Kael Draven had one wish.
Not riches. Not fame. Not glory. Just one simple, humble, mortal wish.
A pair of damn pants.
But apparently, the gods had looked down at him—pantsless, helpless, and harassed by magical pop-up menus—and decided, Nope. Screw you, buddy.
The gods of fate, the universe, and his own cursed Divine Libido System had instead chosen a different path: throwing women at him like darts at a tavern board.
And right now, dart number three had just stormed into the temple.
---
The doors slammed shut behind her with a thunderous crack, the impact sending a shiver through the stone walls. Dust rained down from the rafters. Even the torches lining the chamber seemed to bow away from her as if intimidated by her presence.
She was tall—easily a head taller than Kael—with bronzed skin that gleamed like oiled steel under the torchlight. Muscles corded her arms and thighs, every line of her body carved by years of training and battle. Her abs flexed with every breath, defined enough to make even statues jealous.
Her hair, long and black as midnight, was yanked into a high ponytail, the style practical and severe. A few loose strands slipped free, softening her otherwise sharp, scowling face.
But Kael's eyes didn't linger long on her hair. Because in her hands…
Was a greatsword.
Not just a greatsword. The damn thing was bigger than Kael. A slab of steel so absurdly massive it looked like it had been forged by a god with poor impulse control. One swing from that weapon and Kael was pretty sure the temple wouldn't have resale value anymore—it'd have crater value.
Kael's jaw dropped. His brain, ever the loyal commentator, supplied the obvious thought: She could probably bench-press me and my nonexistent pants at the same time.
The woman's amber eyes swept the chamber in a single, assessing glance. Then, like a predator catching scent of prey, they locked onto him.
Her voice rumbled low, deep, and commanding, like a drumbeat in his chest. "So. You're the so-called Overlord."
Kael's hand twitched in a pathetic little wave. His smile looked less like confidence and more like a man begging not to be squashed. "Uh… hi? Please don't kill me?"
---
Selvara's laughter cut through the tension, smooth and sultry. The succubus licked her lips, her forked tongue briefly glinting in the light. "Mmm. A warrior. I do love a woman with meat on her bones." Her gaze roamed the newcomer shamelessly, lingering in ways that made Kael blush.
Lysera, however, puffed herself up like an angry cat, clutching her staff so tightly her knuckles turned pale. "Stay back, both of you!" she snapped, cheeks burning. "The Overlord is not some trophy to be fought over!"
The warrior ignored them both, stomping forward. Each step landed like a hammerblow, the weight of her presence cracking the temple's stone floor.
Kael squeaked—an actual squeak—and shuffled backward until his back pressed hard against the glowing altar. His eyes darted between the sword, the warrior's scowl, and his rapidly diminishing escape routes.
"H-Hey now!" he stammered, voice cracking. "Easy with the sword! This temple's got good resale value!"
The warrior stopped so close that Kael could see the faint sheen of sweat on her bronzed skin. She loomed above him like a statue carved for war, her shadow swallowing him whole, pressing down on his chest until he could hardly breathe.
"My name is Rhyla," she declared, her voice carrying like a war drum through the chamber. "Commander of the Broken Fang clan. I was told to test you."
Kael's stomach dropped as if someone had tied an anchor to it. His mouth went dry. "T-Test me? As in… sparring? Or…?"
Rhyla smirked, lips curving with the confidence of someone who already knew the outcome. "As in—"
Her greatsword moved faster than Kael thought possible. A blur of steel, a roar of air displaced—then the blade slammed into the stone beside his head with an impact that cracked the floor. Shards of rock bit into his skin. The sword was so close he could smell the heat of the steel.
"—prove you're worth kneeling to."
---
Kael screamed, stumbling back on hands and elbows. "Do you people ever test with something that doesn't involve almost killing me?!"
The system, cheerful as always, chimed in:
[Quest: Warrior's Trial]
Objective: Impress Rhyla with strength or stamina.
Failure: Be split in half like an overripe melon.
Kael's face drained of color. "Oh come on, that's not even a fun way to die!"
Selvara stretched lazily, wings unfurling like a cat arching its back. "Mmm, I'd enjoy watching this." Her grin promised she'd enjoy it too much.
Lysera stomped her foot, eyes blazing. "My lord will prevail! He has already proven his worth with holy thighs!"
Kael nearly coughed up blood. "STOP REMINDING ME ABOUT THE THIGHS!"
---
Rhyla flexed her fingers around the hilt of her sword, the sound of her knuckles cracking echoing through the hall. "Draw your weapon."
Kael blinked, then blinked again. "…Weapon?"
Her scowl deepened. "You do have a weapon, don't you?"
Kael swallowed hard, sweat trickling down his temple. Slowly, hesitantly, he pointed downward at the glowing fig leaf the system had oh-so-generously provided. "…Does this count?"
The temple went dead silent.
Selvara was the first to break. She collapsed into laughter, clutching her stomach and doubling over. "Ohhh, that's precious. Yes, Overlord, use your mighty 'sword.'"
Lysera went so red she nearly matched Selvara's skin. "M-My lord! H-Have some shame!"
Rhyla, however, didn't even twitch. Her face remained a perfect, terrifying mask. Then, without warning, her blade moved again—
WHOOSH—CRACK!
