
"All right!" Naruto exclaimed, slapping his cheeks to focus. "Total stealth mode: activated!"
Tsunade almost choked on her sake. Stealth mode? This kid? This is going to be fun.
Naruto took a deep breath. Okay, what would Kakashi-sensei do? He'd act normal. Blend in. He'd be... cool.
He adopted what he believed was a "cool" and indifferent expression, popped the collar of his jacket, and started to saunter nonchalantly toward the restaurant's main entrance.
The "Golden Moon Pavilion" had two guards at the door, massive men in black suits.
Naruto walked up, whistling an off-key tune.
"Hold it, kid," one of the guards said, putting a hand the size of a ham on Naruto's chest. "Where do you think you're going? This isn't a playground."
"I'm... going in," Naruto said, trying to sound intimidating.
The guard laughed. "Sure you are. And where's your reservation?"
"My... reservation?"
"Exactly. No reservation, no entry. Now scram, you're scaring the customers."
"But I am a customer!"
"A smelly customer. Get lost."
Just as the guard was about to shove him, a calm voice cut in.
"I am so sorry, sir. He's with me."
Shizune appeared at Naruto's side, Tonton under her arm and a flawless professional smile. "He's my... little cousin. He gets disoriented easily. Please excuse the trouble. We were just looking for the noodle shop."
"Ah, Shizune-san," the guard said, his tone changing instantly. "No problem. Is the boss inside?"
"No, not today. We were just taking Tonton for a walk," she said sweetly.
Hey! She called me her little cousin! And what a liar! Naruto thought.
"Come on, Naruto-kun," Shizune said, grabbing him firmly by the collar of his jacket. "I told you the noodle shop was two blocks down."
She dragged him back into the alley, away from the bright lights. Tsunade was still on her barrel, watching them with an amused smile.
"Attempt number one, failed," Tsunade said, drawing an imaginary line in the air. "You have... let's say, nine minutes left."
Shizune let go of Naruto and dusted off her hands. "Sorry, Naruto-kun. Tsunade-sama gave me an order. And I'm very good at following orders."
"That's cheating!" Naruto protested. "You were already there!"
"Of course I was," Shizune said. "I'm a medical-nin and an assistant. Anticipating Tsunade-sama's needs and actions is my job. I knew you'd try the front door. It's the most obvious, loudest move. It's your move."
Naruto gritted his teeth. She's right. That was stupid.
"Fine," he said. "Then I'll try this!"
Naruto ran back toward the alley, but this time he stopped just before the exit. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"
Five Narutos appeared in a burst of smoke.
"Hahaha!" all six of them laughed in unison. "Let's see you stop all of us!"
"Maximum diversion plan!" the original Naruto yelled. "You five, through the door! I'll find another way in! Go, go, go!"
"YES, BOSS!"
The five clones shot out of the alley like an orange tide, screaming at the top of their lungs.
"RAMEN DELIVERY!"
"SURPRISE PARTY!"
"THE BUILDING'S ON FIRE!"
"WHERE'S THE BATHROOM?!"
Shizune sighed. This kid... is exhausting. Tonton, hold on tight.
She left Tsunade in the alley and ran out to intercept the chaos. The two door guards barely had time to react before five orange kids swarmed them.
"Stop right there!"
"Grab that one!"
Shizune moved between them. It was like a dance. She dodged a clumsy punch, blocked a poorly aimed kick. Her movements were precise, economical. A quick chop to the neck here, a pressure point to the shoulder there.
Poof. Poof. Poof.
In less than fifteen seconds, all five clones were gone in clouds of smoke, and the guards were on the ground, groaning. Shizune stood alone at the entrance, dusting herself off, as passersby stared at the scene.
"Problem solved," she said quietly. Too easy. That means the original...
She looked up.
The real Naruto, meanwhile, was on the roof of the building across the street, watching.
It worked! The distraction worked! Shizune is busy at the front door! Now's my chance!
He looked at the restaurant building. It was three stories high. The kitchen would be in the back.
Here I go. Stealth mode, activated!
He ran across the roof and leaped the gap between the buildings. He landed on the restaurant's roof without a sound. Almost. A loose tile crunched under his foot.
Crap!
He crouched, looking for an entrance. A small ventilation window. Perfect!
But as he crawled toward it, his mind raced. Wait a second. If Shizune's as good as she says, she'll know the distraction was a distraction. She'll expect me to...
He stopped.
The kitchen window! It's the second-most-obvious entrance! She's going to be waiting for me there!
Frustration washed over him. What could he do? He couldn't go in the front door. He couldn't go in the kitchen window.
He remembered the water-walking training.
He remembered the logic he used in the Land of Waves. If the enemy expects a frontal assault, I flank them. If the enemy expects stealth, I make noise.
Shizune expects me to try and get in. What if... I don't go in?
