Ahem! Is this on? Seems to be? Hi, I'm the Cookie Bandit. This is a digital recording of my... what should I call this? Fight against the Tyrant? Nah, whatever! The name doesn't matter! This is just my way of leaving my footprint in this world. If this has made it to you, congratulations! You get the honor of listening to how I gallivanted around the globe to steal cookies. You decide whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. Get comfy and let's begin!
In a beautiful, starry universe, there once was a big, green planet that was magical, technological, and ran on food. This planet was called Bitesize 7, and it was one of the system's biggest planets. We used milk as gas to fuel our cars. We used pasta as small batteries that would power our telephones and small appliances. We used breadsticks to power our PCs, and we used long rectangular crackers for our phones. Even our waste products were edible, like tomato juice, olive oil, or mustard.
As a race, we, the Epicureans, had everything we could ever ask for. Food, water, shelter, clothing, but mostly food. This world, seemingly war-free, could focus on developing its amenities, things that would otherwise be quite difficult.
My great-grandfather played a key role. He was the brother of a king, but he was also one of the scientists who discovered a game-changer: a cookie. He and his colleagues did their best to keep this power away from the public and created a society that was called the Order of the Cookie that was dedicated to it. Unfortunately, our peaceful world would not stay peaceful for very long.
Epicureans, who were once kind and giving creatures, finally experienced the emotion of greed for the first time. They split into eight factions: Sun, Piquant, Hardshell, Old Cookie Republic, Lava Cake (created solely to oppose the Leader and is technically 2 factions), Tide, Northern, and Corvac. The Old Cookie Republic (O.C.R.) was by far the most powerful and was led by a man whom we called the Leader.
He was... different, to say the least. He was no noble. He was the only non-royal. He had a grand vision and the means to accomplish it. At the end of this bloody battle, the OCR, true to their words, ended up victorious and eventually gained control of neighboring kingdoms. The Leader didn't bother destroying any of the factions as he'd completed his goal; the Cookies were now his.
That was when this... democracy turned into a dictatorship. This story is rehearsed every year at school. Even more sickeningly, we're made to worship the Leader as the greatest ruler. Now, I originally was the same as everyone else. I didn't care as long as my way of life wasn't affected. However, that day, something in me just snapped. But unlike everyone else, I had the means to get what I wanted since I was a little special. My great-grandfather worked at the lab when he was young. Unfortunately, in one of the special experiments, he nearly died.
"Shut the power!"
"It's gonna blow!"
BOOM!!!!
"Is . . . Is he alive?"
"I think so, his heart is beating,"
"Maybe we can save him."
"Oh my god!"
" I can see his organs!! BLEEEEGH!"
"He's awake, though... HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!"
They practically fixed him up with tape and glue. He was alive, but he was now severely mutated with the ability to not feel any pain; This made him and his line extremely valuable. With this, the kingship was passed to him. They could still get hurt, but they wouldn't feel anything. They made ideal knights. Still... that didn't do any good when the Leader took over.
In the present, the people in the little cities would not smile and had miserable expressions. There were guards stationed at every intersection watching your every move. You couldn't even pick your nose without them knowing about it. Yes, it was a pretty jobless thing for them to do, but what could anyone do about it?
The army of the OCR was immensely powerful, more than most factions of the continent, anyway. The Leader, as the public knew, was difficult to please and was extremely temperamental. If you said or did something wrong, you'd be lucky to not see the light of day again.
It was my disregard of the rules and probably common sense in general that made me end up where I did.
Disclaimer: If you don't have cookies, your safety is compromised. If you do, then both your safety and your cookies are compromised™