Hayashi had figured it out by now.
This Fletchinder might look scrawny, but it had the pride of a champion—if anthropomorphized in a manga, it'd probably be one of those haughty lolis barely over four feet tall, looking down on everyone.
The kind that made people want to bully her, just to see that arrogant shell crack and tears spill out. How sweet that'd be—kekeke!
"Such a tiny body, yet it downed a whole bowl of chicken aspic..." Hayashi muttered, poking the Fletchinder's balloon-like belly with a mix of awe and amusement. "Pokémon really are fascinating creatures!"
"PEEEEP—!"
The Fletchinder let out a pained cry before viciously pecking Hayashi's finger, making him yelp and yank his hand back.
"Serves you right!"
Erina smirked, watching Hayashi blow on his injured finger. "You just had to poke its full belly. What did you expect?"
Hayashi wrinkled his nose. "I was just curious where this little guy stores all that food! I mean, seriously—how does something so small pack away that much? Are all gluttons in 2D worlds this unscientific?"
Take, for example, Hinata Hyūga from Konoha's Whalefish District—rumor had it she could scarf down ten Menos Grande in one sitting. Yet, no one ever saw her stomach bulge.
"Peep!"
The Fletchinder huffed. "I just hadn't eaten in a long, long time! That's why I ate so much at once!"
"Hadn't eaten?"
Hayashi stroked his chin, eyeing the bird. "So, you are just an ordinary Fletchling from Kalos, huh? Got captured by Pokémon poachers, smuggled to Johto, abused, starved, left in the cold... Then, recently, you mustered all your strength, evolved into a Fletchinder, and busted out of your cage—am I right?"
This rollercoaster of bullying made Sabrina, who was watching from the side, almost blurt out: "Submitting this? If your essay isn't in the kindergarten anthology, I won't read it."
"..."
The Fletchinder didn't speak but instead opened its beak wide, staring at him with eyes and beak agape.
Hayashi frowned in confusion and muttered, "Did I guess wrong? Then why is she so skinny?"
"Chirp!"
The Fletchinder snapped out of it and hurriedly said, "N-no, you guessed absolutely right! Are you the legendary... the one they call the wisest under heaven? To deduce my experience without missing a single detail—that's amazing!"
"Hmph—"
Hayashi smirked proudly, placing his hands on his hips and cockily raising his chin at Erina. His smug, triumphant expression made Erina burst into laughter.
"Alright, alright, we know you're amazing—" Erina felt like she was comforting a child—weird, wasn't she the younger one here? Could it be that the saying "men remain boys until they die" applied even in situations like this?
Hayashi nodded in satisfaction and turned back to the Fletchinder. "By the way, how long has it been since you escaped from those Pokémon poachers? They're not still chasing you, are they?"
"Chirp chirp—"
The Fletchinder shook its head and said it had been a long time since it escaped, and the hunters could no longer catch up.
"That's good." Hayashi sighed in relief. "If those guys were still tracking you, we'd have to hurry up and scram."
Sabrina, standing nearby, deadpanned, "Isn't it a bit late to think about running now? If the Fletchinder really were being chased by Pokémon hunters, wouldn't we already be in trouble?"
Hayashi chuckled and said, "Well, I was counting on you, the golden thigh! Sabrina, the strongest psychic in Kanto, should have no trouble handling a few Pokémon hunters, right?"
Clearly, Hayashi's flattery worked wonders on Sabrina. Her eyes glowed blue, her long hair billowed without wind, and she declared with an imposing tone, "I, the Psychic Queen, am invincible!"
While Sabrina was basking in self-satisfaction, she completely failed to notice Erina and Hisako covering their faces in secondhand embarrassment beside her.
Sabrina-chan, just saying—is there a chance your way of speaking has been influenced by Hayashi?
But...
Never mind. This version of Sabrina is kind of cute too.
...
...
After enjoying lunch, Hayashi and the others packed their belongings, ready to leave this sorrowful city and head toward poetry and distant horizons—meaning, back to the Hoenn region.
"Little one, do you want to come with us?" Hayashi, Erina, and Hisako gathered around the table where the Fletchinder was resting and asked the unusually scrawny bird.
"Chirp chirp—"
The Fletchinder tilted its head at Hayashi and said, "I don't trust you yet! I won't let you catch me."
Hayashi grinned and reached out to tease the Fletchinder, but remembering how hard it had pecked him earlier, he coughed awkwardly and withdrew his hand, putting on a serious face. "Relax, we'd never go against a Pokémon's will! If you don't want to be caught, that's fine. A little bird like you won't eat much anyway—consider it charity."
If it weren't a tiny Fletchinder sitting before Hayashi but a freaking Snorlax instead, Hayashi would probably be sweating bullets as he dialed Professor Oak's number, then toss the gluttonous creature over while the professor struggled to keep a straight face.
