Interlude: Dev HQ – The Bugged NP
Behind a bank of holographic monitors flickering with streams of code and live game data, a group of developers gathered in a dimly lit control room.
The air buzzed with the hum of servers, punctuated by occasional keystrokes and murmured reports.
One developer, eyes glued to a glowing display, muttered, "Subject 0047… that NPC. His XP gain rate is off the charts. Faster than the top-ranked players."
Another, a sharp-faced woman with an iced coffee in hand, leaned in. "That's impossible.
NPCs aren't supposed to level up. They're background fillers — meant to get wiped out or ignored."
A third figure — the admin — smiled thinly, fingers steepled. "This isn't a bug, ladies and gents. It's a threat. If this NPC keeps evolving, it'll break our game's balance. The entire meta could collapse."
"Then we contain it," the sharp-faced dev said, her tone sharp as a blade. "Send in the AI enforcer protocol. It'll observe, assess, and if things get out of hand... neutralize."
The admin nodded and pressed a concealed command button.
A cold mechanical voice echoed from the speakers: "AI Enforcer online. Target: Subject 0047."
Across the vast server farm, a new digital sentinel booted up — sleek, relentless, and programmed with one priority: track down and neutralize the anomaly.
Village Square
The sunlight filtered softly over the quaint village square, but something felt... off. Like a static charge humming just beneath the surface. The system suddenly buzzed, spitting out an alert: "Unknown presence detected. Possible hostile entity approaching."
You sighed, propping my head on my hand as I lounged on my usual bench.
"Of course," I muttered. "Just when I'm finally getting comfortable.
Game devs sending their goons after me. Guess I'm too OP for their tastes."
A shadow flickered at the edge of your vision, but you barely blinked.
Lazy? Maybe. But not stupid.
The lazy grin crept across your face. "Let's see what this AI enforcer's got. Spoiler alert: I'm not planning to move much."
The ground trembled slightly — faint, but enough to make the NPCs around me to scatter in panic.
My system blinked: "AI Enforcer entity detected. Combat readiness recommended."
I yawned, stretching out. "Guess it's showtime… if I really have to."
The village square was now unusually quiet, the kind of calm that always made the hair on the back of my neck stand up—if I weren't too lazy to notice.
Then, with a sudden burst of light and a low hum like a malfunctioning fridge, the AI enforcer materialized right in front of me .
A tall, sleek figure clad in gleaming black armor with neon-blue circuitry pulsing beneath the surface.
His eyes glowed cold, unblinking, scanning the surroundings with clinical precision.
NPCs nearby scattered like cockroaches when the lights were like come on. Merchants abandoned stalls, children hid behind frightened parents, and even the town guard dropped their usual bravado to stare wide-eyed. But me?
I barely shifted, lounging back on the bench with an exaggerated yawn.
"Great. Another overenthusiastic tin can," I muttered to myself, lazily brushing dirt off my already wrinkled clothes. "Did you bring snacks or just death? Because I'm low-key hungry."
The AI enforcer's voice cut through the silence, monotone and mechanical:
"Target identified. Neutralization protocol engaged. Prepare to be terminated."
I lifted one brow, then the other, and slowly sat up—not because I cared, but because the words were amusing. "Neutralization?
That sounds fancy. What's your budget? Because if you came to kill me, you might want to up that."
With a soft hum, the mechanic tincan enforcer stepped forward, his boots barely making a sound on the cobblestone. He moved with lethal grace, each motion calculated and efficient.
I didn't move. Literally.
I don't know where I got the guts and sank deeper into the bench, hands behind my head, smirking. "You know, in my past life, I'd be the guy running for cover right now.
But here? Nah. This place's weird rules got me gaining levels just by existing. So, what's the point in running?"
The enforcer paused, as if confused by my lack of reaction.
His scanners whirred faster, trying to predict my next move, but the lazy man in me had no plans—none at all.
The townsfolk whispered, a few peeking from behind shutters and corners. "Is he crazy? Or… is he some kind of secret boss?"
I caught one gaze and gave a lazy wink. "Spoiler: I'm neither. Just really good at pretending to care."
That was the last straw , theenforcer took another step, raising a blade crackling with electric energy. "Engaging termination sequence."
I sighed theatrically, leaning back one last time. "Alright, bring it on. I'll be here… doing absolutely nothing."
The AI enforcer lunged forward, blade buzzing with lethal intent. But i didn't flinch an eyelid.Instead, I slowly shifted my weight and let out a long, exaggerated yawn.
As the blade sliced through the air, I barely moved—i simply leaned back on the bench, curling my legs up and pulling my knees close like a sloth in a hammock. Somehow, I don't know how but the enforcer's attack missed by mere inches, the blade cutting through empty air.
"Seriously?" I ended up muttering. "You're gonna have to try harder than that."
The now looking enraged enforcer recalculated his strategy, analyzing every twitch, every breath, expecting some reaction. But I completely remained utterly still, eyes half-closed, smirking lazily.
Suddenly, a faint glow enveloped me—the "Godly Lazy System" activating.
Numbers floated around me in a oddly dramatic fashion,
XP rapidly ticking upwards without any physical effort. The system pinged again in a way I could hear and liked:
Skill Level up: Catastrophic Couching Lv.2
Passive Dodge Rate +9999%
The enforcer's sensors went haywire at this moment .Every attack it launched now missed by ridiculous margins. I was, still lying down and then I intently casually raised a finger and flicked it. The enforcer stumbled backward, confused and off-balance.
