After years, I've discovered that my cryptic, nightmarish dreams are really repressed memories. And Bang Chan is in those memories.
"I did know you when we were kids, (Y/N). I took you away from that place. From your father."
In the freezing rain, Bang Chan's eyes burn into mine. He pulls me closer, rain clinging to his hair, his full mouth…
"You're not making any sense."
"Just listen to me." I saved your life, and I'd do it again. Damn the consequences."
"But why? Why did you do it? Why did you–"
Instead of answering, Bang Chan takes my face in his hands…and he kisses me. The rain beating down, the pain, the confusion, it all disappears beneath his lips He holds me fast, his kiss like I've never experienced before. My fingers trace his rain streaked jaw, and closing my eyes, I press my lips hard against his. His breath catches as I kiss him fiercely, lost in the scent, the feeling of his body against mine.
"(Y/N)…"
He whispers my name into my mouth, like a promise. Like an answer to so many questions. I press my forehead to his, gripping his soaked shirt.
"Bang Chan…this feels real."
"It is. I've never been more honest in my life."
Bang Chan's hands slide inside my wet clothes, curling over the small of my back.
"Everything I've ever done has been for you."
He bows his head, his lips grazing mine as he speaks.
"Everything."
He kisses me again. His mouth is sweet and teasing at first, his hands on my waist a gentle grip. Then, he forces my lips to part. His tongue darts into my mouth, and my knees buckle.
Bang Chan. My true mate.
Lost in his kiss, I rake my hands into Bang Chan's thick, rain soaked hair. His grip on me tightens.
"God, what are you doing to me?"
Breathing hard, Bang Chan kisses me again, walking me back until I'm against the stone steps. Our true mate bond flames like liquid metal in our veins, and I lower myself against the steps. Bang Chan is on top of me, his tongue tangling with mine in a deep and passionate kiss.
"Fuck. I can't stop. I don't want to."
His hands under my shirt inch higher and higher.
"Bang Chan…don't stop." I beg him.
With my words, Bang Chan kisses me again, harder. I lose myself in his lips, in his tongue. His kiss is all-consuming, mingled with rain water, his vanilla scent, his longing. His fingers skim up my stomach, over my ribs. Higher and higher.
"(Y/N)."
He cups my breasts over my bra. A small sound escapes me and he huffs. Even through the fabric, his touch is like fire, warming me until the rain beating down feels like nothing at all.
"God, you feel good. So good."
He molds me beneath his grasp and I gasp. He catches my open mouth in a kiss. His eyes skate over my body as he fondles me, rocking against me. I feel him grow hard. When a massive crack of lightning flashes, I raise my hips to meet his. The bond jolts from my body to his, a flame brighter and hotter than I've ever felt before. We both gasp. It's enough to make us pause.
"We…we should get inside." he tells me.
"Right. Yeah."
Taking his hand, we run back into the dojo right when the worst of the storm passes overhead. As soon as the door is shut, Bang Chan looks down at my hand in his.
"You're trembling."
"I know. But I'll be fine."
"Always the brave one, aren't you?"
A small laugh escapes him as he caresses my cheek. When he feels my skin, he grows serious.
"(Y/N), you're freezing."
I shudder, feeling my drenched clothes cling to my skin.
"We need to get these off of you."
"We?"
"A little help never hurt anyone." he grins.
Bang Chan finds a stack of towels next to the water cooler. He pulls a fluffy, dry one from the pile. He moves closer to me, taking the hem of my shirt, tugging it up to expose an inch of skin.
"Bang Chan–"
"Shh."
Carefully, Bang Chan drags the towel over my midriff, followed by a shower of tingling goosebumps.
"I'll warm you up."
The heat from his chest is nearly irresistible as he moves the towel higher, pulling my clothes along with it. As he drags the towel over the silver of my exposed flesh, he dips down and kisses me there.
"Come here."
"Okay."
That single word is all he needs. Inch after inch, Bang Chan peels the soaked fabric from my body, dragging the towel gently over my navel, my ribcage… With each stroke of the towel, he follows with a kiss. His lips leave a splash of warmth wherever they go.
"Better?"
"Yeah."
He pulls my shirt higher, over my bra, working the towel to dry every drop from my cleavage. I feel his hot breath on my skin as he works. Feel the soft brush of his hair…
"What you said before. That everything you've done has been for me."
"It's the truth."
"Everything?"
"Everything since we met. And long before that."
He lingers near my chest, rubbing the towel softly between my breasts. My heart beats fast.
"…Arms up."