But she was just a harmless little bird! One bowl of chicken jelly with meat chunks had her stuffed into a round ball—pfft, with that level of appetite, what's one more mouth to feed?
No big deal.
"Chirp—"
Hearing Hayashi's words, the Fletchinder nodded her head, then puffed out her chest to declare that if Hayashi and the others ever faced danger, she would definitely protect them.
"Pfft—HAHAHA—hic—"
Hayashi nearly laughed himself into orbit. He could already picture a four-foot-tall loli patting her ribcage and boasting about how strong she was, promising to protect everyone—only to immediately faceplant, then scrunch up her little face while desperately holding back tears...
"???"
A giant question mark popped up above Fletchinder's head. She had been dead serious just now—what was with that mocking laughter?
Do I not deserve respect??
Furious, Fletchinder flapped her wings and landed squarely on Hayashi's head, pecked his scalp twice for good measure, then let out a defiant "Chirp!" as she settled in, refusing to budge.
"..."
Hayashi's expression twitched. Beside him, Erina asked worriedly, "Hayashi, what did Fletchinder say?"
"She said..." Hayashi forced a strained smile. "This spot is comfy. I'm staying here now."
Erina blinked twice, then—once she processed what had happened—clutched her stomach and burst into crystalline laughter, like pearls tumbling onto a jade plate: "HAHAHA—w-well, that's not so bad, is it? HAHAHA—"
"Sure, it's great—like hell it is!" Hayashi stomped in place, fuming. "My head is not a bird's nest, dammit!"
"Chirp chirp—!"
Fletchinder proudly mussed up Hayashi's hair with her beak, then lifted her head triumphantly: It is now!
"HAHAHA—"
Erina and Sabrina completely lost it. Along with Hisako, the three of them erupted into synchronized laughter.
The atmosphere instantly turned jubilant.
Except for Hayashi.
...
...
Hoenn Region, Fortree City.
"Wow—" Hisako gaped at the lush, verdant city before her. "This is gorgeous—"
Unlike other cities, Fortree was built in harmony with nature—aside from the Fortree Gym, every structure was a treehouse, making it feel like stepping into an otherworldly Pokémon village.
Erina couldn't help but admire it too. "They've taken eco-friendliness to the absolute extreme. How impressive—"
Meanwhile, Hayashi tilted his head thoughtfully. "Hey, what do you think happens when someone hits their seventies or eighties and can't climb up and down anymore? How do they get into their treehouses?"
Sabrina facepalmed beside him. "Just throwing this out there—maybe they have Pokémon to help even if they can't climb?"
Hayashi pondered for a few seconds, then grumbled, "You answering so fast just makes me look like an idiot."
Sabrina smirked. Were you not one already?
Could Hayashi let Sabrina off? No way!
"Heh." He chuckled lightly, then clasped his hands behind his back, leaving Sabrina with a lonely, snow-like silhouette.
"That night, I went to Erina's place to stay over. She asked if I needed a blanket, and I said just something big enough to cover my belly button would do. So she handed me a glasses cleaning cloth—"
"HAHAHA—hic—"
"Who is the mother of rice? The answer is 'flower,' because 'peanut rice' (a pun in Chinese)."
"Gahahaha—"
"Why shouldn't you mess with Oranguru? Because it beats its chest (super fierce)."
"Pfft—HAHAHA—"
After three jokes that wouldn't even make anyone crack a smile under normal circumstances were thrown at Sabrina, she immediately erupted into earth-shaking laughter.
"Honestly—" Hayashi looked helplessly at Erina and Hisako and said, "Telling jokes to Sabrina gives zero sense of accomplishment! She's such a pushover!"
It's like when playing games—everyone aims to one-shot the final boss of the toughest dungeon to show off their damage, but no one brags about one-shotting slimes in the beginner area, right?
Erina held her forehead and said, "If it's not satisfying, why do you keep teasing her with jokes?"
Hayashi grinned. "Alright! Destination: Route 119, let's go!"
"W-wait a second—" Sabrina struggled to crouch on the ground, weakly gasping, "I—I laughed so hard my legs went weak... I c-can't move—"
Such a pushover. Absolutely pathetic!
"Now I'm suddenly worried about myself yesterday—how could I have pinned my hopes for safety on Sabrina—" Hayashi fell silent for a few seconds before sighing. "If Pokémon hunters were experts in dad jokes, wouldn't Sabrina just fold instantly?"
Sabrina: "Do you really think my sense of humor is THAT pathetic!?"
"Why don't monkeys like parallel lines? Because parallel lines don't have bananas—"
"Do you know how much a star weighs? Eight grams, because Starbucks."
"Why should you commit crimes at noon? Because you'll be caught sooner or later."
Hayashi stared coldly at Sabrina, who was clutching her stomach and rolling on the floor like the Joker, and said, "Even worse than I imagined."
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