"Please. I can't lose you. Not again.
Bang Chan's words are distant as I slip in and out of consciousness…so distant they could be a dream…
Again?
The forest is clear above me, then there is only darkness…the pack house, I.N crying, darkness again…
"Save her. You have to."
Bang Chan's voice pulls me back. I'm stripped on a table at the pack house, Bang Chan standing over me with a man I don't recognize.
"Hold her still."
"What are you–"
"I need to stop the bleeding and stitch the wound. There's no time for anesthesia."
Bang Chan bends down, placing his hands on my shoulders.
"I'm right here, (Y/N). It's going to be okay."
"B-Bang Chan…don't let go. Please. I feel…"
"I won't. I've got you. I promise."
I feel a sharp pain in my abdomen and I scream, gritting my teeth.
"(Y/N)!" Bang Chan calls my name in fear.
"I said hold her still!" the man demands.
Bang Chan's hold on me tightens. Through his hands, our true mate bond finds me, hot and familiar.
"Please, (Y/N)..."
For a fleeting moment, I feel my strength return and the unbearable pain dulls.
Is he…trying to help me? Or am I just imagining it?
I try to hold still, but a blinding pain makes me arch my back, loosening Bang Chan's grip. The heat from his hands dies down and the pain returns in full force. I cry out.
"You can use your bond to ease her pain, Bang Chan, but only if she allows it." the man informs.
Bang Chan tightens his grip again. I look up into his eyes. They gleam not with magic, but with fear, desperation, and…
"(Y/N), please…you have to let me in. You have to trust me. It won't work if you don't."
I feel the soothing warmth of Bang Chan's bond attempt to tickle back in, blocked by something I put in place.
"Trust me. Let me in."
"Okay."
My voice comes out dry and weak, even to my own ears. But it's enough. Bang Chan smiles, his presence like a pillar as he squeezes my hand.
"Thank you."
The warmth comes in waves each wash upon the shore lapping away the pain. I feel the doctor work, I feel odd movement in my abdomen, but I don't feel any discomfort.
"I didn't know this was possible."
"It's a bond between both of us, remember? It goes both ways.
Bang Chan gives me a small, encouraging smile.
"You're my true mate, (Y/N). But don't forget that I'm yours."
Heat blooms in my chest, startling me. It's not from the surgery, or the bond… After what seems like only minutes, the doctor stops.
"She's stable. Let's get her to a bed."
"Okay."
Bang Chan lifts me effortlessly in his arms. I knot a hand in his shirt. I turn my face into Bang Chan's shoulder, holding onto him with both hands. He holds me closer, his lips brushing the top of my head.
"Just read, (Y/N). It's okay."
He carries me up the stairs, then sets me gently on the bed in my room. The doctor comes to my side to wrap my wound in a layer of fresh gauze.
"She's stable for now, but the blood loss and infection are worrying me. If she gets a fever–"
"What do we do then, JYP? Is there medicine?" Bang Chan cuts off the doctor.
"That's what I was down in the city trying to get. But you called me back here in a panic and–"
"Just tell me what we do."
The doctor sighs.
"There is something, but…"
"What is it?"
Bang Chan's voice comes out in a possessive growl, and the doctor puts his hands up in defense.
"To ensure she survives the night, the two of you need to bond in a way you haven't before. Through your bodies."
It might be the pain or the exhaustion. I definitely didn't hear him right.
"Do you mean…sex?" Bang Chan asked with a brow raised.
"Sex?! I'm not exactly in the mood."
"No, no. You're far too weak for that. But skin on skin contact will help. Touching as much of each other as you can."
I flush red hot at his words and look down at my bandages.
"Your wound is serious. This is the best way to ensure that you stabilize and heal quickly."
The doctor straightens, smoothing out his clothes with precision.
"I'll give you two some privacy."
JYP leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. Bang Chan turns to me. For a beat, neither of us say a thing. We just stare at each other.
"Skin on skin…what do you think about that?" I ask, finally breaking the silence.
"I mean, it's not my first choice for getting you naked."
"Shut up."
