"It can talk?"
That genuinely surprised Marius.
The shopkeeper quickly explained, "Don't worry—I've already had it checked by professionals. It's definitely not an Animagus. No one knows why, but it just… talks."
"Then why hasn't anyone bought it yet?" Marius asked. "A talking dog should be a huge hit among wizards."
"There are... many reasons," the shopkeeper replied with an awkward expression. "First, several buyers complained they couldn't handle its expression—they said it felt like their minds were being polluted. Second, it has a rather offensive catchphrase that's scared off a lot of curious customers."
Marius raised a brow at that. He squatted in front of the dog's cage and studied the Shiba Inu. The dog looked up at him lazily, then opened its mouth and actually spoke:
"Buy or piss off."
"That's the catchphrase you meant?" Marius turned to the shopkeeper with a deadpan look.
The woman was now sweating. "N-no... not quite…"
Then she barked sternly at the dog, "You shut up and behave! Do you even know who this is? He's not someone you can afford to offend!"
The Shiba gave her a full eye-roll and casually muttered, "Stupid f***ing idiot."
"…"
Marius blinked. "So this is the catchphrase?"
More sweat beaded down the woman's face. "…Yes. That's the one."
Marius was starting to get intrigued. "What's its name?"
"No idea," the woman admitted, shaking her head. "I've tried giving it dozens of names, but it ignores them all."
"Huh. That's kind of fun. I'll take it."
Marius wasn't bothered in the least by the lack of a name. He found the dog amusing enough to buy on a whim. When you've got the money, you can afford to be whimsical.
The Shiba's ears perked up in surprise—it had finally found an owner after who-knows-how-long in captivity. But just as it lifted its head with what must've been a joyous smile, Marius looked at its face and nearly burst out laughing.
"That's... that's the expression you mentioned? The one people say mentally contaminates them?"
The shopkeeper swallowed hard. "…Yes. That's the one."
Marius blinked slowly and turned to study the Shiba Inu again—that's a freakin' DOGE face!
That only made Marius more eager to buy it. Not because it could mimic an internet meme, but because of the deeper implication. The shopkeeper had said that numerous wizards couldn't handle its expression, that it felt like a mental attack—and Marius, who possessed a spiritual force far beyond his peers, could feel it too.
This was no ordinary facial expression. This was some kind of passive mental interference. It reminded him of his own psychic pulse skill. A Shiba Inu that could insult people and project DOGE-faced psychic corruption?
Absolutely worth it.
After happily paying for the dog, Marius clipped on its leash and walked out of the Magical Menagerie with Hermione. The Grangers followed behind, still stunned by the very idea of a talking dog—it shattered every expectation they had from the Muggle world.
"I'm your new owner now," Marius said casually as they walked. "Tell me your name."
"I don't have one."
"How old are you?"
"One and a half."
"What? I thought you'd be some kind of ancient magical creature or something…" Marius raised a brow. "Then how do you know how to speak?"
"I dunno. I just... picked it up one day."
"Okay, then how'd you learn to make that face—the one that causes psychic damage?"
"Could you not ask such dumbass questions? Do you need special lessons to make a face?"
"Wow, you're pretty cocky for a dog. Careful or I'll make you into spicy dog stew tonight."
"Oh no," the Shiba deadpanned. "I'm terrified. My soul is shaking."
Hermione shot Marius a disapproving look, but he just smirked. "Yeah, that's right. I am threatening you. What're you gonna do about it? Scared yet?"
"Pfft. My soul is undisturbed. In fact, I find this amusing."
"…Okay," Marius muttered, staring at that signature expression. "That settles it. From now on, your name is Doge. Or maybe... Wobble Dog, for that unsettling face."
"…Can I refuse?"
"Nope."
With most of their shopping done, Marius finally brought Hermione to the Transcendence Tailors.
Unlike Madam Malkin's shop, which was a common destination for students, this boutique catered almost exclusively to wizarding aristocracy. The prices made even the Grangers widen their eyes and gulp.
"Why, if it isn't the esteemed Mr. Cloud! What an honor to have you grace our store today."
The tailor, who recognized nearly every highborn wizard in Britain, had no trouble identifying the boy who had made headlines the previous day.
"Oh, my apologies," the man added, clapping a hand to his head. "Of course someone as gifted as you would've received your Hogwarts letter this year! You're here for your school robes, I presume?"
Marius nodded. "Yes. The custom robes I bought from you last time were quite good."
"I'm delighted to hear that, sir!" the shopkeeper said, beaming. "And will the young lady beside you also be needing robes?"
Hermione glanced nervously at the price tags on display, then back at her parents. She bit her lip. "Um… I think I'll pass. I'll get mine at a normal shop."
"No need to hold back," Marius said with a smile. "Take your pick. Consider it a gift from me."
"R-Really?" Hermione's face lit up. When Marius nodded, she squealed with joy and dove headfirst into the rows of fine robes. No matter the age, the love of pretty clothes is a universal truth among girls.
The Grangers smiled wryly as they watched their daughter excitedly rummage through luxurious fabric.
"You've already helped us so much, and now you're spending like this… we're honestly a little embarrassed."
Still, watching Hermione so happy, they couldn't bring themselves to stop her.
Not long after, Hermione emerged in a beautiful new robe, cheeks flushed as she twirled in front of Marius. "Does it look nice?"
There was only one correct answer to that question.
"It looks lovely."
Hermione grinned and ran off to her parents. Tugging her father down, she whispered something into his ear that made his eyes widen with surprise.
He glanced at Marius with a very peculiar expression…
--------------
T/N:
Access Advance Chapters on my
P@treon: p@treon.com/PokePals