I raise my arms and he pulls my top clean off. He towels off my neck, my arms…he kisses my shoulder…"
"What about you? You must be cold."
"Me?"
Bang Chan tugs at the hem of his own shirt, his muscles clear through the soaked cotton. I look away.
"You can look if you want to." he smirks.
"I'll do more than look."
I reach up and take the shirt from his hands. He grins.
"My lucky day."
He raises his arms and I skate the fabric over his rock hard abs, over his pecks, and off his head. Bang Chan's long, cut body radiates an intoxicating warmth. He steps closer to me.
"You still look a little cold. There's only so much a towel can do."
Bang Chan opens his long, sculpted arms to me, pulling me closer.
"I'll finish the job."
I step into Bang Chan's warm embrace, allowing him to fold his arms across my bare back. The heat from his body seeps into me like a warm bath after a winter's day, spreading to the tips of my toes.
"Better than a towel?"
"Much better."
I press my cheek to his chest and feel him nuzzle my hair. His heartbeat quickens.
"Thank you."
"Isn't that my line?"
His hands slide lower, to the base of my spine.
"No, it's mine. I'm grateful. I get warmer the closer you get. I guess I have since you came back into my life."
The word "back" echoes in my mind.
How long have we really known each other?
We find each other's eyes again, feeling the pull from our bond…and something more. Something that feels almost scary. I step back.
"Um, I'll hang our clothes to dry."
"Okay. Sounds good."
Once our clothes are dry, we dress and look at the sun peaking through the dojo windows.
"It's nearly morning. I think the rain has stopped."
Bang Chan doesn't answer. Looking past me through the window, his eyes harden.
"That's a good thing, isn't it?"
"Hyunjin will be back soon. With reinforcements from your father's pack."
"Should we go back to the estate? I can pack my things quickly."
"We can't. They'll be watching for us on all the mountain paths. Now that they know you can shift, they're not going to waste any time in coming for you. You're a threat to them now."
"A threat to them? Glad they're catching on."
"I'm not glad of it. Not at all."
Bang Chan runs his hand over the sill, gripping it with white knuckles.
"You're my true mate, Taecyeon's daughter, and now a powerful shifter. You're someone they need to use. Or kill. There's no in-between. And on top of that…"
Bang Chan turns back to me, his eyes glinting gold.
"What you did with that water…weaponizing it against Hyunjin… I've never seen anything like that."
"I finally impressed you. About time." I laugh.
"That's the understatement of the year. No one can control the elements like you did. And your eyes…"
Bang Chan walks to me, reaching out to touch the corner of my eye.
"Blue…there hasn't been a wolf in living memory with blue eyes."
"Really?" I ask with a smile.
"Really. You're special, (Y/N). Special in ways your father can't predict. That's why you're dangerous to them."
"Well, good. Let them be scared."
"Brave as usual. I should have expected that."
Bang Chan grips my arms tight.
"But I don't want us here when they come to test your metal."
He looks over my shoulder at the door.
"I just don't know where to go where they won't find us."
"We can try Jooe's apartment. She's in the process of moving in with her girlfriend. I crash at her place in Boulder all the time."
"Boulder? That big city down below?"
"You've never been?"
"No. I've never been past this town. The mountains are my home."
"Well, there's a first time for everything."
We head out at first light and make it safely to Jooe's apartment. Sure enough, it's empty.
"See? We should be good to wait here for a day at least."
"Good thinking. They won't sniff us out around all these people. I've never seen so many."
Bang Chan walks to the window, looking out at the busy street. A silence settles between us.
"Bang Chan…about my dream…about what you said before…"
Bang Chan turns around, his sleek, athletic form sharp against the bright window.
"You said that you knew me back when we were young. That you've always known me."
How can he remember me when we were young, but not me?
"I did. I have." he replies.
"But that doesn't make any sense."
"I know. It must be confusing."
And he was right. I'm utterly confused about this whole thing.
"Then explain it to me. Please."
A long silence sinks over the room. Finally, Bang Chan walks over to me, his footsteps echoing in the quiet.
"It would be a lot easier if I show you instead."
"Show me?"
"I think I can break through whatever is keeping your memories blocked. But in order to do that, I'll have to mark you."
Bang Chan's words spread through my body, slowly sinking in.
"I'm not sure I understand."
"It's a bite. A bite shared between Alpha and mate. An act of bonding and…"
He is in front of me now, tall and powerful as he looks down at me.
"…and an act of devotion."
I swallow hard, staring up at his angular jaw, his full mouth. The memory of his kiss still lingers on my lips.
