I raise my head an evident frown on my face as I notice the teacher scribbling down some more jargons. I turned my gaze staring out the window, waves of disappointment flood my mind in the longevity of the class still going on. This was far from what I needed; fresh air, some wind was all I craved in opposition to the hellish last period called physics I was stuck in. Not only did it suck it also smelled… hell every one smelled like funky crap, I looked at the board a familiar equation, I didn't want to write down. I just needed to get a B so I could move out of this hellish A class. It reeked so badly all I wanted was to be far away from him, I thought in my mind as I stared at the only person in the room besides me who didn't smell like sweat and balls. It was a normal for everyone to be sweaty in this class since it was the period after break, as corny as the teacher looked, he insisted A class to take periods after the break since we were smarter and didn't need much coaching. 'What a fucking joke' all the more reason I needed to leave this place. If I have to look at that idiot's back for another 5 mins, I might just go insane, much less the whole school year. Bad enough that I'm separated from my friends and my boyfriend, having to sit in a class across him is the hell I didn't pay for. I furrowed my brows feeling sour before resting my head on the table. I curse my damn good grades in my previous school at Cresdor.
I could still remember the crisp flames gagging up my chest when mom suggested we move back to Haldi, because her new husband lived and worked there. Although She seemed more excited that my therapy sessions had improved, wanting to test the doctor's suggestions that we move back into the town where the trauma originated from. I didn't care what the doctor had said I had only wished I didn't have to see this place ever again, the whole city reeks of bad vibes. All that crap about facing fears was the last thing on my mind.
Six months in now and I hate to admit but the doctor apparently, was right I... was getting better; no more hyperventilating episodes or chronic nausea surprisingly I was free from PTSD, the realization that I had overcome the fear was liberating… even though it was, why did I feel so sad? why did my heart ache whenever I saw him? Those little momentary flash backs that made me feel like I was getting worse all over again, those were the turning points that made me want to erase him completely from my memory. Completely from my sight. Crazy thing was the fact I could now remember it all fully how the air was cold how helpless I felt, all those years of therapy sessions, of finally finding myself, blocking my emotions had felt like nothing… the moment I saw him my vision blurred it was worse than hell, I've never imagined wanting that hell in comparison to dealing with the poisonous memories of my Tragic past. Knowing now that any further relations with Milo as much as being in the same classroom with him will only bring me pain and exhaustion, I deviated to the one thing I knew… avoiding him. It was the temporary solution; it was the only way I could survive this place.
ʚɞ
The bell rang indicating the end of the last period, I quickly stood up grabbing my bag and exiting the class before the teacher even rounded up. Surely, he had no right to call me back, class was over. I ran as quickly as I could to B class where my boyfriend and his friends were posted as fairly good students and athletics. Spreading my arms wide and pursing my lips I hugged and pecked Jake he'd said he would be waiting for me to finish my class and I was more than thrilled he actually did just like a "good boy" I said out loud as I proceed to kiss his lips and make out with him like no one else was in the room. "ew" I stopped to look over the corner where the familiar sound came from, I shrugged smiling at Perth who was playing cards with Lana. His other friends Henry and Cal had been balled up in a corner sharing a smoke. "It was only a 30 mins class aren't you like a genius?" straightening my back I face Perth one hand on my hip "well I missed my boyfriend so much and… um…. oh... you guys too." I mimicked throwing my hair back in a glamorous display of femboy. Perth scoffed "yeah right must be a hell of a 30 mins separation from your beloved prince" I rolled my eyes jokingly before following Jake who had now hurled both our bags ready to leave for home.
On the ride home, Jake seeming awfully quiet, not that he wasn't on a daily basis, it was just different. Compiled with a serious frown on his forehead. "What's wrong, are you okay?" he shrugged taking a slight glance from the road his faced relaxed in a mask that wears off immediately he says "nothing's wrong I'm fine" finishing of with a short smile and continuing the long quiet drive, obviously he wasn't. he'd been acting nervous for weeks, could it be the surgery? or the fact that his mom would be visiting in a few months? hell I was nervous too. I just don't like seeing him this anxious it puts me on edge. I know firsthand how hard it is to gargle all sorts of emotions on your own. Stealing one last glance in his direction I grabbed his free hand beside me interlocking our hands and turning away feeling his gaze on my side, the subtle squeeze on my hand made me know he appreciated the gesture.
Less than minutes later we were now in Jake's apartment. He lived alone as his dad wanted, so he could concentrate on his studies and sports practice. I had envied his freedom away from home and the much-needed privacy, but quickly understood it was lonely unfortunate mess. Especially since he asked me to move in with him. Our moms pretty much knew about our relationship although Jake's dad either didn't know or just didn't care, I'm pretty sure he would only show great contempt if it affected his studies. My mom had found out when Jake had visited me once and she didn't have a problem with it only the usual pep talks about protection. Jake did say he had shared his sexual status with his mom before and she was more than happy to oblige. Jakes describes his mom as happy, cheerful and the life of the party, she signed an open relationship with his dad because she also was interested in women. Surprisingly his dad had agreed if it was only that, the idea that his mom would oppose his sexuality was the least of his worries, only that she did have an issue of perfectionism and would obsess over choosing or building his lifestyle and partners to suit her taste. Overtime with the distance between them because of her busy schedule as an actress, he barely saw her and simply didn't care about her habit all he looked forward to was to spend more time with her knowing it would always be brief. Jake's mom had called last week that she was going to be visiting him since she had an after party in the city. This had to be what? 3 years? … if I'm correct it had been three years since Jake had seen his mom right before senior high. I wouldn't blame him for being nervous I knew the feeling all too well, being away from my mom during her divorce case, for almost a year had been hell, the anxiety that comes with wondering if you're ever going to be loved the same way is overwhelming. Even Though I had been scared, somehow reuniting with her none of that ever mattered anymore. I put my sunglasses on the table taking out my uniform, staring into the mirror, I was in no place to advise him, hell I was scared too… would she like me?
"Dinner is ready!" kicking me out of my thoughts, I look at the door to see Jake's head peaking through the door smiling. I nod putting on a new shirt and follow him. At the dining table I watch Jake carefully a little grin on his face "Good news?" he looks at me smiling a little " kinda" I frown at his choice of words "what? tell me?" he scoops a spoonful of soup into his mouth pauses to swallow before answering me "The test results out, it's not a dislocation I just need to get an appendix surgery." I sigh with relief but also frown worried about the surgery. It's a good thing it wasn't an athletic injury; he was worried it would affect his ability to Play Basketball, he had always been extra careful. Although this was out of his control it would be better opposed to healing an athletic injury for 1-2 years with no guarantee. "Don't look so glim, it's just a minor surgery and would take 2-3 months to heal, ill be fine." I smile "I'm gladder you'll take it out soon, it must be a real pain" he eats more before spiting out "the surgery is tomorrow evening" shocked I drop my spoon, "what? they moved it up?" … "No, I did" I looked at him confused expression on my face… "I want it out before Sunday" he replied before continuing eating" I stare at him no words "eat your food, it's because I don't want her to see me in pain." I do as he said understanding his reasons. "I'll go with you" he chuckles "Of course, what would I do without you?". We finish our meal in silence; Jake helps me clear the table and I wash up the plates while he goes to prepare for bed. Once I'm done, I also take a shower and go to bed. Jake is already half asleep as I cuddle in and quickly drift to sleep too.