Kael shrieked and dove sideways, the greatsword carving a jagged trench into the altar where his head had been. The shockwave rattled the entire chamber.
[Dodge Successful.]
[Stamina -0.01.]
Kael scrambled to his feet, panting—then paused. "…Wait. I didn't even feel tired."
The system beeped smugly:
[Reminder: Your stamina bar is infinite. Suggestion: Outlast her.]
Kael's eyes widened, hope dawning like the first sunrise after a storm. "Wait… so if I just run around until she's tired…"
[Correct. Strategy unlocked: Coward's Endurance.]
Kael grinned nervously, raising his fists in what was probably the saddest battle stance in history. "I can work with that."
---
What followed was possibly the dumbest "battle" ever recorded in temple history.
Rhyla swung, her greatsword howling through the air. Kael screamed like a child and bolted.
Rhyla charged, her boots hammering the stone. Kael tripped over his own feet, rolled in a panic, and somehow scrambled away.
On the sidelines, Selvara and Lysera devolved into live commentary.
Selvara purred, crossing her legs. "Ohhh, look at him run. Such stamina. Such grace."
Lysera huffed, gripping her staff. "He's not fighting, he's just dodging!"
Selvara smirked. "Dodging is foreplay where I come from."
Lysera's ears practically steamed. "Y-You demonic harlot!"
Meanwhile, Kael continued his survival marathon. Dust filled the air, the floor cracked under repeated swings, and sweat poured down Rhyla's bronzed skin. Her shoulders heaved, her breaths turning ragged, every motion slower than the last.
Kael, however, felt annoyingly fresh. He even started jogging in lazy circles around her just to rub it in. "Hey Rhyla, getting a little winded there? Should I fetch some water, maybe a towel?"
The warrior roared, raising her sword for one last desperate swing. But her strength finally betrayed her—the weapon slipped from her fingers, clattering to the ground like a fallen tower.
She collapsed to one knee, chest heaving, sweat dripping down her jaw.
Kael, shockingly calm now, walked up, leaned over, and poked her forehead with a single finger. "Boop. Guess I win?"
---
The chamber went silent.
Rhyla raised her head, eyes blazing with a fierce, burning fire—not anger, but something hotter, heavier.
"You…" she panted. "You have stamina beyond reason. Strength of spirit… and the courage to face me without flinching."
Kael blinked. Then sputtered. "Uh, correction, I flinched a lot. Like, constantly. Screaming, tripping—did no one else see that?"
Rhyla ignored him, voice steady now. She placed a fist over her chest in a warrior's salute. "I, Rhyla of the Broken Fang, pledge my blade to you. Overlord… take me as yours."
Kael's mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. His brain fizzed like water on hot oil.
"…Did I just seduce her by cardio?!"
The system chimed sweetly:
[Affection +40. Rhyla the Warrior is now loyal.]
Kael's brain short-circuited. His mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping on dry land. "Wh-wh-wh-what?! T-Take you?!" His voice cracked so badly it echoed embarrassingly in the vaulted chamber.
The system chimed in with the subtlety of a drunk bard:
[Waifu Acquired: Rhyla the Warrior.]
[Trait: Tsundere Musclehead.]
[Warning: May accidentally break your pelvis during cuddling.]
Kael stared at the glowing text, his jaw dangling. "Wh—why… why does it keep giving me warnings about cuddling?! What the hell kind of system thinks that's a death flag?!"
---
Selvara strutted closer, her hips swaying like a metronome set to "sin." She circled Rhyla, licking her lips as if eyeing up a meal. "Mmm, look at those muscles. Strong arms, tight abs, legs that could crush a man… Overlord, she's a fine catch. I wouldn't mind sharing her."
Her purr carried the weight of suggestion—hot, heavy, and dangerous.
Lysera squeaked like a boiling kettle. Her face went scarlet as she shoved Selvara back with surprising force. "Y-You will not! My lord's harem must remain pure!"
Rhyla froze mid-cross of her arms, her brows furrowing. "…Harem? What harem?"
The words struck like an axe to Kael's skull. He dragged his palms down his face until his fingers hooked into his hair. "Oh gods… not this conversation again…"
---
The system, ever helpful, chimed cheerfully:
[Harem Stability: 3% — CRITICAL DANGER.]
Kael's head snapped up, panic flickering across his face. "It's dropping?! How is it dropping?! I didn't even do anything this time!"
The entire temple rumbled, stone dust drifting from the ceiling like snow. It felt less like a holy structure and more like the universe itself was laughing at him.
[Quest Update: Recruit more waifus to stabilize harem.]
Kael's scream of anguish bounced off the marble walls. "More?! I can barely keep three from killing each other!"
The temple doors, traitors to his sanity, groaned open again. A chill draft swept in, carrying the scent of something new—something dangerous. Another silhouette emerged, tall and ominous in the flickering light.
Kael didn't even wait to see who—or what—it was. He dropped to his knees, hands raised to the heavens in sheer despair.
"PLEASE! I JUST WANT SOME DAMN PANTS!"
The system responded with cruel timing:
[Denied.]
[Incoming Target: Waifu #4.]