"If I mark you, (Y/N), I can pull your memories to the surface like a command. I can show you your past."
The promise of questions answered is more than I can resist.
"Bang Chan…please mark me."
"Please? Okay…"
Bang Chan's echoes my words, his hands skating slowly up my arms. His voice grows low.
"Where do you want me to mark you?"
He leans in close, his mouth open and inviting. He traces my neckline, his eyes trained on the dip of my chest.
"Tell me where, (Y/N). Tell me where to take you."
"My chest…near my heart."
Bang Chan's eyes widen a fraction at my bold choice, and I think I catch a hint of a smile on his mouth.
"Okay. Come here."
He steps closer, hooking an arm around my back and drawing me closer. I go willingly.
"Try and relax. And trust me."
"I do. I trust you."
He nods, shifting my shirt down to expose my bra, and the swell of my breasts.
"Hold onto me if you need to."
I grip his shoulders, swallowing as he breathes in my scent, his eyes closing. There is something intoxicating and heady about his nearness, his lips tracing patterns over my heartbeat.
"Ready?"
That's all the warning I get before his teeth sink down over the curve of my left breast. I gasp. There is no pain, just light pressure, heat, and an almost dizzying pleasure.
"Bang Chan…harder…bit me harder."
"Another time, my mate. But now–nal gieoghae."
Bang Chan speaks the words against my hot, marked flesh, and the strange command sinks deep, far beyond my flesh. It spreads through me, making my eyelids heavy, my knees weak…
"Bang Chan–"
"It's alright. I've got you."
Bang Chan's arms come around me as my body goes limp and my mind slips away. Slowly, an image gathers itself together, puzzle pieces slotting into place from different corners of my mind. How long ago was it? Years. Years and…
~Years ago…~
Jolting, I stare at my hands. They're small. Everything about me is small, and everything around me is taller.
I was a child…
I stand in a hallway, barely peeking through the door. Inside, Taecyeon is speaking to a woman.
My mother.
"It can't be true, can it?" the woman gasps.
"Prophecy is never wrong, Jihyo. And if she's prophesied to bring down our entire pack, the answer is clear: We kill (Y/N). Before she can destroy us all."
I back away, panic and fear coursing through my veins. Quickly, I turn and run. As I stumble into the encampment, I rush toward the tent that feels like my second home.
I need him. I need my best friend.
"Bang Chan! Bang Chan, are you home?"
When there isn't an answer, I hastily unzip the tent's opening. I almost run into someone as I burst inside. I jolt, looking up into familiar eyes. Bang Chan's young face is before me, as calm and kind as I've ever seen him. His brow furrows.
"(Y/N)? What's wrong?" he asks.
"My father… He–he said he wants to kill me." I inform him with tears in my eyes.
"What?"
Bang Chan's face twists with worry. He takes my hands.
"I won't let Alpha hurt you. No matter what? You're my best friend, (Y/N). And we're going to be married one day."
I smile as I feel the surge of comfort his touch always brings.
"(Y/N)? Where are you, my darling? Mommy wants to talk."
My mother pushes aside the tent door, coming inside. Bang Chan shoves me behind his back. Jihyo's smile when she sees me puts an icy sensation in the pit of my stomach.
"I just want to talk, my love." she lies.
"No…you want to kill me!" I shout.
"Kill–? You overheard your father?"
She bends down, holding her hand out to me.
"Listen. He didn't mean that. And even if he did, he'd have to get past me first."
"Really?"
"Really. Come here, baby."
Slowly, tentatively, I step out from behind Bang Chan and take my mother's hand. She pulls me into a soft hug.
"That's right. No one is going to hurt you."
I bury my face in her hair. She strokes my back, my neck…
"After all, that's my duty. As your mother."
"What?"
With a low snarl, my mother's hands curl tight around my neck, her eyes glowing and teeth bared as she chokes me.
"Let her go!"
Young Bang Chan tries to pull her off, but Jihyo knocks him back with a swipe of her hand.
"And now for you."
My mother's hands close around my throat, blocking off my airway. I scrabble against her, searching frantically for a way to escape, and my eyes fall on a nearby oil lamp.
"Bang Chan, help me!"
He rushes forward but my mother pushes him back with the other hand. He tumbles back, knocking over the lamp. Fire leaps up along the spilled oil and onto the tent fabric. My mother roars with fury as the flames begin to lick higher, but she doesn't relax her grip.
"I'll kill you myself and let you burn, you cursed child."
Darkness creeps along the edges of my vision. I can't breathe.