A low laugh leaves Bang Chan's mouth. His hands move up and he removes his jacket.
"Look, I…I know it's not ideal, but…"
He sighs, meeting my eyes again. All the humor has left him.
"I need you to heal, (Y/N)."
Bang Chan slowly pulls his shirt off over his head. The scarred muscles of his chest gleam in the low light, tumbling down to a sharp vee that disappears beneath his belt.
"I need you to survive."
The sheer conviction in his voice makes me pause. He comes closer, his hands moving toward his waistline.
"I won't try anything. I'm just going to hold you. You can trust me."
"I can trust you?"
Bang Chan nods, unbuckling his belt.
"You can trust me."
Then, he pulls his pants down, exposing all of himself to me. My eyes travel down over his sculpted chest, over that taught vee, to rest on the astonishing length of him. Bang Chan moves under the blankets, coming closer to me.
"This okay?"
His arms slide gently around me, careful not to disturb my wound. His legs thread with mine. Heat erupts from the contact, traveling through me like magma. It lights up every vein in my body, dissolving the pain to nothing.
"(Y/N), I asked you a question."
"W-what?"
"Is this alright?"
"Yeah. You can shift closer if you want."
"Like this?"
Bang Chan moves his body closer to mine, every inch of him now pressing tight to my flesh.
"Yes. Just like that."
I gasp at the sensation of him, his smooth skin and the pulsing heat between his body and mine.
"You're…so hot…"
"Yeah. You are, too."
No jokes, no sarcasm. Bang Chan huffs and shuts his eyes, clearly overwhelmed by his bond with me. The feeling of me. My eyes flutter as my body finally relaxes, the exhaustion of the past two days overcoming me.
"Just sleep. I'll be right here."
I fall asleep, the steady pulse of my bond with Bang Chan nothing compared to his touch. I wake to mid-morning sunlight, feeling far better than the night before.
My God…did all of that really happen yesterday? My father…then Bang Chan…
"(Y/N)…"
That's when I notice Bang Chan still wrapped tight around me, fast asleep. His brow furrows as he mumbles my name.
"(Y/N), no. Please, no."
Bang Chan grits his teeth and begins to shake, his face twisted in pain.
"I'm sorry. This is…all my fault…"
He's having a full-blown nightmare not knowing that I'm okay.
Pushing past the dull pain in my stomach, I stretch my hand out and caress Bang Chan's cheek.
"Bang Chan, I'm okay."
"(Y/N)–"
I thread my fingers through his thick hair, gently stroking his brow.
"Hey, Bang Chan. Open your eyes."
Slowly, his eyes open. They widen at the sight of me touching him.
"(Y/N)."
Suddenly shy, I try to pull my hand away, but he catches it, holding it close to his face.
"You're awake. You're okay."
"Yeah. And now you are, too, thanks to me. What were you dreaming about?"
The light in his eyes falters a bit at my question. He slides himself free of my body and pulls on his clothes.
"Nothing important."
"Come on, you can tell me."
"Why don't you tell me how you're feeling?"
"I feel like I slept for a week. That was…what I needed. Thank you."
He moves the blankets back to check my wound.
"It's a little better. That's good."
I nod, sitting up and shifting away from him to swing my legs over the bed.
"Where are you going?"
"I feel fine. I'm going to check on the others."
"They're fine. They spent the night with their families, healing."
"I still want to make sure they're okay. I.N especially."
"You can check on him after you've rested more."
Ignoring Bang Chan, I move to stand, but he grabs my wrist.
"Stop."
"I may be your mate but I'm not your property. I'll do what I want."
"This isn't up for debate."
In one swift motion, Bang Chan pins me back down on the bed. He hovers above me, a low snarl curling over his full mouth.
"You wouldn't be in this position if you hadn't been such an idiot."
"Excuse me?"
"You stabbed yourself. In the stomach."
"I was aiming for my thigh."
"Not the point!"
"And the pain snapped me out of Taecyeon's control."
"You made yourself vulnerable to those monsters."
"What about you? Maybe we wouldn't be in this mess if you were more honest with me."
"What are you talking about?"
