"Hello, Harold."
"What do you want?"
"I want to talk."
"About?"
"What is the most important thing for you?"
"Seriously? Is that really a question that needs an answer? Of course, my family."
"Oh, and why is that?"
"Because they are my own blood. My wife is my partner who I have vowed to stay with for my whole life. My children, the ones I raised with these very hands, are the greatest blessings to ever come."
"So, you say that it is because they are your own? You put your own time and effort, nurturing them with love, giving them food and shelter, watching them grow, it was all because they are your own. So, what differentiates their importance from a stranger?"
"I don't know them."
"And your friends?"
"We don't have that special bond."
"What bond?"
"Do you have a family? Have you ever loved?"
"Yes...I loved once."
"And you remember that feeling. That sensation, the burning desire within you to protect her and give her everything she wanted. That is the bond."
"Love comes and goes. That bond lasted noticeably short. I need an answer that lasts forever."
"Well, I guess its in our own nature to protect those we love. Humans are the truest animals. We behave like savages, kill, and conquer, fight for food, and build towers to protect ourselves. All for love. I guess its in our brains to behave in that way. I guess that is how we always behaved."
"So, it is something that is placed in our mind before we even exist?"
"I guess."
"So then, how can you truly say that you love someone?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it's simple. You say that we are born like this. Then this isn't what love is. It is just a natural reaction that occurs in our brains that is portrayed as this thing called love. If what you say is true, then our actions are not based on the feelings at that time, but they are based on what was already in our mind. We don't have this burning sensation. Nor this intense desire. Just chemical colliding inside our heads forcing us to make a certain move. Where is our own will? Our own choice?"
"That is our choices."
"Choices are made without any other variables. Destiny doesn't give us choices. It gives us a faced to please us for the time being. But the longer you live, and the more you experience, you will realise. We don't have a choice. We are shackles to fate. Slaves that are destined to commit certain acts until we die."
"No, you're thinking it the wrong way." I said my voice beginning to lower.
"Am I? How do we define the wrong way? Who chooses what is wrong and what is right?"
"People." I replied, my voice barely above a whisper.
"The same people that allow others to starve for their own benefits. The same people that spout their false morals to others yet never act themselves. Why do we decide what is wrong from those that act wrong?"
"We have God. He tells us what to do. We cannot single out those who stray from his path. That is on them, not on us, nor is it on God."
"God, you say. The kind of God that allows these people to continue to thrive and excel. People die. I hope you realise that. People truly do die. It isn't some fairytale sent from generations ago. We feel death. Every second that passes we inch closer to our end. The feeling of one day disappearing and never being able to live is frightening. Yet everything dies. The stars, the moon, the sun, our very own earth. We all soon die." He said with a hint of frustration, something I had never experienced from him.
"And you expect me to believe that someone you call God would take away such young souls without giving them a chance yet allowing the worst of them all to live for decades. Where is the justice? You say we love, yet we act based on what is already in us. You say we are wrong, yet you base what is wrong from those that commit wrongdoing themselves. You say God, yet that same God tarnishes a child's future. So, what now?" He continued, returning back to his usual monotone.
"But there is the greater good. Everything happens for a reason. One day we will all see the benefits that come from this."
"No matter how amazing the greater good is, it is worth nothing if achieved through the suffering and torment of a child."
And then I was silent. I couldn't retort back at him. I knew he was right. Heck, I wouldn't believe that greater good was worth it if it cost my own daughters life. But yet, I didn't want to accept defeat. I knew that if I did, he would have achieved what he came for. He wanted to break me, to shake my will, to make me question my own morality. But with my daughter laying right beside me, her innocent face, her bright future up ahead, I knew that he was right. Who are we to decide right and wrong? Who are we to say that God has told us how to act? Why don't we ever judge God? Is it just because we say he is so perfect and good that whatever bad happens is our own wrongdoings? Even though we are all mindless slaves to destiny. Something that he created himself.
Why? Why? Why?
Why do we suffer for God's play. All of us are just puppets to him. Moving us with strings to play to his tune. Is there a meaning then to this thing we call living? If we are always governed by someone else's choices, then what is our purpose. My daughter, the one I love with all my heart, why do I if not from my own love? But is it from my own love? Or is it another deception given to me by God. Is it time for me to reconsider my whole life? I feel as if I have fallen into a spider's web, entangled with layers of doubt, my mouth sewed shut with falsehood and my eyes blinded by illusions, and the spider itself watches from above relishing in my struggles as it weaves its webs over me until I can no longer breathe. For now, I know that that spider is God himself. And I have realised that I have always been his prisoner. This earth my cell and family my shackles.
"Hello, Annabeth."
"What do you want? I'm in no mood to hear your voice."
"Don't be so harsh. Can I not check up on my friend every once in a while?"
"Friend? Does this look like something you do to a friend? You may as well put shackles on me at this rate!"
"Would that bring you comfort?"
"You're sick. Do you not feel empathy for others. Have you never loved? Never been loved?"