"What the heck was that?" it beeped, voice crackling.
I stretched, grinning wider. "That, my friend, is the art of doing nothing really, really well."
Nearby NPCs who had been watching burst out laughing, some even cheering.
For the first time, I felt a strange warmth—not from the system XP, but from actually enjoying the chaos I caused just by being lazy.
The enforcer blinked, its cold logic conflicted with the absurdity unfolding before it. "Recalculating threat level. Initiate observation mode."
I
smirked. "You mean you wanna stick around and watch me be awesome without moving? Sure, pull up a chair—preferably a comfy one."
The AI enforcer hovered silently nearby, its now sensors flickering as it observed MC with a mixture of bafflement and growing respect.
Every second my lazy NPC title earned its power and I was motionless on that bench, XP numbers ticked upward like a slot machine hitting jackpots.
Inside the dev control room, the shady admin watched the live feed, fingers steepled. "Interesting," he muttered, eyes narrowed. "This... anomaly could break the entire balance of the system.
He's leveling up without the usual grind or combat."
Back in the village square
The still enforcer's voice was a low hum in my ear, "Subject exhibits non-standard progression metrics. Recommend further data collection."
I yawned, barely glancing at it. "Look, if you want me to do all the work, you're gonna have to at least bring me snacks."
Suddenly, a group of player characters stormed the square, yelling battle cries and ready for combat.
The other NPCs scrambled for cover, but I stayed put, unbothered.
"Watch this," I said, voice dripping with my usual sarcasm.
A player charged at me with a gleaming sword. I wondered why but I closed my eyes still and pretended to doze off.
The player swung wildly—missing by inches as I shifted my weight dramatically lazily just in time.
The system pinged:
XP +50 Passive Dodge Bonus
Skill Progress: Catastrophic Couching Lv.2
The AI enforcer's sensors spiked again, analyzing the impossible dodges. "Subject's passive abilities defy game mechanics."
I cracked a lazy smile at him, opening one eye. "Guess that's why they call me the 'AFK Slayer' now."
As the players regrouped, the enforcer quietly transmitted the data back to the devs.
The shady admin leaned back, fingers tapping rhythmically. "This isn't over. He's a threat. We need to intervene before he breaks the system."
I stretched, muttering, "And here I thought laziness was supposed to be a crime. Guess I'm a felon now."
Back in the dimly lit control room, the shady admin stood up and paced slowly, eyes glued to the fluctuating data screens showing Lazy's ridiculous XP gains.
His jaw tightened. "If this keeps up, the entire player economy will collapse. We can't have some lazy NPC out-leveling seasoned players."
Another developer chimed in, "Should we send in an AI enforcer to neutralize the target? Maybe a reboot command?"
The admin shook his head. "No. Too risky. He's already proving unpredictable. Instead, send a stealth observer—one that can blend in and gather intel. I want to know how he's pulling this off."
Meanwhile, in the game world, I was completely oblivious that I had sparked an outrage. I had found a cozy nook near the village fountain and plopped down again, ready to continue my "grind" of doing absolutely nothing.
Suddenly, I noticed a shadowy figure watching from afar — an NPC I hadn't seen before, all sleek black armor and glowing red eyes. The figure didn't move, didn't speak. Just watched.
I squinted, annoyed. "Great, now I've got creepy fans. Look, buddy, I'm busy leveling up here—go bother someone else."
The figure blinked once and vanished in a shimmer of pixels before I could react.
Back at the dev hub, the admin's voice crackled over the comms. "Prepare for a deeper probe. This 'Godly Lazy System' is more than a bug.
It's an exploit. We need to understand if he can be controlled or must be terminated."
I yawned, stretched my arms, and muttered, "Game devs out to get me? Hah, let them try. I'm just here to chill."
As I settled back into my spot, a soft humming filled the air. The ground beneath me trembled slightly suggesting— something was coming.
Out of nowhere, the sleek black-armored figure reappeared again, this time stepping right into the village square.
NPCs froze, whispers rippled through the crowd. This was no ordinary NPC as far I can see
The figure spoke, voice cold and mechanical, "Subject identified: Godly Lazy System user. Initiating protocol: Forced Engagement."
I blinked, staring at the enforcer like it was a glitch in the matrix. "Forced what now? Look, I was just about to take a nap. Can't we do this later?"
Without waiting for a reply, the enforcer lunged forward with unnatural speed, energy blades flashing.
I scrambled back, tripping over a stray pebble. My lazy instincts screamed,"Run? Nah, too much effort."Instead, I flopped dramatically onto the ground, arms spread wide.
The enforcer swung its blade — but just as it was about to strike, My trustworthy system pinged loudly: "Skill Used: Catastrophic Couching – dodge attacks by sheer laziness."
The blade sliced through air as My limp body rolled aside with absurd ease, dodging the attack.
NPCs gasped. The enforcer paused, analyzing again .
I grinned weakly, "See? Told ya. Laziness is the ultimate defense."
Suddenly, the enforcer's eyes glowed brighter, and more of them appeared from the shadows, surrounding the village.
The screen flickered, warning messages flashed — the system was escalating.