"This won't do! Her pushover level is beyond my expectations—" Hayashi shook his head with exaggerated seriousness, then declared righteously, "Sabrina, I'm putting you through special training! We need to build up your resistance to dad jokes—at least so you don't instantly keel over at the first punchline!"
Erina muttered from the side, "Are you sure this isn't just to indulge your own twisted amusement?"
"Who told you to blurt out the truth like that?"
"Just straight-up admitting it, huh?"
"I, Hayashi, live with integrity and stand tall—what wouldn't I dare admit?"
"Then admit you like Erina?"
"Erina is the best in the world! I adore her!"
"Well said, Mr. Hayashi!"
"You two!"
A flustered Erina glared fiercely at Hayashi and Hisako, but her "angry" expression was more adorable than intimidating—more like cute pouting than actual menace.
"Ohhh! Erina-chan's expression just now was so cute! I'm totally smitten—"
"As expected of Hayashi-sama, easily accomplishing what I could never (referring to praising Erina)!"
"Of course! Let me say, Hisako, when it comes to believing Erina is the cutest in the world, we should be comrades, right?"
"Absolutely! We are comrades-in-arms with shared ideals!"
Clap—
The two firmly shook hands, and Hayashi loudly declared, "At this moment, I officially announce the founding of the 'Erina is the Cutest in the World' Church! I am the Pope, and you are the Bishop!"
"Yes, understood, Pope-sama!" Hisako said with utmost seriousness. "I will diligently uphold the core tenets of our church!"
Hayashi felt deeply gratified. He nodded in satisfaction and said, "Excellent!"
Meanwhile, Erina, now flushed with embarrassment to the point of fury, roared, "You two, cut it out already!!"
Why do they keep saying such embarrassing things?!
Seeing Erina's beet-red face, Hayashi couldn't help but chuckle before quickly changing the subject. "Alright, alright, let's hurry up and go catch that Banana Dragon! I can't wait to explore the Galar region!"
"It's called Tropius!!"
"Call it Tropius when it evolves enough to grow lychees, mangoes, and pineapples from its chin!"
"Wouldn't it get tired with so many fruits hanging from its chin? Especially pineapples—"
"Probably not tired, but pineapples are pretty prickly—"
Wait, where's Sabrina?
Oh, she's already laughing herself into convulsions.
Pathetic.
...
...
Route 119.
The environment here resembles a tropical rainforest, with lush greenery everywhere. The tall grass, over a meter high, is perfect for hiding during... outdoor activities—truly an ideal spot for exhibitionist play.
"It really does feel tropical. Is that why it's called Tropius?" Hayashi rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "If it grew in the desert, would it be called Desertius? And if it grew in a dumpster, wouldn't it be—"
"Hayashi-sama, why are your observations always so bizarre?"
"It's not bizarre—it's called contemplating life."
"Whatever you say—"
Hisako averted her gaze, then said with some frustration, "But how are we supposed to find Tropius in this environment?"
The obstructing trees, grass, and bushes are far too numerous. Finding a specific Pokémon in such surroundings is no easy task—it feels like searching for a single rare character in a sea of text, a true test of one's eyesight.
"Guess we'll just have to rely on luck—or maybe ask the locals?" Hayashi stroked his chin. "Hisako, why not try making some Pokémon food to bribe the local Pokémon into introducing us to Tropius?"
Tropius: So you're the one who brought the trainers here?
Oddish: Big Bro Tropius, the trainers said there are great rewards if we follow them!
"There's actually a method like that?" Hisako blinked in surprise before hurriedly rummaging through her backpack. "Then I'll start making some right away."
"Most of the Pokémon here are Grass-type, and Tropius is Grass/Flying dual-type," Hayashi reminded her. "You can make some Grass-type favorites to bribe the wild Pokémon, then focus on Grass/Flying types to win over Tropius."
Damn, this guy really knows how to catch Pokémon.
Meanwhile, Erina gazed despondently at the sky. She couldn't understand—why was her boyfriend so skilled and full of tricks when it came to catching Pokémon, yet so clueless when talking to girls?
...
...
