That evening, after dinner, Su Xiaoqi went out alone to train. Meanwhile, Tokisaki Kurumi—the self-proclaimed "mistress of the house"—finished laying down the rules for their new resident, Yuzuru Yatogai (Yoshinon), before happily flopping onto the couch to chat in the group.
**[Tokisaki Kurumi]:** *@Zhu Zhuqing, @Lu Linglong, girls, today was so much fun!*
**[Lu Linglong]:** *Of course it was. Between your date and kidnapping that poor Yoshinon, how could it not be?*
**[Sakata Gintoki]:** *Hey, Three-Three, ol' Gin's always been good to you, right? Think you could nab me a Spirit too?*
**[Tokisaki Kurumi]:** *Hmph. Who do you want?*
**[Sakata Gintoki]:** *Not interested in kids. How about you grab "Mama Mio" for me? I'll… uh, "convince" her to behave—revenge for you!*
**[Lu Linglong]:** *Damn, Gin, you're on another level.*
**[Tokisaki Kurumi]:** *What the f— Are you out of your mind?! She's my enemy!*
**[Sakata Gintoki]:** *Exactly! So I'll take revenge in my own way. If you like, I can even make her call you "Mom."*
**[Nami]:** *666.*
**[Namikaze Minato]:** *Only Gin could come up with something like this.*
**[Himejima Shinoa]:** *Ara~ I think it's a wonderful idea. @Tokisaki Kurumi, congrats on becoming a mother!*
**[Tokisaki Kurumi]:** *I've had ENOUGH! @Himejima Shinoa, @Sakata Gintoki, you two idiots deserve each other!*
**[Sakata Gintoki]:** *Sorry, ladies. Gin-san's heart belongs to silver-haired beauties now.*
**[Himejima Shinoa]:** *Ara~ So I've been dumped?*
**[Kashiwazaki Sena]:** *@Sakata Gintoki, I have a small question.*
**[Sakata Gintoki]:** *What's up, little cutie?*
**[Kashiwazaki Sena]:** *How are you even gonna meet "Mama Mio"? Three-Three's been here forever and never triggered a mission for her.*
**[Tokisaki Kurumi]:** *I don't need missions. I have Darling~*
**[Zhu Zhuqing]:** *You get one chance to rephrase that.*
**[Lu Linglong]:** *Three-Three, are you betraying our sisterhood?!*
**[Tokisaki Kurumi]:** *I'm sorry! (╥﹏╥)*
**[Namikaze Minato]:** *Speaking of missions, we've all been pretty idle lately. Maybe I'll trigger one for fun?*
**[Aizen Sōsuke]:** *If needed, I can trigger one as well.*
**[Kashiwazaki Sena]:** *So jealous of you guys who can trigger missions anytime. Meanwhile, I'm stuck here suffering.*
**[Aizen Sōsuke]:** *I believe everyone is stuck in a misconception. Missions don't strictly require following the original plot.*
**[Kashiwazaki Sena]:** *Please enlighten us, oh wise one.*
**[Aizen Sōsuke]:** *The plot is just a framework. Some of us must follow it due to circumstances, but others have already diverged. Why not create your own story?*
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** *Mm. As expected of Aizen—spot on.*
**[Zhu Zhuqing]:** *You knew this already?!*
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** *Are you dumb? The plot will eventually run out. What then? You have to forge your own path.*
**[Zhu Zhuqing]:** *WHO ARE YOU CALLING DUMB?!*
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** *Oops, my bad. Thought you were Linglong.*
**[Lu Linglong]:** *(╬ Ò﹏Ó)*
**[Kashiwazaki Sena]:** *Sis Linglong, don't be mad yet. @Su Xiaoqi, then why didn't my "Neighbor's Club" count?*
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** *You said Mikazuki Yozora already recruited everyone else. Why not just poach them back?*
**[Kashiwazaki Sena]:** *…*
**[Lu Linglong]:** *So how the hell do we trigger missions then?! (╯°□°)╯*
**[Aizen Sōsuke]:** *That depends on your identity in your world.*
**[Lu Linglong]:** *Idol, I don't get complicated stuff. @Su Xiaoqi, translate!*
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** *Simplest example: Among us, Sakuragi and Gin are protagonists. Triggering missions is easiest for them.*
*If Sakuragi joined a different school instead of Shohoku, his plot missions would vanish, right?*
**[Lu Linglong]:** *Yeah.*
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** *So what replaces them? Original missions—like leading his new team to win nationals.*
**[Nami]:** *Then why hasn't Gin triggered any?*
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** *Does he look like someone who wants to? He's just lazing around.*