Am I…going to die?
Suddenly, the pain dims and the grip around my throat goes slack.
"Wh-what?"
Gasping for breath, I look up and see Bang Chan standing over us both. He's holding a hunting knife over my mother.
"I won't let you kill her."
His expression is wild, his teeth bared with primal rage. He raises the knife high and stabs my mother in the back.
"I won't!"
He stabs her again, and again, and again.
"You will not take her from me!"
With a final groan, Jihyo slumps to the ground, bleeding out. The silence that falls over the tent is stunned, laced with poisonous dread.
"I…I killed her."
I stare in shock at her lifeless body. But part of me knows deep inside my heart that it could have been me lying there.
"Bang Chan…you saved me." I tell him.
"B-but I…"
Then, he shakes his head, brave resolve on his face.
"We have to go."
Bang Chan grabs my hand and pulls me out of the burning tent. Just as we step outside, the fire bursts up and upon like spitting venom. The fire catches on the nearby tents, and I realize the whole camp is in danger. But Bang Chan pulls my arm, forcing me to keep pace with him as he guides me out of the camp.
"(Y/N)!"
My father screams my name. But it isn't out of worry, it isn't out of love or fear.
"(Y/N)!"
He's screaming in rage. I keep running until I hear Bang Chan's mother screaming.
"Bang Chan! Where are you?"
I turn and see several of my father's guards holding her down.
"Let me go, Bang Chan!"
"I can't!"
"You have to. You need to save your mother. You need to save yourself."
"(Y/N)…"
"Bang Chan, please. Please, you have to let me go."
My eyes well up with tears as I break down sobbing, and Bang Chan stops.
"(Y/N), I–"
"Please. I'll never forgive myself if…if…"
Bang Chan's mother screams in the distance, and my stomach lurches. His eyes widen as he looks from me, to the encampment, then back at me again.
"(Y/N)…"
He swallows, then gives a slow nod.
"Okay, but first…"
He digs into his bright red backpack.
"I was waiting for your birthday, but here."
He takes my wrist and rolls a small bracelets onto it.
"I made this for you. Take it, and remember me."
"Bang Chan, I love it."
"Yeah? Well, I…"
We stare at one another, unnamed and unfamiliar emotions stirring inside me. But the moment is short lived as the distant shouting starts to grow closer. Bang Chan looks back in the direction of the angry pack, his expression pained.
"Go. Get out of here while you can."
Nodding shakily, I step away from Bang Chan. Soon, I leave him behind, running through the thick forest. I sprint as fast as I can, batting aside branches.
"Ah!"
My foot catches on a stray root that sends me tumbling down a steep, rocky hill. When I come to a few minutes later, my head is pounding and my leg feels twisted at an odd angle. Then, a soft voice sounds nearby, familiar and quiet.
"Try not to move, (Y/N). You nearly died with that fall." the man whispers.
"Dr. JYP? What are you doing here?"
"I followed you out here. I was worried."
He smiles sweetly, his hand passing over my eyes.
"They're after you, (Y/N). They're going to catch up at any moment."
"What should I do?"
"Just breathe. I can help you, okay?"
The doctor's hand comes over my forehead gently.
"I'll make it all go away."
Heart pounding, confusion and fear fogging my mind, I nod.
"O-okay."
His hand passes over my eyes.
"Da ij-eo beolyeo."
The next thing I remember is standing in front of a foster group home, utterly alone, remembering nothing.
But I remember now.
My eyes shoot open and I take in Jooe's apartment once more. Bang Chan is standing over me, his face uncertain.
"You okay?"
"Bang Chan…they wanted to kill me." I tell him with tears in my eyes.
"I know. Do you remember why–"
But then he stops short. His breath ceases and his eyes grow wide.
"Bang Chan?"
"Hngh…"
He begins to shake, his whole body wracked with tremors.
"Bang Chan, are you okay? What–"
Suddenly, Bang Chan springs to his feet, his legs bent, his expression wild. Then, before I can breathe, he bolts from the apartment.
"Bang Chan! Come back!"
I run after him, sprinting through the hallway until we make it onto the street. There, in the middle of the crowded road, is Bang Chan. He's bent over, clutching his head as if he's in terrible pain. His skin ripples, his body twitching as he groans.
"Bang Chan! What's wrong?"
"The mark. It opened up more power between us than I was expecting."
"What? What do you mean? What's going on?"
I hear murmurs of confusion nearby as civilians stare openly at the two of us.
"I can't control it, (Y/N), I…I'm shifting."