Chapter One: The Outrage
Friday, February 7th
Dear Diary,
I can barely write this without my hand shaking from pure, unadulterated outrage. Her father, the glorious international soccer star (who owes his entire career to her genes – athleticism, grace, even the good looks), has signed a contract with an Australian team. This means that Leonora and Leoni are moving to Australia. As in, the land of kangaroos and crocodiles and… well, she hasn't really looked it up yet. It's probably filled with a lot of really common people, and she's not sure how she's going to survive.
First of all, their penthouse apartment in New York. The sprawling views, the private chef, the rooftop pool with the perfect lighting for selfies – gone! For what? A "charming" house in some suburban Australian town. Charming. The word itself makes her want to vomit. She's sure it's a house, not a mansion, not even an estate. She probably won't even have a walk-in wardrobe big enough for all her designer clothes. The horror!
And the school, Diary! Her dad, in his infinite wisdom (read: cluelessness), thinks it's a brilliant idea to send them to some "prestigious" boarding school. "To broaden your horizons, Leoni," he said, like she needs her horizons broadened. Her horizons are already perfectly broad, thank you very much, filled with high fashion, exclusive events, and the admiring gazes of everyone who has the good taste to recognize true superiority. This school, St. Augustine's Ladies College (which sounds incredibly stuffy), is apparently "one of the best" in Australia. According to The Guardian, this kind of private school boasts luxurious facilities and extracurricular activities. She supposes that's marginally better than attending a dreadful public school with all the hoi polloi.
Leonora, of course, is pretending to be thrilled. "Think of all the new sports teams, Leoni! We can dominate the Australian art scene!" she announced, her eyes gleaming with a manic competitive energy that only a twin could possess. As if winning another trophy is going to make up because they're leaving behind their perfectly curated lives. Although she must admit, their trophies are rather impressive. Leonora's art portfolio is pretty good too, she guesses. For an amateur.
They've already packed their entire lives into a terrifying number of suitcases. She almost had a breakdown when she realised she had to choose between her vintage Chanel handbag and her limited-edition Prada clutch. The struggle is real, Diary. The absolute, undeniable struggle. She's pretty sure their personal assistant is going to have a nervous breakdown trying to organize everything. Good. That's what he's paid for.
She just hopes this St. Augustine's has decent Wi-Fi. How else will she keep up with her followers on social media? And if the other girls aren't up to their usual standards of sophistication, well, she guesses she and Leonora will just have to entertain themselves by finding new and inventive ways to mock them. It's what they do best.
Wish her luck, Diary. She has a feeling she's going to need it.
Chapter Two: The (Barely Tolerable) Outback
Sunday, February 9th
Dear Diary,
Here's a diary entry from Leonora:
Leoni is being ridiculous, as usual. Leaving New York is an adjustment. However, her dramatic outbursts are exhausting.
Leoni has been sulking and making lists of things she'll miss. Leonora researched St. Augustine's, a well-regarded and elite girls' boarding school with superb sports and art.
The flight was twelve hours, with Leoni complaining. The only good thing was that her noise-canceling headphones were excellent.
Australia, so far, is sunny and green outside the airport. Greeted with stifling heat and the usual paparazzi.
Their driver, Bruce, kept pointing out "local landmarks," which were mostly very large billboards and brown foliage. It was annoying that he kept using Australian slang.
The house is a house with a backyard and a swimming pool. Her room is a decent size, and at least her art supplies and trophies were carefully packed.
Decent shops are lacking, which is the biggest surprise. Leoni is having a meltdown because the nearest mall doesn't have a Gucci.
She's looking forward to school starting for the new competitive landscape. New girls to size up, new teams to dominate, and hopefully, some new art challenges to conquer.
Now, if only she can find a decent cafe that serves real coffee, not whatever weak, milky concoction Bruce tried to serve them earlier, she might actually survive this.
Yours in pursuit of perfection (and possibly a decent latte),
Leonora Cortzel