Thor hadn't even gotten used to this wretched garbage planet when a rusted ship landed nearby with a grating metal shriek. A group of masked scavengers swaggered out, weapons of all kinds gleaming in the dim light.
"Fighter, or food?" their leader sneered.
Thor sighed, raising his hands. "Just passing through."
"Then you're food. Kneel." The man leveled a weapon at him.
Thor instinctively reached for Mjolnir—only to remember. His hammer had been shattered in Hela's hand. Even his thunder felt suppressed.
With no choice, he lashed out with his fists. A clean hook sent one scavenger sprawling, but then a crackling net dropped over him. Electricity surged.
"ARRGGHHH!" Thor screamed as his body convulsed. The once-mighty God of Thunder—electrocuted like an animal. The scavengers swarmed in, fists and boots flying.
The scene was humiliating.
Then—
A heavier ship roared overhead, sleek and armed with twin cannons. It descended, and a tall woman in leather armor staggered drunkenly down the ramp, bottle in hand. White paint streaked her beautiful face.
"He's mine," she slurred, pointing at Thor.
Thor's eyes lit with relief. Salvation!
But then—thud! The woman tripped and fell flat into the trash heap.
"…A drunk?" Thor groaned.
The scavengers laughed cruelly. "Another piece of meat." They advanced.
The woman exhaled, clenched her fists, and blue arcs sparked across gauntlets hidden beneath her gloves. The ship's arms whirred to life, twin Gatling energy cannons lowering.
BRRRRRT!
In seconds, the scavengers were shredded, the ground scorched black. Only one survivor twitched in the dirt.
"Thanks…" Thor began weakly.
"Not so fast."
Before he could rise, she pressed a device to his neck. Chips snapped into his skin. Thor's body seized in agony.
"AAAHHHH!"
He screamed, collapsing unconscious.
The woman smirked, dragging him by the collar like a sack of meat toward her ship.
But she froze.
BOOOOM!
The ship's ramp dented inward as something plummeted from above, carving a man-shaped crater in the alloy. Dust billowed.
A bald head gleamed as the figure stood, brushing off his yellow suit, red gloves, and white cape.
"…Sorry. Guess that was the forced landing they warned me about."
Saitama scratched his head sheepishly.
The woman blinked. Her drunken haze thinned. This bald man had fallen from orbit and was fine.
She slapped another control chip on her palm, aimed at his neck. "From now on, baldy… you're mine."
Click.
Silence.
Click-click-click.
Nothing.
Her smirk faltered. "…Broken? That bastard dealer sold me junk?!"
Saitama rubbed his neck absentmindedly. "Weird. Thought a mosquito bit me."
With a snap, he crushed the chip between his fingers like dust.
The woman stared. Thor lay unconscious at her feet. And the bald man? He just looked around awkwardly.
"Uh… so, where am I? I'm kinda lost. Could you… give me a lift?" Saitama asked, rubbing the back of his shiny head.
(End of Chapter)
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