"Would you believe me if I said yes?"
I let out a chuckle. "You and love? Enlighten me."
"It was a long time ago; I was young and foolish. I didn't understand much about the world, yet I wanted everything. And one of the things I wanted was to feel this thing that everyone bragged about. This thumping pleasure within your heart that feels like heaven. I was curious, and in my curiosity I fell. And I fell hard for someone. I gave her everything I could. I understood what it meant. I understood what people spoke about. This sensational feeling. It was brilliant. Yet it ended far too quickly. And that was when I knew the lies. It never existed. It never had existed. Love is fake. A façade that is built out of boredom and curiosity. When we speak of love we speak of extreme happiness. But even the highest of people lose steam. And that is the same for love. Overtime, that love weakens and soon you realise it never was love. No one has ever experienced true love. And I don't think anyone ever will. So, what would be the point of searching for it in the first place?" His voice was so low and melancholy that I knew he was being genuine.
"We don't live forever. Only through failures do we understand accomplishments. Because we fall are we able to rise up. It isn't the other way around. Loving and losing that love doesn't mean it can never come back for someone else. If you looked hard and long enough maybe you could have found it too. And maybe that person could have brought out a better side of you. Someone that didn't find satisfaction in other people's demise. Maybe, if you had found love again, we could have conversed and became friends and even...even partners." I replied, feeling sorrow for my own captor. Something I had never experienced before.
"Perhaps you are right? But I do not dwell on what could have been. I only focus on what is. And all I see is that love is fake, and pain is endless. And so, I shall continue to venture forward in the name of science and exploration. I cannot waver now for I am too far gone. You must understand it too? Do you not? The burning desire to discover?" He spoke.
"Maybe I do have love. But not for someone. But for something. And that must be science. I have shaped my whole life around it and it has shaped me. And in the future, I must continue to allow it to shape me. I need at least something to be my driving factor in life, don't I?" His voice resuming back to a mocking tone.
"At least you have understood what drives you. For you it may be science. But for me it is relations. Let us continue to fight until one of our ideals fall to the other. Then we can decide who truly is right. Your science vs my relations. Are you prepared?" My voice stern and cold.
I could hear him laugh through the speaker. It was a sickening laugh from which I could feel the excitement radiating onto me. Before long, I could not help but laugh myself and we both stayed in that loop for a while, laughing like maniacs. After a while, we both stopped, and I awaited his response.
"I was right to choose you, my dear Annabeth. No one can match up to you. You truly are one of a kind."
"Thank you for the compliment. So, what is your answer? Are you sure you want to fight?"
"I can never say no to a challenge. Let us see how long it takes. Either I break you, or you break me. I hope your will is strong enough for what is to come. I won't go easy, even if it is you." I could feel the craziness behind his words.
He was excited. But so was I. I let out a small, psychotic smirk, placing my finger under my lip and stared dead into the speaker, my eyes ice cold.
"Bring it on."
Sitting next to my daughter, I had quite a while to contemplate and think about my life. I knew that everything that I had done was for them.
But do I continue for them?
I thought. Instantly feeling a wave of disgust fill me, I slapped myself before any other vile thoughts erupted out.
How could I think about that about my very own children? My own wife? I know that devil's tricks. I must not succumb no matter what happens. Maybe but faith in God has begun to crumble, but I pray that his destiny favours me.
God! If you can hear me, do not forsake your worshipper! I beg you, save my children! Save them from this torment and keep them safe! Allow me to rectify my sins! If you show that you have not forsaken me in this dire moment, I shall never lose my faith in you again. But what can I do? I am helpless. What father would not go to any length for their own children? Even if it is against God himself. Save me! And I shall spend the rest of my life continuing to be your slave! I shall dance to your tunes! Please, God.
"NO NO NO! STOP, PLEASE STOP, I'M SORRY!"
Jumping up my head darted around the room, trying to find out where that scream came from. It was a loud shriek; a wail and I intuitively knew who the voice was from.
Jolynn.
Running around the room, I tried to find out where the sound came from.
"JOLYNN! ARE YOU OKAY? WHERE ARE YOU?" I screamed hoping that she heard me.
"STOP, PLEASE LET ME LIVE. DON'T DO THIS TO ME. PLEASE. FORGIVE ME. NO!"
And then there was dead silence. I slumped against the wall, my heart beating insanely fast as I covered my face. I could feel sweat fall from my forehead as my breathing felt heavy.
What the hell happened to her? That bastard, what is he doing to her? She is only a child, for God's sake. What happened to his moral speech a while back? Please God, help...
"Jolynn, where are you!" I screamed scampering around the four walls trying to find her location. "Jolynn, answer me. It's Annabeth. Oh God."
She isn't dead, right? He couldn't have. He wouldn't. That devil. Is this how he is trying to win. Using such underhanded tactics. Oh God, please help us. Save us from this torment.
I lay against the walls, tears forming in my eyes as I began to weep. Alone in this prison, hoping that my dear friend is alive.
Amen.