Kael had one dream left in life.
Not treasure piled to the ceiling. Not his name etched into the annals of history. Not even the fabled title of Overlord of Lust that the damn system kept dangling over his head.
No—his final, desperate dream was far humbler: to close his eyes and actually take a nap without being turned into a battlefield for three very different, very armed, very jealous women.
But that fragile dream died the moment a shrill ding! split the silence.
A glowing screen flashed before his eyes, its golden letters hammering nails into the coffin of his peace.
[New Quest: Clear the Dungeon of Desire.]
[Objective: Retrieve the Sacred Pillow of Eternal Rest.]
[Reward: +100 Stability, unique artifact, increased Harem Capacity.]
[Failure: -50 Stability. Harem infighting imminent.]
Kael froze mid-yawn, rubbing his eyes like the words might vanish if he squinted hard enough.
"…Did you say Sacred Pillow of Eternal Rest?" His voice cracked like a dying rooster.
The system chimed again, perfectly calm, perfectly cruel.
[Correct. The comfiest pillow in existence.]
Time slowed.
Kael's eyes went wide. His lips quivered. His knees buckled. With all the grace of a collapsing sandcastle, he sank onto the cold temple floor, clutching his chest as if he'd just been told the heavens themselves were opening.
Tears streamed down his cheeks. Not the noble kind shed by heroes at the sight of justice—but the raw, ugly sobbing of a man who had spent one too many nights as the unwilling centerpiece of a cuddle-pile warzone.
His shoulders shook. His voice broke.
"I…" He sniffled, fists trembling. "…I HAVE TO GET THAT PILLOW!"
The words echoed through the temple like a battle cry, though any onlooker would note the only thing Kael looked ready to battle was his own exhaustion.
Entering the Dungeon:
The so-called "Dungeon of Desire" lay just outside the town's crumbling stone walls, wedged between two jagged hills. At first glance, it looked like nothing more than another cave mouth—until Kael's brain caught up with his eyes.
The entrance wasn't just a cave. The rock face had been carved—no, sculpted—into two towering figures pressed together in an embrace so exaggerated it looked ripped from the pages of some forbidden tavern sketchbook. Their torsos arched forward, curves polished smooth by centuries of weathering, the twin outlines forming the mouth of the cave.
Kael's jaw went slack. "Oh, for the love of—"
Selvara, ever the sensual succubus, ran a clawed finger along the air as though tracing the shape of the statues. A low, satisfied purr rumbled in her throat. "Mmm… tasteful architecture. Whoever carved this had an eye for… detail."
Lysera, on the other hand, gasped like she'd just walked into a brothel mid-shift. Her pale cheeks lit up scarlet, and she spun halfway around to cover her face with both hands. "Indecent!" she squeaked, peeking between her fingers despite herself.
Rhyla squinted up at the statues, unimpressed. Her warrior's gaze lingered only a second before she folded her arms across her chest and snorted. "Looks like boobs. Let's go."
Kael slapped both palms over his face, dragging them down until his cheeks sagged like melting wax. "Why," he groaned, his voice echoing against the stone, "is everything in this world horny?!"
No one answered.
Inside, the cavern was no less subtle. The moment they stepped beyond the statues' shadow, the air changed. The torches along the walls flickered to life of their own accord, casting a golden glow that illuminated carvings etched deep into the rock—figures entwined in eternal embrace, hands, mouths, and bodies locked together in a parade of positions Kael definitely hadn't seen in the holy scriptures.
From cracks in the stone, water trickled down into shallow basins, but instead of dripping with the cool clarity of spring water, the liquid glistened thick and pearlescent. It caught the torchlight in a way that made Kael immediately—and involuntarily—take three horrified steps back.
And then there was the air. Heavy. Sweet. A cloying perfume clung to every breath, sticking to the back of his throat like honey. Kael gagged, waving his hands as if that could clear it.
The system's cheerful chime rang in his skull.
[Dungeon of Desire detected. Warning: Traps may induce extreme arousal.]
Kael's heart skipped. His stomach dropped. His eyes bulged so wide Selvara glanced over and actually chuckled.
"…You mean," Kael whispered, his voice quivering, "this is literally a sex dungeon?!"
The system paused just long enough to make him hope it wouldn't answer.
[Correction: It is literally a dungeon with sex.]
Kael screamed, a high-pitched, broken wail that bounced off the walls and made a flock of bats scatter deeper into the darkness.
The First Trap: The Aphrodisiac Mist
The air grew thicker the deeper they pressed into the Dungeon of Desire. Each step echoed against stone slick with condensation, the torches crackling as if they were breathing. Then, without warning, a haze seeped from the cracks in the walls—velvety tendrils of fog curling upward like fingers reaching for their throats.
Kael sniffed once. His nose twitched. Then he sneezed so violently his hood flew back.
The scent was maddeningly sweet, heavy like roses soaked in honey. Selvara, succubus through and through, inhaled deeply. Her lips parted in a slow, shuddering sigh as her eyes glowed faintly red. "Mmm…" She licked her lips with deliberate slowness. "Delicious."
Lysera coughed, stumbling forward until her trembling hands clutched at Kael's sleeve. Her porcelain skin flushed pink from neck to ears. "M-My lord…" Her voice shook, breathless, as though she'd just run a marathon. "…I feel… warm…"
Behind them, Rhyla snarled, muscles quivering, her grip tightening on her sword. But even she swayed, her proud stance buckling as heat rose to her bronzed cheeks. "Tch… what is this sorcery?!" Her jaw clenched as if she could fight the fog with sheer willpower.
Kael's brain short-circuited. His heart slammed against his ribs like it was trying to break free. He spun in place, flapping his arms like a deranged chicken. "SYSTEM! HELP! For the love of everything non-horny, do something!"
The screen blinked open with a serene chime, as calm as ever.
[Solution: Engage in physical contact to stabilize your party.]
Kael's voice cracked. "Define physical contact."
[Hug them until the effect passes.]
Kael went very still. "…Oh no."
Seconds later, he was crushed in a three-way calamity of limbs, armor, and way too much body heat. Lysera latched onto him like a koala on a tree, burying her flushed face against his chest. Selvara slid in from behind, arms draped around his shoulders as her tongue flicked against his neck. "Just giving you support, darling." Her purr vibrated against his spine.
And Rhyla? Rhyla had no concept of restraint. She wrapped both arms around the group hug and squeezed with Amazonian might. Kael's ribs made a noise that definitely wasn't natural.
The mist lingered for what felt like an eternity, thick and cloying, until finally it thinned, curling away like smoke.
Kael collapsed the moment the last wisp vanished, the three women tumbling off him in varying states of dazed embarrassment. His chest rose and fell in shallow gasps as he wheezed out the words: "Never… hugging… again…"
The system chimed cheerfully.
[Incorrect.]