A foxy grin spread across his face.
He peeked over the edge of the roof. The alley was three stories down. He saw the open kitchen window on the first floor. And right below it, on the ground floor, a small, closed bathroom window.
Impossible. No.
He slid down the side of the building, clinging to the drainpipes. It was incredibly easy. His fingers seemed to find holds on their own, and his feet stuck to the brick with almost no effort. Whoa! I'm like an insect! This is awesome!
He reached the kitchen window. He opened it carefully. Inside, chaos. Chefs shouting, fire, steam. And, just as he'd predicted, Shizune was standing there, next to a bag of flour, arms crossed with an "I-was-waiting-for-you" smile.
Naruto grinned at her from the window. "Hi, Shizune! Nice kitchen!"
Shizune startled. "Naruto-kun! Get down from there! You can't...!"
"You're right! I can't!" he yelled. And instead of climbing in, he let go.
"What?!" Shizune ran to the window and looked out, just in time to see Naruto catch the sill of the bathroom window below.
He's crazy! That window is too small!
Naruto hung there, pulled out a kunai, and with a dexterity he didn't know he possessed, he forced the lock on the bathroom window in two seconds. He shoved the window open, dove headfirst into the small, dark room, and landed on the tiled floor with a dull thud.
"Damn it!" Shizune hissed. She leaped from the kitchen window, landing in the alley. She ran to the bathroom door, but it was locked from the inside. "Naruto-kun, get out of there! You're going to scare the customers!"
"Busy!" Naruto yelled from inside. He heard the sound of the main bathroom door lock being forced. Shizune's coming in!
He burst out of the bathroom into the restaurant's main hallway. An elegant waiter stared at him in horror.
"Men's room is flooded!" Naruto yelled, pointing.
The waiter paled and ran toward the bathroom.
Naruto ran in the opposite direction, toward the main dining hall. It was a sea of lavish tables, people eating in silence, and soft piano music. He saw the bar. And behind the bar, on an illuminated shelf, a single tall, dark bottle with a hand-painted golden crane.
Bingo!
Shizune burst out of the hallway, her face flushed with frustration. "Naruto-kun!"
He grinned at her, vaulted over a table (knocking over a wine glass), slid across the bar like a pro, grabbed the heavy bottle, and landed on the other side.
"Got it!"
"Thief!" shouted the bartender.
"Sorry, it's for a good cause!"
Naruto shot toward the main entrance, Shizune hot on his heels.
"Stop him!" shouted the guards, who were just getting to their feet.
Naruto didn't stop. He ran, dodged Shizune, leaped over the guards, and burst out onto the main street, holding the bottle like it was the Chūnin Exams trophy.
Tsunade, in the alley, heard the commotion. Shouts, breaking glass, and Shizune's unmistakable voice yelling, "Our apologies! Youthful exuberance!"
Damn. He's destroyed everything.
She was about to get up and leave, furious at the scandal, when a shadow fell from the sky.
Naruto landed in front of her, skidding on the pavement. He was panting, his orange jacket was stained with soy sauce, but he was in one piece.
He held up the bottle of "Mystic Golden Crane," which gleamed in the moonlight.
"Hey, Shizune!" he yelled over his shoulder, toward the alley entrance where she had just appeared, disheveled and furious. "I think you dropped this!"
Shizune let out a scream of pure exasperation.
Naruto turned back to Tsunade. He set the bottle on the barrel with a dull clunk.
The Sannin was staring at him. Mouth open. The sake bottle she was holding was frozen halfway to her lips. He... he did it. He actually did it.
Naruto grinned at her.
"I won the bet, Grandma. Now, you have to come save my friend."
Silence fell over the alley. Shizune looked at the bottle, then at Tsunade, then at Naruto, in disbelief.
Tsunade slowly lowered her sake bottle.
"Damn... brat..." she said, her voice full of an amusement she hadn't felt in years. She was furious she'd lost, furious about the scandal, but mostly, she was impressed.
She pulled the necklace from her neck. "A deal's a deal."
She tossed it to Naruto. He fumbled, almost dropping it. The green crystal felt cold in his hand.
"Awesome!" he exclaimed. "Let's go! We have to save Sasuke!"
Tsunade stood up in one smooth motion, stretching her back. She felt alive.
"Fine," she said, her voice now that of a leader. "But let's get one thing straight, brat. I'm not going to Konoha. Konoha... and that old man Sarutobi... are coming to me."
Naruto blinked. "Huh?"
"Shizune," Tsunade ordered, ignoring Naruto's confusion. "Pack our bags. And find the manager of that restaurant. Tell him I'm putting that bottle... and all the damages... on the Konoha hospital's tab. In the Third Hokage's name."
She turned and started walking out of the alley.
"And Naruto..."
"Yeah?"
"The next time you call me 'Grandma'... I'll rip your tongue out."
****
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