[Scene – On the way to the new school, Musutafu]
The sun was shining like it found my misery amusing.
I walked along Musutafu's clean sidewalks wearing a freshly ironed school uniform and a backpack that made noise with every step. It was like the universe was screaming at me: "Welcome to pastel hell, elementary edition."
Next to me, Denki was whistling. Literally whistling. As if this was a Sunday stroll and not the beginning of my daily nightmare.
"Did you know this school has an augmented reality court?" he said, with the enthusiasm of a golden retriever after three cups of coffee. "And a classroom where you can simulate rescue situations!"
"Does simulating your death count?" I muttered.
"Huh?"
"That's great, Denki. Simulations. Wow."
He laughed.
I didn't.
[Scene – School entrance]
The building was modern, spacious, shiny. A bunch of kids were screaming, running, throwing things. Some were floating. One had fire on his head. Another was eating crayons like peanuts. And no one seemed to notice how absurd it all was.
"What is this?" I asked, looking around. "A convention for unlicensed mini-villains?"
[Welcome to quirk-based elementary education. Naturally chaotic. Statistically, three of these children will cause fires before lunch.]
"Great. And I didn't bring an extinguisher."
A kid with gills waved at me. Another slid past me on slime. A third one had a notebook he was drawing in… with his eyes.
I felt like I was in some kind of zoo with no cages.
"This is the... normal class?" I whispered, horrified.
[Everything's relative, Goo. In this universe, this is normal.]
Denki greeted a few kids like he'd known them forever. He even told them "my little brother is shy." I had to suppress the homicidal glare growing inside me.
We passed through the main hallway. There were drawings pinned to the walls, all signed with crooked letters and strange names like "Tetsu," "Miruku," and "Mochi-boy." One had a rocket drawn over a cat.
"I'm going to set this place on fire," I muttered.
[Wait for recess. It's more dramatic.]
…And of course, the classroom looked like someone had locked a group of raccoons in with paint and colored paper overnight.
There were drawings stuck to the walls—more poorly cut than my faith in humanity—motivational phrases with rainbows, and posters that said "Be Yourself!", which, ironically, made me want to pretend to be a plant.
Denki kept acting like we were guest stars in a children's show. He greeted people, smiled, threw out phrases like "Let's do our best!" and I... well, I just prayed for the floor to swallow me whole. Or for some kid with seismic powers to lose control and end us all.
When we reached the classroom door, a young teacher with her hair tied up and square glasses greeted us with a smile clearly fueled by coffee, stress, and a dash of despair.
"Welcome! You must be the Kaminari brothers, right?"
Denki responded with a bright "Yes, sensei!" as if we were in some midday school drama.
I just nodded. One of those nods that said: "Yes, I'm new, and no, I don't want to be here."
"All right. Please come in. Let's introduce you both."
[This is the moment. Smile. Or don't. Just try not to bite anyone.]
"I'm weighing my options."
We entered.
Thirty heads turned toward us like we were aliens. And technically, in my case, they weren't far off.
Kids. Lots of them. With weird haircuts, wobbly teeth, and enough energy to make me sweat anxiety. One was spinning a chair with their quirk. Another was levitating a pencil. One was asleep with his eyes open.
Chaos had a name, a surname, and a backpack with stickers.
"Class!" the teacher said. "We have new classmates. Denki has been with us before, but today he's joined by his little brother, Goo Kaminari."
No. NO. I was no Kaminari.
But I let it slide.
Because correcting her meant talking, and talking meant more eyes on me.
"Goo, would you like to tell us something about yourself?"
Yes. I'd like to tell you I'm a reincarnated adult, that I hate primary colors, and that anyone who says 'little buddies' deserves jail time.
But the only thing that came out of my mouth was:
"… No."
[Concise. Intimidating. 7/10.]
The teacher laughed awkwardly and said, "Well, sometimes shyness is normal. He'll open up eventually."
Denki smiled. I swallowed hate.
And walked toward the desk they assigned me.
With luck, no one would talk to me.
With more luck, I wouldn't have to... fit in.
But this was a school in Musutafu.
And in Musutafu, nothing was that simple.
"Hi," said a soft but excited voice right next to me.
I slowly turned, already mentally prepared to face yet another hyperactive child specimen.
And there he was.
A freckled boy with messy green hair, eyes wide like he had just discovered the secret of the universe... and a notebook in his hands.
He looked at me with a mix of nervousness and genuine kindness. Like he didn't know whether to say hi or apologize for existing.
"Uhh... my name's Izuku. Izuku Midoriya. You're... you're new, right?"
I sighed. Internally. Then externally. Then internally again, but more dramatically.
"What gave it away? My aura of suffering? The lack of friends? Or the fact that I don't recognize any of the kids with drool on their faces?"
"Oh! Uh... yeah, right. I just meant... well, I hadn't seen you before. And also... you're with Kaminari-kun, right? He didn't use to go here either."
Denki, from his seat, flashed me a bright smile and waved enthusiastically.
Traitor.
"And you're what exactly?" I asked the green-haired kid.
"Huh?"
"The class rep? A fan of new students? Or just someone whose people-hating radar is badly programmed?"
Izuku scratched the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable, but didn't move away.
"No, I just... you seem interesting. And I thought maybe we could... uh... talk. A little."
I looked him up and down. He didn't seem like a threat. But not exactly an escape either.
"Why 'talk'? Are you on a secret mission? Or do you collect human interactions as a hobby?"
"N-no! I just... I like meeting new people. And, well, I'm taking notes on quirks, but that has nothing to do with you, I swear. Unless you have one too. Do you?"
I sighed.
"If I say yes, will you leave me alone?"
"No! I mean... yes! I mean... oh no...! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to bother you. Really. It's just... well... I'm kind of bad at talking."
[A bit, he says. This kid is an emotional glitch.]
"It's fine," I said, resting my face on my hand like I was about to accept a life sentence. "You can stay."
Izuku's eyes lit up like someone had just handed him a signed All Might sticker.
"R-really?"
"But don't talk. And don't touch my stuff. And if you look at me like I'm some rare creature on display again, I'm hitting you with a notebook like that one."
"Understood!" he said, sitting beside me with a smile that looked straight out of a school festival.
[You've just adopted a puppy named Midoriya. Congratulations.]
And just like that, without my permission or emotional cooperation, I made contact with the first weird kid in this world.
One who was kind. Loud. Kinda useless.
But for some reason, didn't make me want to throw him out the window.
At least not yet.