"I heard you before. You said, "I can't lose you again.""
Bang Chan's eyes widen a fraction and he loosens his grip on me.
"What does "again" mean?"
"Nothing. I didn't even say that. You imagined it."
"I guess I can't trust you."
"I've risked my life to save you!"
"You've risked your life to go against Taecyeon!"
I grab his collar and yank him down, but I gasp when a stabbing pain grips my abdomen.
"(Y/N)?"
Bang Chan reaches down. His fingers come away stained with blood from my reopened wound.
"Fuck, you're bleeding again!"
"I am?"
He moves to try and staunch the wound but I turn away.
"Stop being so stubborn and let me help you, damn it!"
He pins me again, his face so close to mine, his eyes burning. There's anger and worry in his gaze…and something carnal.
"I…"
A strange heat fills my belly as I stare up at him, and I swallow my words. He tilts his head. All he has to do is lean forward.
"(Y/N)…"
Slowly, Bang Chan moves his hands until they gently grip my waist.
"Just hold still."
After a long moment, I nod.
"Good girl."
Bang Chan lifts me into his lap, reaching for my bandages. He presses his hand against the gauze and I hiss.
"Ow."
"I know. I'm sorry."
He pulls down my bandages and slowly licks the edges of my torn flesh. I release a shaky breath at the relief that brings as my body reacts to his mouth.
"Better?"
I run my fingers through his hair, cupping the back of his head as he places another long lick across my burning skin.
"Bang Chan…do that again." I groan.
"Bossy. But okay."
He drags his tongue over my shivering skin once again, and my vision blurs. I can feel his grip on my hips begin to tighten, the bond between us growing warmer.
"Tell me to keep going, (Y/N)."
Suddenly, Bang Chan's voice changes. It's deep, more earnest. Hungrier.
"Tell me to keep going."
He releases a hot breath over me, whispering through a half-open mouth.
"I'll make all the pain go away."
"Bang Chan…keep going." I moan.
What comes out of Bang Chan's mouth is half sigh, half laugh. His hair brushes my skin as he guides me down onto my back.
"Come here."
His tongue is hotter than I've ever felt it, slipping ever so slowly up my stomach. The trail of pleasure he leaves is mind bending. It's as though bells ring just beneath the surface of my flesh. I arch my back and he grips me harder. His tongue snakes higher, and higher…
"You taste…"
He is nowhere near my wound now. His tongue finds the space between my breasts and I gasp.
"Bang Chan…"
A low growl leaves his throat, and he sucks down. My hands dig into his hair on a moan. Bliss explodes beneath his mouth, spreading outward over my breasts, my collar bone, my neck…
"Fuck."
Bang Chan swears against my cleavage, and I think I feel him harden. Then, he pulls back, completely out of breath, his chest rising and falling rapidly. I pull the gauze back up.
"That was…"
"What's all the racket in here? I can hear you two floors down and–"
Bang Chan and I break apart as JYP comes into the room. His eyes widen as he takes in the blood over my bandages.
"Bang Chan! You're supposed to be helping her heal, not making it worse."
"I'm sorry. Sometimes she's just so…"
"So what?" I urge him to continue.
"Frustrating. Stubborn. Aggravating as hell."
"Well, you're bad at insults!"
Even though it was me who was bad at insults.
"Okay, okay. Enough."
The doctor sighs and walks over to me, separating me from Bang Chan.
"I don't think we had a chance to meet properly yesterday, (Y/N). I'm Parker Jin-Young, but you can call me JYP."
Instead of extending his hand to me, he begins to examine my wound.
"I'm the pack doctor here. I see from the cut on your arm and the half-healed bruises on your neck that you've been in need of my services."
"Well, Bang Chan was really helpful in your absence."
I catch Bang Chan off guard from across the room. He blinks in surprise.
"Hm. I can see that, actually. He's done a fine job managing the swelling, and there's no infection. Nice job, sir."
"Thank you."
"But this wound is just too deep…"
JYP touches my abdomen and I bite back a yelp.
"You know, if you did have sex, this would heal in five minutes."
