There are days you think you've finally outgrown your past, that if you walk fast enough and laugh loudly enough, the memories will stop following you. But sometimes, all it takes is a familiar voice to remind you that the past is never as far as you thought.
Yuuto Kase, the boy who was my first love, moved away during the summer break after first year of middle school. I never got a chance to tell him how I felt. Even after three years, he still lives somewhere deep in my heart. If only I could go back in time, if only for a moment...
I walked down the third-floor hallway, my sneakers squeaking way too loud on the polished floor. Maybe on purpose—I didn't really care. Everything was fine until the first semester of second year in middle school, but suddenly everything changed. People started talking, and before I knew it, I was alone. It lasted all the way until graduation. That's why I took this chance—to start over in high school. And now, this is the new me.
The cafeteria buzzed, as usual, but all I could focus on was my stomach.
"I'm starved!" I yelled, clutching snacks in my hands.
"Let's hurry back!" I bounced on the balls of my feet, eager to eat.
Beside me, my friend Hinako just shook her head. "You've really got an appetite for that much," she chuckled.
And this other girl, Nanami, is my friend too. Then, her eyes widened slightly as she glanced at me. "Eating all that today too?"
When I looked back, I thought first year of middle school was the best part of life.
"Makabe!" The voice rang out clearly, cutting through the soft hum of the classroom. Makabe-sensei turned with a calm smile—the dependable presence everyone leaned on whenever homework and tests pressed hard.
Nearby, students gathered around him, half teasing, half genuinely needing help.
"Sensei, how are we supposed to finish the English homework by tomorrow?" one asked.
"Hey, Makabe, want a mint?" another playfully offered.
His quiet laughter and patient answers brought ease to the room.
"Don't worry, that was nothing," Makabe-sensei assured gently. "Just be sure to get it done." His steady demeanor made even the most stressful assignments feel manageable.
Nanami and Hinako poked me gently.
"You say you don't care about guys, but you always stare at Makabe-sensei."
"Are you crushing on him?" Nanami teased, eyebrows raised.
"No way!" I shot back, maybe too quickly, which made the girls laugh even more.
"Then what is it?" her friend pressed, curiosity obvious in her voice.
"I think it's just because his voice is kinda similar to my first love," I replied, confused, watching Makabe.
"What? You fell for someone?!"
"How was he like?!" Hinako and Nanami grinned.
"He was short, calm, but with a high-pitched voice and kind of reserved."
Well...
While peeking at Makabe, I thought maybe it was my imagination, but Makabe-sensei looked a little like Kase. I should let it go.
On my way back to class, thinking: since I react to that man's voice and face, maybe I'm not over Kase yet.
But I couldn't stop thinking about where he had gone. Now that he's gone, I should stop thinking about him.
Nearby students whispered about me:
"Hey, don't you think Harada from class 3 is cute?"
"Yeah. But she's…" They stared.
"No, stop! Don't say that. I don't want any attention," I said to myself.
To turn them down, I desperately started munching on the melon bread.
"Hey, what are you doing?"
"Can't you wait until we get back?" Hanako and Nanami asked.
"Watch this. Now what do you think?" I said, thinking about those boys. "I just can't control myself."
"Didn't you hear those boys just now?"
"You should really try being more feminine. You'll get plenty of boys chasing you," Hanako said.
"I hate boys. I can't get along with them."
"Who needs boys if you have—"
Suddenly, a guy bumped into me, and my bread fell from my hand. The guy swiftly caught it without turning back.
What a nice catch.
"Thanks."
"It's nothing."
What?
I looked up. What?
I don't know why, but a thought crossed my mind:
Was that... Kase?
No. Why did I think that?
It can't be him. He's tall, and his voice is low. Everything is totally different.
But somehow, in my chest, it felt like...
"Hey Mio, you okay? Let's go."
"There's something I remembered."
"Sorry, you go ahead."
"What? Okay."
His height... his voice... why? All wrong.
I started running toward him. Every step I took, I thought:
Why did I think he was Kase? Why did I think he was really Yuuto?
Desperate not to lose him again, lost in thought, before I knew it, I was in the school courtyard. I stopped.
What if he isn't Kase?
The embarrassment passed.
It's fine. I'll face it.
Umm...
"Ka…"
"Hey, Hirota!" A voice came from behind, calling for him.
He stopped and slowly turned toward me. It was him. My eyes were stunned.
Hirota?
"Where are you going?"
Hirota looked back with a smirking face.
But... he looks... like Kase.
In confusion, I whispered, "Guess it wasn't him."
I was glad I didn't say anything. Maybe my mind was fooling me.
I was about to turn back when I spotted someone sitting on a nearby bench alone. It was none other than Nise.
Actually, her real name is Aina Imada. I felt sorry for her—she was living the same life I experienced in middle school. Ostracized by the girls in our class. I think she's strong. She doesn't look bothered. But I don't believe it doesn't affect her.
Our eyes met.
I couldn't pretend not to see her. I thought I should talk to her.
"Hey. Why don't you eat in the classroom? Isn't it cold outside?"
Aina replied with a warm smile, "I'm fine. It's warm outside."
"Thanks for being concerned."
Huh. I think she's really cute. I had never noticed her closely before. Her warm smile made me forget all my stress.
Of course, I absolutely knew why they said things like that.
"Is she really cute?"
"Who? Mio? You think she's that cute?"
"All the boys go after her like dogs. They're truly idiots."
The painful memories of girls from middle school flashed before me. Seeing Aina stay firm and ignore what the girls said made me respect her from the bottom of my heart because I wasn't able to do that—but she can. I wish I could too, but that's not my nature.
Maybe I'm like this keychain.
I never want to be in that situation again.
"Bye. See you later."
"Okay. Bye."
Friends are a must!