**[Sakata Gintoki]:** *Oi! Gin-san knew all along! I was just testing you guys!*
**[Nami]:** *Yeah, right. Pull the other one.*
**[Zhu Zhuqing]:** *Then why haven't I triggered any missions since Tang San died?*
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** *Like Aizen said, it's about your role. In Douluo Dalu, you're part of Shrek's Seven, but not central.*
*Tang San's gone, but Bibi Dong and Qian Renxue remain. His death benefits them most—unless the gods pick a new protagonist.*
**[Zhu Zhuqing]:** *So if I approach them, I might trigger missions?*
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** *Not guaranteed, but likely. Qian Renxue's in Heaven Dou City—go try.*
**[Zhu Zhuqing]:** *…Are you just pushing me toward Qian Renxue?*
**[Sakata Gintoki]:** *Sis Zhuqing, you can drop the "just."*
**[Lu Linglong]:** *Forget Qian Renxue—what about me? Zhang Chulan's still here. You want me near him? You'd allow that?*
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** *You're hopeless. Zhang Chulan's here, but you can steal his plot! Go to Bijiu Village or Qinling's treasure site with Hua'er yourself.*
**[Lu Linglong]:** *Ohhh. Right.*
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** *@Kuroba Kaito, off work yet?*
**[Kuroba Kaito]:** *Just stole a gem and making my escape. What's up?*
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** *Just checking when your main plot starts.*
**[Kuroba Kaito]:** *Soon. I'll trigger a mission then.*
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** *See? Talking to smart people is effortless.*
**[Lu Linglong]:** *So what if he's smart? Can he be your wife? Bear your little Saiyans?*
**[Sakata Gintoki]:** *Gin-san thinks yes. Kaito's got cross-dressing skills—just chop off two little things, and he's good to go.*
**[Kuroba Kaito]:** *SCREW YOU, GIN!*
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** *So now you get it? Missions can be triggered many ways—just choose yours.*
**[Ding! Uzumaki Boruto has joined the chat!]**
**[Ding! Eucliwood Hellscythe has joined the chat!]**
**[Ding! Tsunade has joined the chat!]**
**[Namikaze Minato]:** *…*
**[Nami]:** *Oh boy.*
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** *Well, shit. This just got interesting.*
**[Kuroba Kaito]:** *Clockin' out. Time for popcorn.*
**[Tokisaki Kurumi]:** *Tch. The mega-cow's here. @Himejima Shinoa, you're demoted to second place.*
**[Himejima Shinoa]:** *Ara~ I concede defeat.*
**[Sakata Gintoki]:** *@Himejima Shinoa, Nah, she's sagging now. You're still #1.*
**[Lu Linglong]:** *The moment I saw those names, I knew drama was coming. Snacks ready!*
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** *Alright, quiet everyone. @Namikaze Minato, the stage is yours.*
**[Namikaze Minato]:** *@Uzumaki Boruto, Grandson, call me Grandpa.*
**[Uzumaki Boruto]:** *???*
**[Kashiwazaki Sena]:** *PFFT—I CAN'T! Sorry, carry on.*
**[Namikaze Minato]:** *@Uzumaki Boruto, don't you know me?*
**[Uzumaki Boruto]:** *I know Namikaze Minato—my dad's dad. But he's been dead for years.*
*@Tsunade, Granny Tsunade, why are you here too?*
**[Tsunade]:** *@Uzumaki Boruto, Who are you?*
*@Namikaze Minato, Minato, you're dead. Where is this?*
**[Namikaze Minato]:** *@Tsunade, First question: What year is it in Konoha?*
**[Tsunade]:** *Year 64. You died 17 years ago. Is this some afterlife chat?*
**[Namikaze Minato]:** *Got it. Now shut up.*
**[Tsunade]:** *EXCUSE ME?!*
**[Namikaze Minato]:** *@Uzumaki Boruto, How old are you, kid?*
**[Uzumaki Boruto]:** *12. I'll graduate from the Academy soon. Are you really Grandpa?*
**[Namikaze Minato]:** *I'm only 24, but yes, you're my grandson. I'll video-call you later as proof.*
**[Uzumaki Boruto]:** *Okay! I'll go tell Dad you're alive!*
**[Namikaze Minato]:** *WAIT—Don't tell my son yet. I'll explain everything.*
*First, call me Grandpa.*
**[Uzumaki Boruto]:** *No way! Not until you prove it!*
**[Namikaze Minato]:** *Heh. Smarter than Naruto was at your age.*
**[Tsunade]:** *Minato, are you alive or dead right now?*
**[Namikaze Minato]:** *Shut it, old hag.*
**[Tsunade]:** *You little—ALIVE OR DEAD, I'LL SMASH YOU!*
**[Uzumaki Boruto]:** *Granny Tsunade, calm down! Fighting's bad!*
**[Tsunade]:** *WHO'S YOUR GRANNY?! There's no "Uzumaki Boruto" in Konoha!*
**[Uzumaki Boruto]:** *But… I've always called you that. Dad does too.*
**[Tsunade]:** *SCREW OFF.*
**[Namikaze Minato]:** *@Tsunade, Yell at my grandson again, and I'll flatten Konoha.*