"Bloodshed my ass! Do you think I, Iron Head, was raised by fear? Pah!" The bald man spat, then stomped over aggressively.
Bang!
At that moment, from the quiet sky, a beer bottle suddenly fell, hitting the bald man directly on the top of his head without the slightest deviation.
Splat—
Red, warm blood spurted from his bare head, unstoppable.
"Oww... it hurts like hell..." The bald man clutched his head, rolling on the ground and howling in pain.
"See? I told you you'd have a bloody disaster, but you wouldn't believe me." Li Pingfan wore a look of utter certainty.
The onlookers were all stunned.
This alley was next to a KTV, so occasional bottles falling down weren't that strange. But how could Li Pingfan have known the exact time and location the bottle would fall?
"Can you really tell fortunes?" Lan Mengchen blinked her long lashes, her starry eyes in the dark filled with curiosity.
Li Pingfan paused, then nodded: "Well, I know a little. If you're interested, I can do a reading for you."
"Kid! Stop your tricks! It was just a coincidence—you really think you're some master?" Brother Huoji shouted angrily.
"You don't believe me?"
Li Pingfan stared at Brother Huoji's face, then 掐指一算 (pinched his fingers in calculation) and said: "You! Both parents deceased, wandered alone for ten years, suffered countless hardships to get where you are today. You finally have enough to eat and wear, but there's a bigger force 压制 (suppressing) you, making it hard to rise! Am I right?"
As soon as he spoke, all the thugs were even more confused.
They all knew that Huoji had started out ten years ago, working his way up from a low-level thug to the leader of a small gang, but was still 压制 (suppressed) by larger gangs, making it hard to develop.
Every word Li Pingfan said was accurate!
It was 简直神准 (unbelievably precise)!
But Brother Huoji shook his head: "Everyone in the underworld knows that stuff. You call that fortune-telling? Do you take me for an idiot!"
"I'm not part of the underworld," Li Pingfan shrugged, "Let me tell you something that'll happen soon... Hmm... your wife left home yesterday! She's a good woman, but you drove her away!"
"Fuck! How could you even calculate that?" Brother Huoji froze, his eyes nearly popping out of his head.
It had only happened last night, and because it was embarrassing, he'd never told anyone. He couldn't believe Li Pingfan knew—this was 简直神了 (unbelievably amazing)!
The onlookers were instantly dumbfounded.
Lan Mengchen's mouth hung half-open, her beautiful eyes staring at Li Pingfan in cute surprise.
"Master! You're my real master! You're 简直料事如神 (as foresighted as a god)! I, Huoji, am completely convinced!"
Brother Huoji's attitude did a 180-degree turn as he begged: "I regret driving my wife away. Please, Master, teach me how to get her back! I'm begging you!"
"I can help you, but you must promise not to bother my friend anymore," Li Pingfan patted Lan Mengchen's shoulder.
The campus beauty had long been stunned, dazedly leaning in Li Pingfan's arms, motionless.
"Don't worry, Master! As long as you help me, you'll be my real big brother from now on, and this young lady will be my real sister-in-law—I'll respect and cherish you both!" Brother Huoji slapped his chest in promise.
"Stop talking nonsense! What sister-in-law..." Lan Mengchen snapped back to her senses, her cheeks flushing as she quickly pulled away from Li Pingfan's embrace.
A shy blush spread across her stunning face, giving her an endearing charm that made Li Pingfan's heart skip a beat.
The thugs around them were all dazzled, but out of respect for Master Li, no one dared to move.
"Wait here! Don't come over!" Li Pingfan instructed, then walked to a distance.
He opened his phone—there were three Marriage Talismans in his treasure box, which would come in handy.
—Marriage Talisman: Write both names to forge a marriage bond. Success depends on personal effort. Extract now?
"Even using it doesn't guarantee success—this is so useless," Li Pingfan muttered in disappointment, but still clicked "Extract" without hesitation.
The best thing about useless items was that you didn't mind giving them away.
"Take this, write your name and your wife's name," Li Pingfan handed the Marriage Talisman to Brother Huoji.
Huoji's wife was a good woman, and he genuinely regretted his actions—this talisman would definitely work!
"Done!" Brother Huoji finished immediately.
"Alright, now go home and eat vegetarian food while chanting scriptures. Your wife will come back," Li Pingfan said.
"Eat vegetarian and chant scriptures?" Brother Huoji grimaced, "I fall asleep when I read, and I can't eat without meat. Can I..."
"Less nonsense! Sincerity makes miracles happen. If you slack off, don't blame me when your wife's gone for good! And your underlings should join you in eating vegetarian and chanting—it'll show more sincerity!" Li Pingfan frowned.
Using the Marriage Talisman didn't actually require vegetarianism or chanting—Li Pingfan just wanted to teach these troublemaking thugs a lesson.
"Yes, yes, yes! I'll do whatever Master says! Until my wife comes back, my brothers and I will eat vegetarian and chant every day!" Brother Huoji nodded repeatedly.
The thugs around them looked like they were about to cry: "Boss, don't do this! A day or two is okay, but if sister-in-law never comes back, will we have to shave our heads and become monks?"
"Shut up! If Master says it'll work, it'll work! Let's go, don't disturb Master's date!" Brother Huoji, now completely 迷信 (superstitious) about Li Pingfan, cursed as he herded his underlings away.
"Finally safe," Lan Mengchen patted her chest, seriously saying, "Thank you for saving me. Let's exchange numbers—I'll treat you to dinner sometime."
Calm now, Lan Mengchen had regained some of her usual cool elegance. Without the earlier panic, her beauty was even more celestial, flawless.
"So beautiful..." Li Pingfan stared for a moment before grinning and giving his number.
"Stop flirting—I don't like smooth talkers," Lan Mengchen pouted, giving him a playful glare, "I'll leave first. I'll text you on the weekend."
"Don't rush off! I'm going the same way—I'm a student at Ivy University too," Li Pingfan hurried after her.
"What a coincidence? We're schoolmates?"
"This must be fate!"
"You're so good at fortune-telling—where did you learn it?"
"Just figured it out on my own..."
"Will that paper talisman really work? If not, those thugs will definitely come beat you up!"
"Don't worry—anything from the Moon God must work!"
"The Moon God?"
"Ahem... the moon is really round tonight..."
"..."
The two walked back to school together.
Lan Mengchen, who was usually quiet, opened up to the quirky Li Pingfan, and they chatted happily the whole way.
Li Pingfan walked her to her dorm building before reluctantly saying goodbye.
Back in his own dorm, his three roommates were huddled around a computer. When they saw him, they quickly turned off the screen.
"Third Brother! You're back?" Zhou Zitao (the oldest) and Zhang Fengyi (the second oldest) both looked nervous.
"What were you looking at?" Li Pingfan asked curiously.
"Third Brother! Don't ask—you'll be sad..." Li Ming (the youngest) urged.
"I'm fine, why would I be sad?" Li Pingfan said, "Let me see, or I'll die of curiosity."
Li Ming hesitated, then turned the screen back on, nervously saying, "Third Brother, you have to stay strong..."