Naruto and I rush towards Konoha, before I manage to cross even a tenth of the distance Naruto is already there. He takes a deep breath and blows all of the sand away with a great breakthrough.
The black flame barrier is immediately made visible. My clones take down the barrier in its entirety after talking with Naruto for a bit. A clone's memories come to me after the barrier is taken down, giving me some information about what's been going on.
The good news is that the situation with the edo tensei is somewhat under control, the bad news is that there's two really troublesome edo tensei. I land on the village walls and rush towards a thick dome of black flames. The dome is glowing an excruciatingly glaring white.
I see Sakura on the hokage tower and land right next to her. She breathes a sigh of relief once she sees me. "Any idea how we can deal with this?"
I give the dome a glance and immediately regret doing so. It was as if I had stared into a blazing arc light. During the fight with the edo tensei my clones used black flames to hold some of the edo tensei, making the fight much more manageable. This dome is, or rather was, holding two edo tensei, which no one has recognized.
The two of them looked identical, meaning they were probably identical twins. Both of them were S-Rank fire release ninjutsu specialists. I look at Sakura. "Nothing comes to mind right now, does Minato have any ideas?"
She shakes her head. "He hasn't returned yet. Either something came up or he was taken care of by the enemy."
During the fight against the edo tensei those two were the first to get trapped in black flame barriers. After they got sealed in they just calmly laid down on the floor. Halfway through the fight the dome they were trapped in abruptly turned into this.
I point at the dome, making sure not to look at it. "Do you have any idea what this even is?"
Sakura nods. "It's very hot plasma."
I freeze. "Please elaborate."
Sakura sighs. "The temperature in the dome is about five hundred thousand degrees kelvin. If the dome comes off then the village explodes. Heat dispersion is null thanks to your black flames"
I take a deep breath. "Have the clones tried using kagutsuchi to burn the plasma away?"
Sakura shakes her head. "It didn't work. The black flames have no effect on plasma."
I begin tapping my foot on the floor. "Mito failed to be summoned, Minato is missing. Have you sealed Jiraya away?"
Sakura nods. "Kotoamatsukami will be up in about half an hour. We still need a plan B in case Jiraya fails."
I sigh. "I'll need some time to see if anything comes to mind."
—
Jiraya instantly closes his eyes and shields them with his hands as soon as he looks at the dome. "What the fuck even is that thing?!"
I snicker. "Really hot fire. Do you have any way to seal away the whole thing?"
Jiraya nods, rubbing his eyes as he does so. "Yeah, it's going to take a fuckload of chakra, but that shouldn't be a problem. There's something that I should tell you before we get to fixing this thing tho."
I tilt my head. "What is it?"
Jiraya continues rubbing his eyes. "Your assumption that there's a limit to the amount of edo tensei that Zetsu could control is wrong. He probably only used the jutsu once. He taught the jutsu to the edo tensei, then had the edo tensei themselves summon each other. I know because I was brought back by some edo tensei of his."
I sigh. "You mean that there's a potentially unlimited amount of the things running about right now?"
Jiraya shakes his head. "Worse. There's potentially unlimited edo tensei trying to exterminate the human race running about. There will forevermore be a potentially infinite amount of the things. Edo tensei will summon edo tensei that will summon edo tensei."
I stare at Jiraya. "This world is beyond fucked at this point."
Jiraya nods. "Yeah, pretty much. Some jutsu are forbidden for a reason, kid. Once the genie is out of the bottle, you're not putting it back inside."
—
Content Warning - Hidan.
Hidan POV
I glare from above the palace at the fucking maggots that are inhabiting this crapsack city. My right hand is holding my three blade scythe, the great relic of my lord. My left hand is holding a shitty ass flare gun.
Ouijisama city is the capital of the land of fire. From what that brunette whore told me before I strangled her with her own intestines, there's three million sacrifices living in this city.
Three million lives for janshin, what could be a more worthy sacrifice for the great lord Janshin than this?
This is going to be just as easy as taking a piss in an ant hive. I raise my arms and fire the flare gun into the air. Walls of flame immediately rise up into the air and seal of the city, dooming everyone inside.
I begin laughing as the flames begin closing in, burning anyone retarded enough to get caught by them into smithereens. The only thing that would make this day any better would be a good fuck, should've kept that whore alive in hindsight.
I jump down, landing right at the entrance of the palace. A stream of people is desperately rushing towards me from the city. I chop off the head of the guard on my right, pick his head and throw it at the head of the guard on my left, splattering their brains everywhere. I lick the blood from my hands. O-, neat.
The idiots at the front of the horde of dumbasses try to stop, only to get themselves hilariously trampled by the fucking morons behind them.
As I'm enjoying the view I feel a sword stab my heart from behind me. I turn my head back and look at the white haired weirdo. This guy's one of those edo tensei that Zetsu kept rambling on about. What was his name, Tobigara?
I sigh. There's no fun in fighting these things. They don't even have any organs for me to eat for crying out loud!
I slump over and pretend to be dead, a trick that almost always works.
Tobi-something doesn't fall for the trick, since my head is now cut off and flying. The idiot thinks that I'm dead afterwards, which is more than fine for me. It's not like he can stop me at this point anyway.
I can still see the wall of flames from where my head fell, so I just relax and enjoy the view. The screams of the desperate, soon to be cinder, are like music to my ears.
The fire comes closer and closer, the edo tensei creating it closing in faster and faster. Soon enough I can begin to hear the desperate cries of people painfully being burned alive.
Once the fire reaches me I smile. Janshin is most pleased with me.
My head regenerates once the city is done burning, as does my body. It's not that far away from me.
I try to move my head towards my body, if I can get my head to my stump then it will automatically fuse with it. I use my tongue to slowly roll my head towards my neck.
I fall between two rocks, my eyes see nothing but the sky. I can't move myself with my tongue, since there's nothing in reach for it to push off of. There's nothing touching my cheeks either, so I can't use them to move either. Eh, I'll figure something out eventually.
—
Hidans died of starvation three years later, his head still stuck between those rocks.