Soon, under Erina's guidance, Hisako produced a small batch (about ten pieces) of light-green Pokéblocks and a larger batch (thirty pieces) of green-and-light-blue dual-type Pokéblocks.
"Alright, everything's ready—we just need the final push!" Hayashi planted his hands on his hips. "Now all that's left is to find a guide!"
Erina facepalmed. Why did something as simple as catching a Pokémon have to sound so... weird when her boyfriend said it?
So weird!
She couldn't help but ask, "So? How are you going to find this 'guide'?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Hayashi struck a pose and declared confidently, "The power of unity shall birth a new school idol, paving the way for the stars to shine! Descend, Sylveon-sama!"
As Hayashi chanted, the Sylveon by his side gracefully stepped forward, flicking its tail elegantly and offering a refined, dignified smile.
That's right, it's me, Sylveon! Master, you can praise me even more! Hehe!
If there were a system panel to observe Sylveon's status, everyone would clearly see its current mood: Super High Spirits↑.
Hayashi raised his right hand dramatically and shouted, "Go, Sylveon-sama! Use the skill, Pack Call!"
'Since when does Sylveon have that move?' x3
Erina, Hisako, and Sabrina (who had just recovered) all froze in confusion.
'What even is this move?' x3
Under their curious gazes, Sylveon nodded elegantly, then leaped onto a tree branch, lounging lazily and yawning softly.
Gasp x3
Perhaps it was their imagination, but the three felt as though they were witnessing a breathtaking beauty reclining on a divan, robes slightly undone, shoulders bare, lips parted, eyes hazy with allure.
Then, with a rustling sound, one after another, Gloom, Zigzagoon, Oddish, and Kecleon emerged from hiding, their eyes filled with hearts as they gazed at Sylveon on the branch.
It was like devout followers meeting their goddess.
"This isn't Pack Call..." x3
"This is Simp Summoning..." x3
Totally owned.
...
...
Soon, with the help of the "simp army" captivated by Sylveon's charm, Hayashi and the others managed to gather nearly a dozen Tropius in the area. After screening, they kept only two with the Harvest ability.
In the games, Harvest has a 50% chance to restore a used Berry at the end of each turn. But in reality, the ability affects plant growth—including the user's own.
In other words, a Harvest Tropius grows bananas on its chin faster, bigger, and tastier than others.
"Mmm—"
Tropius's voice is soft and deep, its temperament gentle and docile—like an older sister in a certain genre who dotes on you unconditionally.
"Hisako—" Hayashi looked at the Tropius eyeing him curiously, then stepped back, pushing Hisako forward. "Your turn now!"
Hisako stared nervously at the two Tropius before her—one 2.5 meters tall, the other 3 meters tall, resembling sentient banana trees. "Um, I'd like to invite one of you to travel with me! I'm a Pokémon breeder, not a battler, but I can make really delicious food."
The two Tropius exchanged glances. The shorter one immediately turned and left, while the taller one slowly lowered its head, leaning closer to Hisako.
"That one prefers battling," Hayashi explained with a smile. "So when you said you don't battle, it lost interest."
"Mmm—"
The remaining Tropius let out a soft call.
Hayashi translated, "She says, 'If you're a breeder offering delicious food, then prove your culinary skills can win her over!'"
"Mmm—"
"I'm the top boss around here—the best fruits always go to me! Don't think conquering my taste buds will be easy!"
As Hayashi translated, he clicked his tongue. 'No wonder this one's so big—she's the boss? This feels like some retired martial arts master seeking a worthy challenger.'
Not that he minded. According to in-game data, Pokémon on Route 119 are around levels 22–25, so this Tropius is at best a "newbie zone boss," maybe level 30 at most.
"Then here goes!" Hisako nervously pulled out the Grass/Flying Pokéblocks she'd made earlier, placing one on her palm and offering it to Tropius.
"Mmm?"
This tiny thing is supposed to impress me?
Tropius eyed the Pokéblock skeptically before reluctantly licking it up and giving it a light chew...
Cue epic BGM "The Great Wall" as Tropius's background turns pink with bliss.
Hayashi and the young lady exchanged glances, then nodded in unison at the sight of Tropius fluttering its wings and bouncing around in euphoria.
This is in the bag.
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