"What? Would it really heal that quickly?" I ask in surprise.
"Medical fact." the doctor claims.
"Or non-medical bribe." I scoff.
"You said yourself she doesn't even have the strength, JYP." Bang Chan reminds him.
"Alright. Some light making out perhaps?"
"No!"
"Not a chance!"
Bang Chan and I practically speak over each other. JYP sighs heavily.
"If you insist on abstaining, I think this will take about a week to heal."
"A week is not too bad." I shrug.
"That's only if you and our Alpha have sessions of skin on skin contact. I'm prescribing an hour a day."
"An hour?" I ask.
"At least." he replies.
"Can I at least be allowed out of this room?"
"Of course. Some fresh air might do you good. That is…"
JYP trails off when he catches a look from Bang Chan.
"With the permission of your Alpha, of course."
I open my mouth to protest, but a rock hitting my window stops me.
"(Y/N)?"
I.N's voice carries up from the yard below. I walk over to the window. Sure enough, I.N is there in Han's arms, waving at me.
"(Y/N), you're okay! Can you please come down?"
My heart leaps at the sight of the little boy. I throw on some clothes and turn to run down the stairs.
"Not so fast. You heard the doctor." he grins.
"Yeah, he said I could go outside." I return the grin.
"With the permission of your Alpha. And your Alph says that's only happening if you let me carry you." he says turning his grin into a smile.
"You can't be serious."
"That would be best. Your wound did reopen just minutes ago." the doctor points out.
I stare, stunned. Before I can protest, Bang Chan lifts me into his arms.
"Just accept a little help." Bang Chan says with a sigh.
"(Y/N), pleeease? I promise I'll be good if you come!"
"Fine. If you insist."
Bang Chan pulls me closer to his chest with a smirk.
"I do insist."
He keeps me cradled gently as he carries me down to the estate's forested grounds. I.N is there with Han and Lee Know, bouncing up and down with excitement.
"(Y/N)!"
I.N sprints over to me as Bang Chan gently lowers me to the ground.
"Go easy on her, little man. She's been through a lot." Bang Chan smiles.
I sink down to I.N's level and open my arms to him.
"Come here, bud. I've been so worried about you."
I.N beams and folds me in the most gently, careful hug he can muster.
"I'm okay. But you got so hurt."
"I'm fine, I.N, don't worry." I reassure the young boy.
"See? She's all okay, just like we talked about. The two of you can stop worrying." Han smiles.
"Two of you?"
I look up at Lee Know with a cocked eyebrow. He kicks the dirt at his feet.
"You were pretty banged up. Excuse me for giving a shi–"
"Language." Han corrects Lee Know.
"Listen…I'm sorry I.N was taken because of me. It's the last thing I wanted."
"It's not your fault." Han assures me.
"Yes, it is."
I turn to find Seungmin leaning against the house, seething with anger.
"What part of this isn't your fault?"
"Seungmin, what is your issue with me?" I say returning a glare.
"Where do I begin?"
Seungmin walks toward me, his words dripping with venom.
"You bonded with our Alpha, revealed our location, brought your murderous father to our doorstep–"
"That's enough."
Bang Chan puts his hand on Seungmin's chest to halt him. They stare each other down for a long, tense moment.
"You're right. It is enough. Enough of her."
Seungmin storms off into the treeline, leaving everyone silent. I feel a tug at my side.
"(Y/N), I'm glad you're here. Thank you for saving me."
I can't help but smile looking down at I.N.
"I'd do it again. Any day."
After some much needed Vitamin D, Bang Chan carries me back upstairs and eases me down into my bed.
"Do you want me to stay again?"
I think back on his nightmare.
"No, that's okay. You could use a night in your own bed." I say with a small smile.
"Okay. If you're sure."
Bang Chan walks to the door.
"Goodnight and…fell better soon."
I nod, and he closes the door. Alone for the first time in ages, I hit my pillow hard, falling asleep fast. Hours later, in the cover of darkness, I wake with a start. A sharp, calloused hand closes around my mouth and I stare up into hateful eyes. Seungmin's eyes.
"Time to put an end to you, traitor."